I am the Phoenix

četvrtak, 08.12.2005.

Magla

Svi evo pričaju o Anti Gotovini, a ja baš neću. Tko zna da li je to uopće on ... Ne bi se čudio da je to neki dvojnik ... No, ja ću pričati o magli. Oduvijek sam ju volio, neznam zašto ... Ljudi ju baš nevole, kad padne najrađe bi se zavukli doma jer imaju osjećaj da ih guši, da im ne da mira, da ih ubija ... A ja ? Ja bi najrađe otišao van i uživao ... kad padne sve mi izgleda mistično kao da prekrije sve gadosti ovoga svijeta ... kao da je nov ... i ja za razliku od drugih dišem punim plućima. Kad njene kapljice dođu u dodir s mojim toplim dahom osjeća se takva svježina, osjećam se tako nov, pročiščen, ... Valjda je to nešto povezano sa psihom ... neznam ... Kada padne magla izoliram se od svega što mi se dogodilo, što mi se događa i ljudi oko sebe, sam sam sa sobom ... i maglom ...

Danas očito nešto posebno magla utječe na ljude. Osjećaju se kao kad stjerate životinje u mali ograđeni prostor na klanje, a one se osjete ugrožene pa počnu napadati ... Tako sam i ja danas bio na udaru. Sa svima sam se posvađao iako meni to na neki način godi ... jer ... volim se svađati. Šta da vam kažem ? Volim opovrgavati tuđa mišljenja, komentirati , ... i to je tako ... takav sam ja ... i tko to ne prihvati, ne prihvaća mene i ja tu nemam više što tražiti ... Best frend ti kaže da si dosadan iako si išao doma s misli kako ćeš ga što prije nazvati da vidiš šta je bilo ... Tako je to ... Ljudi su čudne životinje ... svaka mala sitnica ih može uzdrmati. Ne uživaju u malim stvarima ... Zbog takvih ovaj život više ni nema smisao ... Jer, smisao je u nama jedino ga mi možemo ostvariti ali kad ga nitko ne želi kad ti ga uzmu, otmu, ... teško je živjeti, jako teško ... A svejedno slušaš onaj glas u glavi i opet, i opet, i opet ... i ne možeš protiv njega ... ne možeš protiv - sebe ...Znam da ne shvaćate, no nije ni bitno, ne trebate ... ja to pišem za sebe ...

Evo, ostavljam vam pjesmu koja je na neki način povezana s onim što sam pričao danas ... pa poslušajte ako hoćete ... ako nećete ... nemorate ... A ja idem do prozora, gledati svijetla u magli i uživati ... biti svoj ... jer me nitko ne vidi ... uživati dok magle ne nestane ... i opet budem morao staviti onu ofucanu masku na lice i krenuti u svijet, krenuti sa iluzijom u mislima da on ima smisla ...



"Papercut"

Why does it feel like night today?
Something in here's not right today.
Why am I so uptight today?
Paranoia's all I got left
I don't know what stressed me first
Or how the pressure was fed
But I know just what it feels like
To have a voice in the back of my head
Like a face that I hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time I lie
A face that laughs every time I fall
(And watches everything)

So I know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is hearing me
Right beneath my skin

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

I know I've got a face in me
Points out all my mistakes to me
You've got a face on the inside too and
Your paranoia's probably worse
I don't know what set me off first
But I know what I can't stand
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is
I can't add up to what you can but

Everybody has a face that they hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time they lie
A face that laughs every time they fall
(And watches everything)

So you know that when it's time to sink or swim
That the face inside is watching you too
Right inside your skin

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

The face inside is right beneath your skin

The sun goes down
I feel the light betray me
The sun goes down
I feel the light betray me

The sun
I feel the light betray me
The sun
I feel the light betray me

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin

- 21:18 - Unleash my power... (4) - Release the Phoenix - #

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Witness the power of the Phoenix

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    Jesam li napravio što krivo u životu? Tko zna. Nitko ništa ne zna. Oduvijek samnom no, pokušah to sakriti. Ta tama ... oduvijek tu. Sat za satom, dan za danom ... tražila je izlaz. Napokon, udahnuo sam i ispustio tu tišinu ... okružila me. Ta tišina, taj mrak ... ušao je u sve pore moga bića ... Što sam ja? Sve ono što sam bio, više nisam. Ni ne sjećam se. Kao da me nikada nije ni bilo. Što sam ja? Izgubljen u tami ... shvaćam da sam to ja ... tama sam ja. Rođen je Feniks ...

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    Evanescence: "Lithium"




    "Lithium"

    Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
    Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
    Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.
    Oh, but God, I want to let it go.


    Come to bed, don't make me sleep alone.
    Couldn't hide the emptiness, you let it show.
    Never wanted it to be so cold.
    Just didn't drink enough to say you love me.

    I can't hold on to me,
    Wonder what's wrong with me.


    Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
    Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
    Lithium, I want to stay in love with my sorrow.


    Don't want to let it lay me down this time.
    Drown my will to fly.
    Here in the darkness I know myself.
    Can't break free until I let it go.
    Let me go.

    Darling, I forgive you after all.
    Anything is better than to be alone.
    And in the end I guess I had to fall.
    Always find my place among the ashes.

    I can't hold on to me,
    Wonder what's wrong with me.


    Lithium, don't want to lock me up inside.
    Lithium, don't want to forget how it feels without...
    Lithium, ...stay in love with my sorrow.
    I'm gonna let it go.



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