MOJA BRNJICA https://blog.dnevnik.hr/pegula1

ponedjeljak, 08.10.2007.

right by her side!

I love my mama.So simple the words and yet,all of the essence of me poured into them.This disease tought me love like no other,ever in my life!It's watching her helpless and dependant and childlike.I am mothering mother and it can be a headspinning experience...it is.I feed her,bathe her,change her...watch her every move,listen to her breathing as she sleeps...Alzheimer has thought me the real meening of loving another.I have learned the meening of a memory,how darn priceless the memories are.It has thought me to know how truly blessed we are to have little things like the abbility to walk,talk,swallow food and water,even to breathe.I love my mama so.Love her for the strong,gentle woman she used to be,love her for the love she has always given me.Love her for the true friend she has been to me all my life.I love her for the need she has of me now.It is this love that gives me strenght to endure the harsh reality that is Alzheimer's.It is this love for her that will get me through eventually,when the day comes to say goodbye.I am counting on it with all my heart because,lately,I have seen many fall under the weight of this disease, leaving their loved ones heartbroken.I pray I will feel the love when time comes,rather than giult I did something wrong for her to have left me.I am doing my best,and know it would never be enough to keep her.I pray to come to peace with it.I know she is leaving me a little each day.So I am holding on to a hope that I am making her pain more bareable,her fears less frightening,her darkness a little brighter,her disscomfort a little eazier.And I treassure each moment I have had with her and each we have yet to share.I know that if there's a heaven above waiting for her,and I pray there is,once she getts there,she will be whole again!And she'll look down on me and smile and she'll be my guardian angel,bestoving her love upon me like a soft cloak,I know I shall always feel her presence and love.It is the love between a mother and a child,a bond stronger than any force on this earth.I wish everyone would know this love,where you give,and do for others,and expect nothing.It has made me a better person.I hate Alzheimer's so much for robbing my mother of her memories and her life,her human dignety.I pray for the cure,so noone must go through this again.It is a long and sad and heartbreaking road to travel.But it is the one she will not travel alone.I am holding her hand,so she doesn't get lost and be scared.And I go beside her.It is with love I do it all and I feel honored and blessed to be able to.Because I love my mama.Such a simple frase...

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