First let me say this won't make sense, ok? Now that we've made that clear, let's just start... a start would be the world around me, as always... Now, the people are what makes that world that interesting... I always liked the good company... but most of time that company wouldn't appreciate me... not as much as I'd like, that is. Now where's the catch? Beats me... this is supposed to be a piece of mind, kinda confession... interpret it your way (like there's any other...)

Is it just me or am I alone again? Again, beats me... never the bright one, not when decisions about my condition are made... no sir, I'm wrong most of the time... What I do know is that the whole thing might even be my own fault. Why? Am I a bad person? Call me an egoist, but I must say: NO... or at least I try with all my heart for that answer to be a NO. All my real sins are made of feelings. All things i did wrong made of misunderstandings, forgetfulness or disbeliefs, none on purpose. I did things for a cause, a good cause that slowly changes for the better... it grows with my character, time brings new ideals to it. That cause keeps me going... It holds my world in one piece, no matter how that world looks like. I try and want to do things that'll keep that cause alive and show its real face to others. I hope that they'll understand, I really do... but sometimes hope does nothing, it just brings back the dissapointment...

Where am I going? You're asking the wrong side... I'm just writing this and the end is none of my damn bussines... it'll come when the hands start to feel tired, cause the brain ain't stoppin' really... no, not yet...

Yes, I'm beginning to wonder: Is all the jabber about "all humans are evil and you can't change that" just silly superstition or what? I mean... I can't say people around me are evil but... wait... now I get it... I'm just being a perfectionist again... gee... this hurts... It's me again... something in my head... isn't that always so? I mean... everything is just a matter of "point of view", right? Which means this goddamn post is just another dream of mine... a dream of perfect society... now a song title crosses my mind: Kamelot - Soul Society... that's what I'm looking for, obviously.. a SOUL society... not a money society, not a goddamn "Me, Myself and I" society... a SOUL society! A dream never to come true... i know... hope dies last but to hope for this to be possible... no, wouldn't make much sense, now would it? I mean, you can't change a society to suit your own selfish needs, that would be... not a paradox, but a catastrophy times 6 billion... or is it 7 already? Who could count... because everyone sees the society his/her own way... I'm just another dreamer, one of many... and won't make a thing to get above the mass... I'll stay just One of many... self-imposed...

Kamelot - Soul Society

If my soul could revive
From my carnal remains
What does it matter to me
If it all fades to black
If I'm born once again
Then no one really is free

How could I be condemned
For the things I have done
If my intentions were good
I guess I'll never know
Some things under the sun
Can never be understood

How can we believe in heaven
Human reason counters all
My tears are soul society
My life is just a fragment
Of the universe and more
There must be more than I can see

In the dark we're the same
In the concept of time
We're like a grain in the sand
And we sprout from the flame
As if death was a rain
'Cause we can not understand

How I wish there was a heaven
All for one and one for all
A flawless soul society
Our lives are just a fragment
Of the universe and more
There may be more than we can see...