Korak naprijed ...
22.03.2005., utorak
Repetitio mortis
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Grančice masline i magarčev hod. Glasni povici svjetine u sunčano jutro. Stabalce pelina sa stručkom masline i krvav znoj i četa u noćnoj tmici. A onda bič, pljuvanje, psovke al' sad iz tame. Teret drveta najtežeg što je izraslo iz utrobe neplodne zemlje i sarkastičan smijeh na licu bijede i ruke pripijene uz drvo silom i krv i rebro. I dvije riječi "žedan sam" i sve je svršeno da počne iznova. |
- 10:11 - Komentari (7) - Isprintaj - #
11.03.2005., petak
You know that you are typical Croatian when ...
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At least one family member makes his own wine "Sljivovica" is used not only to celebrate at all occasions, but to cure illness and as a massage lotion as well. At the age of 13, you are allowed to go out of town with your friends for Croatian soccer tournaments, folklore festivals and dances. You were still in elementary school the first time yougot drunk. The majority of your friends are also your relatives, even if they aren't your relatives, you refer to their parents as "Teta" and "Striko" You are the only kid in your class who doesn't get to sleep in on Saturdays because of "Hrvatska Skola" "Kuhace" are not only used for stirring when cooking...they are also used by Mama to beat you when there is no "siba" handy. At least once before you've told your parents that you'll call the police to report "child abuse" and each time your parents said "Samo probaj". Mama beat you in public on at least one occasion. When leaving the house to go out, you always receive the same warnings (regardless of age): -"Pazi sta radis", "Pamet u glavu", "Nemoj me sramotit", "Nemoj da ja sta cujem" Sadly, if something actually does happen, somehow Mama will know before you make it home Lunch on Sundays have more courses than Kanadjani have for Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner You love "pasteta", but don't like bringing it to school or work for lunch because you'd be embarassed if someone asked you what it was There is a slab of fat in your fridge called SLANINA Your mother washes the dishes before putting them in the dishwasher!!! All meals your parents have ever prepared contain one key ingredient "Vegeta" Vegetarianism is not a concept your parents understand All other action stops when you hear people speaking Serbian in a store somewhere and your mom starts to talk to you in english so that the serbian people won't find out you speak "their" language and start trying to be your friend. You insist that you can spot a Serb from a mile away You have at least one short-wave radio in your house You smell garlic on the old man's breath behind you sitting on the klupa in church on sunday mornings You live with your parents until you are married Mama thinks that whenever you get sick it's because you didn't eat enough You are never ever allowed to sit by an open window for fear of catching pneumonia from the "propuh" (even in the middle of summer) When upset, it isn't unusual for Tata to send you "u p**** materinu" Baba and Dida wear at least 3 layers of clothing in all seasons Dida spits into a napkin at the dinner table Your parents turn the channel when there is a kissing scene Dida insists you are quiet while he watches the news even though he doesn't understand a single word they're saying, regardless of the fact he doesn't understand what they're saying, he knows more about what's going on in the world than you do Whenever your parents said "vidit cemo" you knew that it meant "NO!" Everything that goes wrong in the world can somehow be traced back to Serbs Your cousin in Croatia who calls you to send him money had a cell phone before you and wears only name brand clothing Your relatives in Croatia think it's strange if you are not married by the age of 18 You are only allowed to vacation in the homeland English words are acceptable if used with the ending "A-T-I" which makes them Croatian... "play-ati", "study-ati", "party-ati",... Your dida mowes the lawn in knee high black socks and sandels Your parents still prefer buying cassete's over cd's A CROATIAN wedding consists of a minimum of 400 people, 2/3 of which u don't even know ......Your still laughing your ass off cause u know every single one of these are true!!!!! ...... |
- 12:33 - Komentari (2) - Isprintaj - #
08.03.2005., utorak
And so it isJust like you said it would be Life goes easy on me Most of the time And so it is The shorter story No love, no glory No hero in her sky I can't take my eyes off of you I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes off of you I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes... And so it is Just like you said it should be We'll both forget the breeze Most of the time And so it is The colder water The blower's daughter The pupil in denial I can't take my eyes off of you I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes off of you I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes off you I can't take my eyes... Did I say that I loathe you? Did I say that I want to Leave it all behind? I can't take my mind off of you I can't take my mind off you I can't take my mind off of you I can't take my mind off you I can't take my mind off you I can't take my mind... My mind...my mind... 'Til I find somebody new |
- 10:10 - Komentari (2) - Isprintaj - #
01.03.2005., utorak
Odmor od teških tema i malo svakidašnjice ...
Pomalo se osjećam već umorno, iako sam sretna. U posljednje se vrijeme puno stvari dogodilo, puno želja rodilo, a samo će se neke ostvariti. Trebala sam mučkati glavom češče i više nego sam to trebala činiti prije. Padale su neke odluke, neka odricanja na račun drugih stvari. Neke želje su "smrznute" za određeno vrijeme, da bi se mogle ostvariti druge. Slaganje prioriteta nikada mi nije bilo lako. A sada se odjednom našlo nekoliko stvari koje su u meni budile ugodan osjećaj i osjećaj sreće, ali sam ih morala posložiti ... koje su mi bitnije ... Znate ono, kad vam kažu - što vam je bitnije, ljubav ili zdravlje; sreća ili zadovoljstvo itd. a vi sami znate da u biti jedno bez drugog ne ide. Ali ipak onaj "ali" i onaj "ipak" kažu da ovaj put ne može sve. Nisu to neke odluke životnog značenja, pa mi zato postavljanje prioriteta ne bi trebalo biti ne znam kako teško. Ali je ipak bilo. Zašto? Zato jer se ja bojim promjena ... Bojim se svega što bi moglo biti "nepredvidljivo". Iako mi se sada čini da je to "bojim se" pretjerano. Da to nije baš tako. Ali možda ipak jest. Kako god - za sada sam donijela onu glavnu odluku. Jedina od svih koja bi mogla biti od životnog značenja. Ne značenja života i smrti, već značenja životnog iskustva, životnog izazova, životne prilike ... A to je da odlazim. Odlučila sam otići na pola godine. Ako mi se svidi i ako mi bude išlo sve kako treba - i financijski i intelektualno - možda i produžim na godinu dana. No, pola godine ili godina ... non fa bitno ... samo želim otići. Vidjeti svijet (nije baš svijet, samo je Europa, ali svijet se bolje čuje :) ). Iskusiti nove stvari. Vidjeti kako funkcioniram van poznate svakodnevne rutine. Vidjeti kako se snalazim u nepoznatom. Želim učiti nove stvari. Naučiti ono što me zanima. Želim birati što učiti ... I da, mnogi će reći pa to možeš i doma. I ja to mislim, ali čini mi se uzbudljivije preko granice ... u nepoznatom :) Veselim se odlasku ... prijava pada u sljedećih nekoliko dana ... Do 10. mjeseca imam vremena prikupiti i financije i informacije ... Znate kako je jednom negdje netko rekao: Mislim da je ovo prvi dan ostatka mog života ... e tako se i ja osjećam s ovim: Mislim da je ovo prva stepenica mog osvajanja, rekla bih teatralno - svijeta, ali ću reći samo ... prva stepenica od mnogih koje me još čekaju :) |
- 15:19 - Komentari (4) - Isprintaj - #
Dnevnik.hr |
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Opis bloga
Htio bih vam reći najdublje riječi, ali se ne usuđujem. Bojim se vašeg smijeha... Htio bih vam reći najiskrenije riječi, ali se ne usuđujem. Bojim se da mi nećete vjerovati... R. Tagore Nekad sam mislila da sve mogu sama. Da u dugim noćima, u tišini sobe, uz mene nema nikoga. Mišljah da moje planove ometaju ljudi, da sam sve to mogla učiniti bolje i drugačije. I to sve sama. Potpuno. Bila sam nestrpljiva i nepopravljivo tvrdoglava kada su u pitanju bile moje čežnje i zahtjevi. A sve to vrijeme uz mene je, poput nježne ali čvrste ovojnice stajao Gospodar. Nisam ni slutila kolika se snaga krije u Onome kojega možeš upoznati samo srcem. U onome kojega samo u ljubavi možeš vidjeti. Sve moje sposobnosti bijahu ništavne bez Njega, ali moje srce to nije znalo. Šutjeti nisam umjela, ljubiti još manje. Ali Ljubav nije mogla bez mene. Onaj koji je sama Dobrota i vjernost želio se nastaniti baš u meni. Tada spoznadoh da ništa nisam i ne mogu sama učiniti, da su bol i radost dar Onoga koji me ljubi. Željana Kovačević |
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