Ja sam cvijet u tvojoj kosi, pusti vjetru nek me nosi... laticama dišem.. mirisom mirišem.. pogled proljetni nemilosrdno ti sišem...

Kad bih bio rječit.. kad bih mogao strancu barem reći.. ono.. što ne govorim niti sebi... kad bih znao sve riječi svijeta.. ne bi se moglo njim opisati... tu jednu riječ... a o kojoj zapravo govorim???

- Koga najvoliš, zagonetni čovječe, Oca ili majku, sestru ili brata?
- Nemam ni oca ni majke, ni sestre ni brata.
- A prijatelji?
- Do dana današnjega nisam upoznao smisao ove riječi.
- A domaja?
- Ne znam, pod kojom je širinom smještena.
- Ljepota?
- Rado bih je volio, da je besmrtna božica.
- Zlato?
- Mrzim ga kao što vi mrzite Boga.
- Pa što onda voliš, neobični stranče?
- Volim oblake....... oblake, što prolaze...... ondje...... divne oblake!
Charles Baudelaire


.............................. ..
Dopustite da napišem baladu o strancu.. balada... bit će ukrašena elementima biografije.. malene stvarnosti, velike pretpostavke... ma.. neću unaprijed navoditi opis... pročitajte pretpostavke.. pa odgonetnite.. radi li se o stvarnosti..ili su stvarno pretpostavke... a možda je samo opis... tko zna...opis koji pretpostavlja stvarnost...ili opis stvarnosti koji navodi pretpostavke....

...
Davno se to dogodilo.. još nije ni bilo svijeta... još se nije znalo što je to čovjek...
nisu se postavljala pitanja o smrti, i nije se živio život..nije bilo ničega.. ničega osim.. dva bića.. nisu bili ljudi.. nisu bili ni životinje.. nisu bili ni stanice, ni organizmi, ni biljke..bili su bića.. koja nisu poznavala ništa osim sebe samih.. a bilo ih je samo dvoje..... ... ... ... .... . .....
Bili su privrženi jedno drugome.. više nego bilo koji čovjek danas drugom čovjeku.. čak bi se to moglo nazvati imenom kojim mi danas oslovljavamo ljubav..ali nije bila ljubav.. navodim to jer to pobliže označava njihov odnos..
Živjeli su zajedno.. ali vidite.. riječ živjeti pobliže označava danas taj njihov odnos.. možda bi bolje bilo reći da su stanovali jedno u drugome.. ali bilo ih je dvoje...ne zaboravite to... dvoje no ipak jedno..
Dijelila ih je misao.. ako se to tako može nazvati...jer su oni to nazivali drugačije.. nazivali su to ''ljubav''....
Oni nisu imali stajališta... nisu imali načela.. i pokoravali su se jedno drugome.. klanjali se...oni su ljubili stopala jedno drugome.. i nikada se nisu nazivali imenima.... pisali su samo na jedan način.. pogledima... i koristili samo jednu riječ... ali svakim činom i svakom mišlju ta je riječ značila nešto drugo.. i izgovarajući svak put istu riječ.. u drugoj prilici. uvijek su razumijeli što znači.. nazivali su sebe tom riječju.. dozivali se.. klanjali... mrštili se.. čak i vrijeđali...ljubili se tom riječju.. i ništa drugo nije postojalo.. samo oni i ta riječ...i sanjali su.. kao i mi danas..
.............................. . . . . . ... . . . . . . ......................................... . . . . . . ... ..
Neke se stvari ne mogu opisati riječima.. i oni su to znali.. koristili su zato poglede... bili su drugačiji.. a opet toliko jednaki današnjem svijetu...ali znali su jednu stvar..
znali su upriličiti tu riječ po kojoj, s kojom, uz koju, u kojoj su živjeli...
samo to su znali.. i ništa više.. i ništa im nije nedostajalo...
Nije im trebao novac da bi nekome platili da im izrazi ono što ta riječ znači...
nisu imali televizore da bi gledali kako ta riječ izgleda kada ju netko drugi koristi..
bilo je dovoljno da oni znaju što ona znači.. a značila je sve...

..... . . . . .
prolazilo je vrijeme.. a oni nisu starjeli kao mi danas.. ne...
bivali su sve mlađi.. sve puniji.. sve ljepši.. iako tada nije bilo pojmova kao: godine.... praznina, ljepota.. samo ta jedna jedina riječ...mogla je izraziti sve to...
jedini strah... taj osjećaj koji im je bio stran nastupio je pojavom novog bića.. nove jedinke... novog ''života'' koji je nastupio... jer je tako moralo biti.... a razlozi nisu bili poznati.. niti danas nisu...
to je biće bilo oslovljavano imenom.. koje je imalo isti korijen riječi kao i ona jedna riječ koju su oni dvoje koristili.. oduvijek.. i samo nju znali... ovo je biće nosilo ime ''ljub....omora''....
netko ju je poslao. ne zna se tko...
dva bića.. nepoznata... postadoše stranci.. ....

Za njih je počeo novi vijek.. nov život.. no sada.. sada je ta riječ gubila značenje... znakovi promjene... velike promjene bili su sada već očiti....
počeli su starjeti... postajati prazni...a ono što bi trebalo značiti ''ljepota'' blijedjelo je... polagano.. ali sigurno... riječ se koristila još uvijek.. no jedini razlog tome je bio što niti jednu drugu nisu poznavali.. samo nju.. samo tu jednu jedinu riječ.. koja je prije značila sve.. i razumjeli su je u svakoj situaciji.. a sada...sada više nije značila ništa.. jedno bi biće reklo... drugo ne bi ni čulo.. drugo bi pogledalo tom riječju.. prvo bi tada sklopilo oči... .. . . . . . ...... . . . . . . ..

Godine su prolazile.... bića su ostarjela.. i poružnjela... postala prazna.. potpuno....
Svako je potajno ljubovalo s neprijateljem ne bi li naudilo ovom drugom...
a to biće.. taj nakazno stvoren život... taj... ''LJUBomora''
koji se izdavao za dobročinitelja.. za pozitivu... samo je svojim čulima smišljao način ne bi li još dalje polarizirao svako biće...
Još nedavno.. bilo ih je dvoje.. i jedna duša...
Sada.. sad su troje.... i dvije duše...
Pomoći nije više bilo.. riječ se prestala izgovarati... prestala se pojavljivati... prestala je dolaziti... umrla je... postala je zaboravom.. samo još jedna prazna kutijica uspomena.. samo još jedan uklesan spomenik... tek toliko... da se ponekad netko sjeti da je postojala....
i tada....
tada.. nakon te tragedije...bića su nestala... sakrila se... jedno je uvidjelo da se moraju skriti..i povuklo drugo na osamu... i nitko ih nikada više nije vidio...
preživjeli su tako.. tko zna koliko...

Tada su se pojavili ljudi.....
... . . . . .............. . ... ... . ......... ... . . . . . ...... . . . . . ... . . ..................... ...
počeli su svoj život.. počeli su živjeti.. starjeti.. postajati prazni.. živa plastika... premalo cvijeća...
a bića...
Još ih ponekad sretnem...
ali jako rijetko....
vjerujte mi..
jako rijetko....
vidim ih...... (otkrit ću vam.. ali... psssssst!!)
... . . . . . . . ....................... . . .... . . . . . . ....
Nastane se još oni.... da,.... u pokojem zaljubljenom paru.. kojima riječ.. ta riječ.. koju su ta dva bića znala živjeti i govoriti pogledima..... u njima ta riječ živi.. i prepoznajem ih...
pogledom jedno drugome dokazuju tu riječ.. pogledom ju čine.. i ponekad se isto čini.. kao da samo tu riječ znaju....
sada znate gdje su....
Kada bi se samo okanili onoga nametnika.. koji je natjerao bića da postanu dvoje... umjesti jednog...
samo ga pregazili.. koji puta prešli preko njega....
..... . . . .
Bića bi bila u svakome od nas...
kako znam...
ne pitajte... jer ne znam...


Jesam li spomenula da bića nisu znala što je odjeća.. što je novac.. što je dobar glas... što je ugled.... što je materijalno stanje.. što je ponašanje.. što je velika kuća.. što je dobro tijelo... što su bijele cipele a što starke..... jesam li to spomenula...?
...
,...
...jedino što su znali.. je bila ta riječ.. i njome su činili sve...


znamo li mi danas.,.... koja je to riječ..?
stvarno.. pitam se....
???
.... .. . .. . .. . . ...................
..
-..... . . . . . . . . . .. . . .. .. . . ...... . . .



Kada bih bio biće,
dovoljno bogato i lijepo,
bio bih sebi netko,
bio bih čovjek!

Kada bih volio,
a ne nabacivao se riječima,
kada bih bio gol,
bio bih sudbina...

Kada bih volio,
kad bih se zaljubio,
postao bih biće,
ljudski život zaboravio....

Kada bih bio biće,
i kad bih volio,
kad bih znao koja je to riječ,
čovjek više ne bih bio..

Pozdravio bih se,
s bogatstvom i ljepotom,
imati kraj sebe nju,
smatrao bih najvećom vrednotom...

volio bih ..
volio...
kad čovjek ne bih bio...

02.11.2007. u 16:32 | 3 Komentara | Print | # | ^

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Studeni 2007 (3)
Listopad 2007 (8)

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ni dan nije zapravo noc,... ni jutro nije zapravo mrak... ni ja zapravo nisam... ja,
ali imam se... valjda imam, dovoljno sebe da mogu reci.... ja sam!!

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Crvena Jabuka
Ne dam da ovaj osjećaj ode

Napravljen sam od samoće
znam čudna sam nevolja
koja dođe i ode kad hoće
a ti si čekati umjela
I neka pjesma sama poteče
nježna i divlja u isti mah
haljinu skini ugasi svijeće
s usana mi odnesi dah
Ne dam da ovaj osjećaj ode
negdje u meni tvoj je znak
i pramen vatre i kap vode
ti si svjetlo sve je mrak
Subota uveče čaša vina
i tvoja soba svijeta kraj
vraćam se lud iz nekih daljina
u oči mi pogledaj
Kroz prozor ulaze svjetla grada.....
....
..
..
..
....
.....





Aerodrom
24 Sata

Priznajem, griješio sam bas kao i svi
Znam da sam prepun mana, ali vjeruj mi
Moja ljubav oduvijek je bila
Čista i tebe dostojna.

Zbog nje sam bio spreman se pokoriti
I protiv razuma se onda boriti
I napustit svoje staro društvo
Tebi je bilo svejedno.

Ti nikad nisi saznala
Koliko mi je do tebe stalo
Dvadeset i četri sata dnevno
S tobom je bilo premalo.

Ti uvijek imaš pravo se potužiti
Možda su ti drugi mogli vise pružiti
Ali, vjeruj, kunem ti se
Nikad nisam za cijenu pitao.

Koliko sam puta te na kiši cekao
Kasnila si sate, nisam ništa rekao
Za tebe sam htio sve na svijetu
Tebi je bilo svejedno.

Ti nikad nisi saznala
Koliko mi je do tebe stalo
Dvadeset i četri sata dnevno
S tobom je bilo premalo.

Pat Benatar
Love is a battle field

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield
We are strong, no one can tell us were wrong
Searchin our hearts for so long, both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield
Youre beggin me to go, youre makin me stay
Why do you hurt me so bad?
It would help me to know
Do I stand in your way, or am I the best thing youve had?
Believe me, believe me, I cant tell you why
But Im trapped by your love, and Im chained to your side

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield

We are strong, no one can tell us were wrong
Searchin our hearts for so long, both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield

Were losing control
Will you turn me away or touch me deep inside?
And before this gets old, will it still feel the same?
Theres no way this will die
But if we get much closer, I could lose control
And if your heart surrenders, youll need me to hold

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield

We are strong, no one can tell us were wrong
Searchin our hearts for so long, both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield

We are young, heartache to heartache we stand
No promises, no demands
Love is a battlefield

We are strong, no one can tell us were wrong
Searchin our hearts for so long, both of us knowing
Love is a battlefield




18 And Life
Skid row


Ricky was a young boy, He had a heart of stone.
Lived 9 to 5 and worked his fingers to the bone.
Just barely got out of school, came from the edge of town.
Fought like a switchblade so no one could take him down.
He had no money, oooh no good at home.
He walked the streets a soldier and he fought the world alone
And now it's

18 and life You got it
18 and life you know
Your crime is time and it's
18 and life to go
[repeat above]

Tequila in his heartbeat, His veins burned gasoline.
It kept his motor running but it never kept him clean.
They say he loved adventure, "Ricky's the wild one."
He married trouble and had a courtship with a gun.
Bang Bang Shoot 'em up, The party never ends.
You can't think of dying when the bottle's your best friend
And now it's

18 and life You got it
18 and life You know
Your crime is time and it's
18 and life to go..

"Accidents will happen" they all heard Ricky say
He fired his six-shot to the wind - that child blew a child away.
......



Blondie
Heart of glass

Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Much mistrust, love’s gone behind
Once I had a love and it was divine
Soon found out I was losing my mind
It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind
Much mistrust, love’s gone behind
In between
What I find is pleasing and I’m feeling fine
Love is so confusing there’s no peace of mind
If I fear I’m losing you it’s just no good
You teasing like you do
Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out had a heart of glass
Seemed like the real thing, only to find
Much mistrust, love’s gone behind
Once I had a love and it was divine
Soon found out I was losing my mind
It seemed like the real thing but I was so blind
Much mistrust, love’s gone behind
Lost inside
Adorable illusion and I cannot hide
I’m the one you’re using, please don’t push me aside
We could've made it cruising, yeah
Yeah, riding high on love’s true bluish light
Once I had a love and it was a gas
Soon turned out to be a pain in the ass
Seemed like the real thing only to find
Mucho mistrust, love’s gone behind...

THE DOORS
ALABAMA SONG(WHISKEY BAR)

Well, show me the way
To the next whiskey bar
Oh, don't ask why
Oh, don't ask why

Show me the way
To the next whiskey bar
Oh, don't ask why
Oh, don't ask why

For if we don't find
The next whiskey bar
I tell you we must die
I tell you we must die
I tell you, I tell you
I tell you we must die

Oh, moon of Alabama
We now must say goodbye
We've lost our good old mama
And must have whiskey, oh, you now why

Oh, moon of Alabama
We now must say goodbye
We've lost our good old mama
And must have whiskey, oh, you now why

Well, show me the way
To the next little girl
Oh, don't ask why
Oh, don't ask why

Show me the way
To the next little girl
Oh, don't ask why
Oh, don't ask why

For if we don't find
The next little girl
I tell you we must die
I tell you we must die
I tell you, I tell you
I tell you we must die

Oh, moon of Alabama
We now must say goodbye
We've lost our good old mama
And must have whiskey, oh, you now why.......


THE DOORS
CELEBRATION OF THE LIZARD


Lions in the street and roaming
Dogs in heat, rabid, foaming
A beast caged in the heart of a city
The body of his mother
Rotting in the summer ground
He fled the town

He went down South and crossed the border
Left chaos and disorder
Back there over his shoulder

One morning he awoke in a green hotel
With a strange creature groaning beside him
Sweat oozed from its shining skin
is everybody in?
is everybody in?
is everybody in?
the ceremony is about to begin


Wake up!
You can't remember where it was
Had this dream stopped?

The snake was pale gold
Glazed and shrunken
We were afraid to touch it
The sheets were hot dead prisms
And she was beside me
Old, she's no, young
Her dark red hair
the white soft skin

Now, run to the mirror in the bathroom
Look!
shes coming in here
I can't live thru each slow century of her moving
I let my cheek slide down
The cool smooth tile
Feel the good cold stinging blood
The smooth hissing snakes of rain . . .

Once I had, a little game
I liked to crawl, back in my brain
I think you know, the game I mean
I mean the game, called 'go insane'

you should try, this little game
Just close your eyes, forget your name
Forget the world, forget the people
And we'll erect, a different steeple

This little game, is fun to do
Just close your eyes, no way to lose
And I'm right there, I'm going too
Release control, we're breaking thru

Way back deep into the brain
Back where there's never any pain
And the rain falls gently on the town
And over the heads of all of us
And in the labyrinth of streams
Beneath, the quiet unearthly presence of
gentle hill dwellers, in the gentle hills around
Reptiles abounding
Fossils, caves, cool air heights

Each house repeats a mold
Windows rolled
Beast car locked in against morning
All now sleeping
Rugs silent, mirrors vacant
Dust Lying under the beds of lawful couples
Wound in sheets
And daughters, smug
With semen eyes in their nipples

Wait
There's been a slaughter here

(Don't stop to speak or look around
Your gloves and fan are on the ground
We're getting out of town
We're going on the run
And you're the one I want to come)

Not to touch the earth
Not to see the sun
Nothing left to do, but
Run, run, run
Let's run
lets run

House upon the hill
Moon is lying still
Shadows of the trees
Witnessing the wild breeze
C'mon baby run with me
Let's run

Run with me
Run with me
Run with me
Let's run

The mansion is warm, at the top of the hill
Rich are the rooms and the comforts there
Red are the arms of luxuriant chairs
And you won't know a thing till you get inside

Dead president's corpse in the driver's car
The engine runs on glue and tar
C'mon along, we're not going very far
To the East to meet the Czar

run with me
run with me
run with me
let's run

Some outlaws lived by the side of the lake
The minister's daughter's in love with the snake
Who lives in a well by the side of the road
Wake up, girl! We're almost home

We should see the gates by mornin'
We should be inside by evening,

sun sun sun
burn burn burn
burn, burn, burn,
i will get you
soon,
soon,
soon

i am the lizard king
i can do anything

We came down
The rivers and highways
We came down from
Forests and falls

We came down from
Carson and Springfield
We came down from
Phoenix enthralled
And I can tell you
The names of the Kingdom
I can tell you
The things that you know
Listening for a fistful of silence
Climbing valleys into the shade

for seven years, i dwelt
in the loose palace of exile
playing strange games with the girls of the island
now, i have come again
to the land of the fair, and the strong, and the wise
brothers and sisters of the pale forest
children of night
who among you will run with the hunt?
now night arives with her purple legion
Retire now to your tents and to your dreams
Tomorrow we enter the town of my birth
I want to be ready'


THE DOORS
HOUR FOR MAGIC

resident mockery
give us an hour for magic
We of the purple glove
We of the starling light and velvet hour
We of the Arabic pleasure's breed
We of the sundome and the night give us greed
To believe
A night of Lust
Give us trust in
The Night
Give of color
hundred huies
a rich mandala
for me and you
and your silky
pillowed house
a head, wisdom
and a bed
Troubled decree
Resident mockery
has claimed thee
We used to believe
in the good old days
We still receive
In little ways
The things of Kindness
and unsporting brow
Forget and allow
Did you know freedom exists in a school book
Did you know madmen are running our prison
within a jail, within a gaol
within a white protestant
maelstrom
We're perched headlong on the edge of boredom
We're racing for death on the end of a candle
We're trying for something
That's already found us....


Jefferson Airplane
And I like it

This is my life
I'm satisfied
So watch it
Don't try to keep me tied
So why not
Let me be satisfied
This is my life
This is my Way
This is my time
This is my dream
You know i like it
This is my Way
It suits me fine
So watch it doing
Or i leave you behind
So why not
Fit your life in with mine
This is my way
This is my time
This is my dream
This is my life
You know i like it
I like it
Now tell me what you see
Is it the same thing you want me to be
I've seen it all happen so long before
Please believe when i say it's a bore
I need more
I need more
I need more more
This is my time
I'm doing my best
So watch it
Ain't gonna be like the rest, no
So why not
Get away from the mass
This is my time
This is my Dream
This is my way
This is my life
You know i like it
I like it
You know it's mine...

Janis Joplin
Easy rider

Hey mama, mama, come a look at sister,
She's a-standing on the levee trying to do that twist,
But easy rider don't you deny my name,
Oh no, oh no.
Well, I got a girl with a diamond ring,
I'll tell you, boys, she knows how to shake that thing.
Oh! Easy rider don't you deny my name,
Oh no, oh no.
Play it!
Well, I got a horse and he lives in a tree,
He watches Huckleberry Hound on his TV.
But easy rider don't you deny my name,
Oh no, oh no.
I would buy you a plastic suit
And I would even buy you some cardboard fruit.
Oh! But easy rider don't you deny my name,
Oh no, oh no.
Yeah, easy rider, don't you deny my name, pretty baby doll
I said, easy rider, don't you deny my name, pretty baby doll
I said, easy rider, don't you deny my name, pretty baby doll
I said, easy rider, don't you deny my name, pretty baby ...

Simon and Garfunkel
The sound of silence


Hello, darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision
That was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
Beneath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed
By the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
[The Sound Of Silence lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]

People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share...
And no one dare
Disturb the sound of silence.

"Fools," said I, "you do not know
Silence like a cancer grows."
"Hear my words that I might teach you,
Take my arms that I might reach you."
But my words like silent raindrops fell,
And echoed in the wells of silence.

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made.
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming.
And the signs said: "The words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls,
And whispered the sound of silence."