::ribafish - čovjek krnje jetre::

subota, 08.03.2008.

Tajanstveni gost

Din-don!

Idem prema vratima.

Subota je, rješavam se fuševa, perem robu, selim stvari iz kuhinje na balkon (priprema za majstore) i nerviram jer navečer imam promociju svoje knjige na koju mi se nikak ne ide.

Niko se nije najavio, nikog ne očekujem, grah-ričet krčka, upitnici iznad glave, odlazim na vrata...

Otključ, otvor, a tamo nikad prije viđena teta od svojih 55 let s onim kolicima za plac i dvije kutije na njima:

"Dobar dan, prodajem posuđe i escajg. Je li gospođa doma?"

"Fala, imam..."

Zalup, zaključ, grah promješ, lampic, lampic, lampic...

Pa eem ti mater, e.

Ono, en ti ma...

Mislim, jel gospođa doma.

Kužiš, ono, mirišem na omekšivač, zavrnuti rukavi, pregačica, i ona meni jel gospođa doma.

Gospođo, probudite se, tak ne bute više niš prodali - otkad je emancipacija na snazi, target za posuđe su - muškarci.

Ili si solo pa se hoćeš razveselit, ili si se tak pametno postavil da ćeš zakonitoj kupit 143-dijelni servis za godišnjicu ili Valentinovo i natjerat je da se tome još i raduje...

Pretvaram se u pedera.

Trenutno sam nervozna kućanica koja pati za IPhoneom.

A nekad sam mogao triput zaredom s dvije pauze i još ić pit nakon toga...

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Kriste, kak mi se nejde na tu promociju...

Valjda neće bit žutih novinara...


By ribafish

Kako radim kao urednik u novinama, ne pada mi napamet pročitat nešto što mi je netko drugi objavio, dakle i lektorirao i redigirao.

Pa nisam ni svoj esej pogledao, a bogami ni tuđe - ima ih sve skupa dvadesetak.

Na blef sam okrenuo jednu priču i tamo je bilo nešto moderno, tipa "Orah višnjom protkan što mi skladan nagon ište mačem ognja duše brižne ljubav da mi trnu..."

Pa preskočio na drugu i "Vižljast dragulj harmonije sljubi potku ječma krune vihor štono se drznu ljubavi mojoj krnje hridi sure jošte..."

Sve neki intelektualci, fini, rukavičasti, visokočeoni...

I onda Ribafish piso kak je karal na plaži u Dubrovniku 1997...

Mamaaaa...

Nejdem nikam.

Još će me naterat da nešto kažem ili čitam,


By ribafish

a to uvijek ode kvragu.

Idem kod athenaair.blog.hr na sajam lokat i vređat joj hostese.

A nisam sinoć ni Gay Brother gledo.

Damn.

Ajde, konačno će bit seksa u GB kući!

Samo im Fešnguru fali pa da ga fešngurne nekom.

Vidio sam ga na rođendanu 24 sata, i živo me zanima što bi imao reć za ovu odjevnu kombinaciju.


By ribafish

Reklama za T-Mobile?

Ko onaj Pekabela sladoled, vodeni, voćni...

Jooooj, nije Tvini, nije Čoko-moko... Šarenko? Hilfeee!

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Autobus za Planicu je od sinoć - pun.

Ko je jamio, jamio.

Sorkač.

Iskipi mi graaaaaaaaaaaah!

Dršte fige.

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