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Sayonara... All the beauty I thought I knew
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Pluta... Dodiruje dno, hladno kao led, ali kao da pluta, omamljena, gledajući vječnost iznad sebe.
Još jednom, izgubljena u nikad obujmljenom prostoru. Na podu od crnog mramora, koji se proteže daleko... Iza neshvatljivoga. Ne može se pomaknuti, dići s poda, ići dalje. Jednostavno lebdi. Ne da se dalekom zovu života.
Je li odustala?
Has she given up yet?
Tiho... Šulja se... Polagano se primiče... Tanka sjena. Lagano, bez zvuka, klekne pored mrvog, naočigled mrtvog tijela, ruku bačenih iznad glave, mrtvih, suhih očiju.
Polagano, tiho, sjena digne desnu ruku, ruku od paučine, i prođe njezinim licem, mekim i hladnim, nježno...
"...Itoshigo..." Lagane zelene oči duha koji kleči, ljudske prikaze, omekšaju, dok izgovori malenu riječ privrženosti.
Iznenada, njezine se mrtve oči napune suzama. Prsa se polagano dižu i spuštaju, suhe usne puštaju dah, malen i topao.
"Doushite..." Prošapće umorno biće. "Doushite, Haruka..." Riječi su joj zaglušene plačem, suzama, jecajima koji ne žele posustati.
"Shh..."
The tall shadow slips her hands on the girl's back, pulling her tightly in her arms.
"You have been so brave... So hurt so many times... So cold... So tired... Always open for people to pick in your insides mercilessly... And yet... You manage to smile." The shadow's bangs cover her eyes as she whispers into the girl's neck. "And so many beautiful dreams inside. You could soar widely in the sky, in the sun, you know. Always... imagining so many pretty things..."
"I cannot smile anymore," her weak voice echoes through the infinity. Her body is held tightly, and she grasps the shadow's clothes, not wanting to let her go.
"Drive her away," she whispers poisonously, gripping the shadow even more. "I cannot bear it... Any longer... Deceiving me... Hurting me... Lashing out on me... After... After promising me everything I ever desired..." Her body begins to shiver vehemently.
She slowly raises her head to look at the shadow's bright green eyes.
"Haruka..."
The shadow simply looked back at her, raising her hand to wipe the tears off of the pale face of the girl.
"You are the only one... Who has ever loved me. Who has ever cared. Who has comforted me when I was hurt the most... Held my hand... Took my burden when I needed it... Walked with me in peace of the snow... Danced with me..."
"It hurts to see you like this."
Silence took over. The girl let her head fall on the shadow's chest.
"I am all alone. It hurts to be alone. It hurts to be dying in the rain alone. I am a child. All I need... Is someone who loves me. And I love back. Nothing else. Nothing else to be happy...."
"Be alone." The shadow whispers sharply. "Be alone. Don't let anyone in. Only I know you. Don't let anyone else in. You won't be hurt, I promise. I'll drive everyone away. I'll protect your heart."
A little gasp escaped the girl's lips.
"Reality is calling you... Do not wait, Hime-chan. Give me your dreams. Give me your love. And I will lead them to paradise. Everything you've ever dreamed of, I'll take them there. And it will be now until eternity. Give yourself to me. Do it.... And then go back. Live as you should... And I will live your dreams, live your love. Give me your heart, and no one shall ever touch it. I will not let anyone near... Especially..." Her breath trailed on.
The shadow slowly stood up, and looked the girl on the floor, sitting and watching in fear.
"Do not be frightened, Kaihi-chan... You shall be protected. By the one who truly loves you. From the ones that don't."
The shadow offered her white hand to the girl on the floor.
Boku to odorou yo...
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Slowly, the girl put her hand in the shadow's, and the shadow pulled. The girl felt pulled off the floor, but yet stayed down... And what she saw next was beauty... An image of her, glistening... With eyes that shone magnificence, hair that danced around her face in unknown wind, body light as a feather and feet that danced with every move...
An image of herself... Beautified in every sense.
"Kimi no yume. Kimi no shiawase. Kimi no ai no subete."
Slowly from behind, the shadow slipped her arms around her. "I love you, Kaihi-chan. Go now... To the reality."
"But... How can I...! Without your only comfort! And my dreams..."
"Your dreams are safe. Go... And be... one of many. "
She sat on and watched the shadow as it got in a convertible, at the driver's seat. Next to her was the fairy, the goddess that was her dreams and love. And they drove of in the night, on a road leading to nowhere, with the wind playing with their hair, silence between them telling everything.
And she understood.
Maybe tonight, we'll fly so far away. We'll be lost before the dawn...
Post je objavljen 13.01.2008. u 19:01 sati.
