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utorak, 16.08.2005.
why do I still need you so much?
what's the point...it seems like there hasn't been one for a while...
do i love you...or is it just the fear of knowing you won't be by me...
that keeps us together....
i'm so used to you...we were 'married' for so long...that i wonder how life will be now.
not bad, i'm sure...but what do i do when i miss you?
how do i deal with the knowledge that you will never again sleep in my bed...
that we will never again take 'bubble baths' and go to the movies...
criticizing every one, even if it's unbelievably awsome...
i will miss our cuddling, and kisses at the end of the phone calls...
i'll miss the 'night-night dudek' which i heard every night...
i will even miss your yelling and constant bitching...
the talks about my past and our future which will never happen...
sjetim se kako sam te 'kostala 200 godina zivota'
u said that 3 years ago...but what now?
how many years have i cost you now???
you say you love me and that i should have known.
how? am i supposed to read your mind?
i shold've 'felt it' you say.
i'm sorry--but each time i asked if you missed you'd answer by saying
BE GOOD!!!
i began to hate those two words and stopped asking you how you feel...
i never knew...that you stayed because...that you still needed...wanted...
20 days ago...you were thinking...you won't say what...and i don't dare ask...
20 days ago, my life was different...
20 days ago i was sure i could live without you...that i am finally able to continue my life....
alone...that i would be ok with us just being friends....
20 days ago, i didn't know you cared...
20 days ago, i didn't know you loved me...
20 days ago....you told me to stop dreaming...
20 days ago....
that is just what i did...
- 18:15 -
