petak, 28.04.2006.

Pita napušeni medo ušlagiranog zeku: - Zeko, koliko je sati? Vadi zeko barometar i kaže:
- Petak.wink

Muha kaže muhi: - Kako su ljudi glupi. Grade kuće sa zidovima i krovovima, a onda hodaju po podu.wink

Kralj lav sazvao sastanak u šumi. Sve su životinje došle na vrijeme, osim stonoge koja je zakasnila. Lav je ljutito upita: - Zašto ti kasniš?
- Pa, na vratima piše: "Obriši noge"!wink

Kupio čovjek papagaja koji navodno govori, ali nažalost, papagaj nije progovorio nijednu jedinu riječ. Čovjek sjeo kraj papagaja i stalno mu ponavlja: - Halo, halo, halo, halo. Nakon nekoliko sati halokanja papagaj se prodere: - Zauzetoooooo!!!
Tu-tu, tu-tu, tu!rofl

Što nastane križanjem zeca i konja? -ZEKONJA!wink

Razgovaraju muž i žena:
-Dragi, sjećaš li se kad si prije pola godine bio na ribarenju?
-Kako da ne. Odličan je bio ulov!
-E, pa zvala te riba i kaže da očekuje ribice.nut

Sjedi bakica na grani, naiđe mali Ivica pa joj kaže: - Kaj je, bakice, RED BULL?
- Kakav Red Bull, to je pit bull!!!wink

Trči zec preko pruge, naleti na njega vlak, pa jadnik završi u bolnici. Probudi se zec iz kome, a kraj njegovog kreveta leži bik koji mu podrugljivo kaže:
- Imaš tako velike uši, a pregazio te vlak. Možeš se sramit.
A zec će njemu: - Što ti meni imaš govoriti! Imaš tako velika jaja, a veterinari ti rade djecu.rofl

Igrale životinje nogomet i prvo poluvrijeme završi 0:0. U drugome u jednu ekipu uđe stonoga i zabije tri gola i ovi pobijede sa 3:0. Nakon utakmice stonoga daje intervju:
- Svojoj ste ekipi donijeli pobjedu! Zašto niste igrali i u prvom poluvremenu?
A stonoga odgovara: - PA... DOK SAM OBUKLA KOPAČKE!wink

Imao Mujo pit-bulla, a Haso vučjaka. Potuku se dva psa i pit-bull zakolje vučjaka.
Haso ode i kupi drugog psa. Ovaj put kupi dogu. Potuku se psi ponovo i opet pit-bull pobijedi. Opet Haso kupi psa, ovaj put šar-planinca. Psi se ponovno potuku i opet pit-bull pobjedi. Haso se stvarno naljuti i ode si kupiti novog psa. Vraća se Haso za dva dana kući i dovodi jazavčara. Mujo se počne smijati ko' mutav i zafrkavat' Hasu zbog psa. Potuku se psi ponovo, kad se za nekoliko minuta vraća jazavčar sa pit-bullovom glavom u ustima. Mujo stane plakati i kaže: - Znaš li ti koliko sam ja platio toga pit-bulla?!, a na to će Haso:
- A da li ti znaš koliko sam ja platio plastičnu operaciju ovoga krokodila?"rofl

Nastavnica na satu glazbenog kaže učenicima da oponašaju vuka. Uto skoči mali Ivica i kaže pred cijelim razredom da njegov djed zna oponašati vuka i da bi im on mogao pokazati. Na to nastavnica kaže da dovede djeda u školu. I doveo Ivica djeda u školu, pa ga upita pred svima: - Djede kada si zadnji put s bakom...?
A na to će djed: - Auuuu!rofl

Došao zeko u Sarajevo, uđe u buregdžinicu i kaže: - Dobaj dan. Imate li pitu od mukve, a prodavač kaže: - Nemamo pitu od mrkve. - Dobjo, doviđenja.
Drugi dan došao zeko opet, pa kaže: - Dobaj dan. Imate li pitu od mukve, a prodavač kaže:
- Nemamo. - Dobjo, doviđenja. Kada je zeko otišao ovaj kaže prijatelju: - Hajdemo napraviti tu pitu od mrkve. Zeko dolazi svaki dan i bit će dobra mušterija.
- Treći dan dolazi zeko i kaže:
- Dobaj dan. Imate li pitu od mukve? Prodavač kaže: - Imamo, a zeko će: - Jel'de, baš je bljak...roflroflrofl

Sunčanog nedjeljnog jutra dotrči zeko do lisičine jame, taman kad si lisica mota joint. - Srami se! Takav lijepi dan, usred prirode, a ti se hoćeš drogirat!
Bolje ti je da ideš sa mnom na jogging! Lisica si pomisli: - U pravu je, - baci joint i zajedno otrče.
Dotrče do vuka, koji si je baš grijao žlicu iznad svijeće. Zeko ponovo: - Vuče, pusti drogu! Trči sa nama, zdravije je, pogledaj kako je danas lijepo jutro!
Vuk malo gunđa, a u sebi si misli: - Mali je u pravu, - i krene s njima.
I tako oni trče okolo, usput pokupe još kunu, koja je snifala koku, medvjeda koji je zapalio vodnu lulu i u ekipi je već lijepi broj životinja kad dotrče
do lava, starog džankija i zeko već izdaleka vrišti: - Hej lave! A lav kaže:
- Pa zar uvijek cijela šuma mora trčati kad se zeko napuca ekstazija.roflroflrofl


EVO VAM NEKOLIKO VICEVA
IMAM JOS JEDAN POST KOJI SAM DANAS NAPISALA
D
O
L
J
E
!!!
UZIVAJTE
chaowavemahwavemah

- 12:03 -

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I adopted a cute lil' death fetus
from Fetusmart! Hooray fetus!




ANKETE:



EMINEM - WHEN I'M GONE

[Introduction]
Yeah...
It's my life...
My own words I guess...

[Verse 1]
Have you ever loved someone so much, you'd give an arm for?
Not the expression, no, literally give an arm for?
When they know they're your heart
And you know you were their armour
And you will destroy anyone who would try to harm 'her
But what happens when karma, turns right around and bites you?
And everything you stand for, turns on you, despite you?
What happens when you become the main source of her pain?
"Daddy look what I made", Dad's gotta go catch a plane
"Daddy where's Mommy? I can't find Mommy where is she?"
I don't know go play Hailie, baby, your Daddy's busy
Daddy's writing a song, this song ain't gonna write itself
I'll give you one underdog then you gotta swing by yourself
Then turn right around in that song and tell her you love her
And put hands on her mother, who's a spitting image of her
That's Slim Shady, yeah baby, Slim Shady's crazy
Shady made me, but tonight Shady's rocka-by-baby...

[Chorus]
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

[Verse 2]
I keep having this dream, I'm pushin' Hailie on the swing
She keeps screaming, she don't want me to sing
"You're making Mommy cry, why? Why is Mommy crying?"
Baby, Daddy ain't leaving no more, "Daddy you're lying
"You always say that, you always say this is the last time
"But you ain't leaving no more, Daddy you're mine"
She's piling boxes in front of the door trying to block it
"Daddy please, Daddy don't leave, Daddy - no stop it!"
Goes in her pocket, pulls out a tiny necklace locket
It's got a picture, "this'll keep you safe Daddy, take it withcha'"
I look up, it's just me standing in the mirror
These fuckin' walls must be talking, cuz man I can hear 'em
They're saying "You've got one more chance to do right" - and it's tonight
Now go out there and show that you love 'em before it's too late
And just as I go to walk out of my bedroom door
It's turns to a stage, they're gone, and this spotlight is on
And I'm singing...

[Chorus]
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...

[Verse 3]
Sixty thousand people, all jumping out their seat
The curtain closes, they're throwing roses at my feet
I take a bow and thank you all for coming out
They're screaming so loud, I take one last look at the crowd
I glance down, I don't believe what I'm seeing
"Daddy it's me, help Mommy, her wrists are bleeding,"
But baby we're in Sweden, how did you get to Sweden?
"I followed you Daddy, you told me that you weren't leavin'
"You lied to me Dad, and now you make Mommy sad
"And I bought you this coin, it says 'Number One Dad'
"That's all I wanted, I just want to give you this coin
"I get the point - fine, me and Mommy are going"
But baby wait, "it's too late Dad, you made the choice
"Now go out there and show 'em that you love 'em more than us"
That's what they want, they want you Marshall, they keep.. screamin' your name
It's no wonder you can't go to sleep, just take another pill
Yeah, I bet you you will. You rap about it, yeah, word, k-keep it real
I hear applause, all this time I couldn't see
How could it be, that the curtain is closing on me
I turn around, find a gun on the ground, cock it
Put it to my brain and scream "die Shady" and pop it
The sky darkens, my life flashes, the plane that I was supposed to be on crashes and burns to ashes
That's when I wake up, alarm clock's ringin', there's birds singin'
It's Spring and Hailie's outside swinging, I walk right up to Kim and kiss her
Tell her I miss her, Hailie just smiles and winks at her little sister
Almost as if to say..

[Chorus/Outro]
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back
And when I'm gone, just carry on, don't mourn
Rejoice every time you hear the sound of my voice
Just know that I'm looking down on you smiling
And I didn't feel a thing, So baby don't feel no pain
Just smile back...