Ptitchitza u niskom letu

Lemme tell ya something about Maria

Maria loves children. She adores them. You should see how she gets when there's a small child near-by, it's beautiful. There isn't a mother in this world who would not entrust her child to Maria.

Even though we were together only for three months (and it's been FOUR months now since we haven't been anywhere near each other), we have discussed having children together. Maria is seriously worried that she can not conceive any more, after having had two abortions and after last time she's had the spyral replaced it gotten somewhat messy. (None of you knows Maria, and there's so many Marias in the world, that's the only reason why I'm telling you any of this highly personal stuff.) We have agreed that if she cannot conceive, we will adopt a baby girl from Venezuela.

Since every day without Maria, I die a little bit more... I have decided with Maria or without, I will one day go to Venezuela and find her. If I can't find Maria, I'll find her sister or mother, even if I have to check all two million entries with her (very popular latin) family name in the phone book. Then I will go with any of them or alone to find a baby girl who will remind me most of Maria. And adopt her.

And I WILL make sure that she growns up happy and healthy. That she remains open and sincere but tough when she needs to be tough. That she believes in herself and that she never doubts herself or her brain.

When that baby Maria growns up, I can go. I will be loved then and then there will be reasons for me to be loved.

Until that happens I will have to try and make amends with a certain 12 year old boy whose parenting I was deprived of, for various reasons.