flipgirlused

The foremost modifier company for 22nd century Stark Enterprises wheelchairs is StarkRolla. The "Home Slide" model, when pimped out by StarkRolla, became the "HollaSide."

As a general rule, Stark Enterprises did not offer any models in the colours of the corporate bodyguard/CEO alter ego/divisive figure, Iron Man. StarkRolla regularly did, and the HollaSide offered copious amounts of gold to go with the deep crimson. Curiously, this colour scheme also matched well with the red jackets of Lego minifigures which sported the logo of the "Classic Space" line, best known from its use in the webcomic "Tranquility Base."

The HollaSide is driven by a 9th-generation phebotinum drive, housed in the armoured section between and above the primary wheels. It is capable of travel three sentences ahead of the speed of plot. (This is an upgrade over the factory model, which only offers a maximum speed of a paragraph behind the speed of plot; wheelchair riders now can anticipate plot twists and punchlines with ease.) The primary wheels, which feature oversized gold rims and low profile racing tires, not only provide primary propulsion but also computer-assisted corrective balance and maximum street cred. Steering is the responsibility of the small fore and aft wheels, depending upon the drive configuration in use.

The HollaSide offers two drive configurations. The first is a jacked up version of the factory standard, and the second is a lowered street-legal race version. (It is made legal by the addition of headlights, turn lights, and brake lights, all of which have the option to be within or to exceed the allowable limits for tolerable luminosity. The brake lights are housed within an appropriately impressive amount of chrome.) In case of low interior spaces, the wheelchair can safely operate in its street configuration indoors while terrifying those without such a fine ride.

The forewheels, always visible, are rendered in a muscular gunmetal, while the aft wheels are in a discrete midnight black when deployed. All of this is done to ensure that maximum street cred can be enjoyed by the owner/driver. The three sets of wheels can we used to climb stairs in less enlightened areas lacking ramps, too. (StarkRolla disdains any company that claims to offer a wheelchair but does not place a wheel on the product, but they are, of course, purists.)

To be street safe, the driver's seat had to be surrounded by side impact panels and offer full spinal support and protection. This has been achieved with an eye to style, aerodynamics, and visible arms for the purposes of demonstrative gestures. The side panels fold down to assist the driver in disembarking, and the back support is designed to raise and lower the driver to and from position. The side panels also offer mounting hardpoints for bling, weaponry, or other desirable and covetous items. The model shown here originally sported replicas of Scaramanga's Golden Gun and Count Dooku's lightsabre, but once the designed revealed that this was done so that he could rap the pun "roll up on them like Christopher Lee," the switch was made to a replica of Alec Guinness's instead. (The designer was forced to serve time reviewing the collected works of Joe Estevez without "Satellite of Love"-derived commentary as punishment.) The replica of the gun features name-and-shoot defense technology, as well as broadbeam rays to smooth out uneven ground. The replica of the lightsabre houses a full range of optical, auditory, olfactory, and taste sensors, particularly to assist in the selection of the freshest produce at the market as well as to monitor traffic conditions and potential threats to either person or plotline.

The driver's controls are focused upon an electronic display and two levers. The levers are for vintage tanker-style steering as well as for manual wheel propulsion in case of low phlebotinum charges. (The depleted phlebotinum chassis and body of the wheelchair is exceptionally light and strong, except when necessary for the sake of literary or dramatic effect.) The electronic display can be controlled by voice, exhalation/inhalation, anxiety, and emphatic gestures, or even by touch interface if you're into that sort of thing.

In case of rollover, two LampShaydeHanga (TM) force fields with fully independent power sources and focal antennae are situated directly behind the head of the driver to ensure driver safety, no matter how contrived or unlikely.

The StarkRolla HollaSide is simply the most luxe wheelchair that the fictional future has to offer.

So excited to have it!

It's a Kuschall Champion in "Purple Fire", with Alber E-Motion power assisted wheels.

It is hard to say how much nicer it is than the old wheelchair, but ten being an order of magnitude more expensive, you might expect it! Also, it just makes moving around feel so nice, sometimes fun. I could sing their praises, but I'm not selling them ... so ;)