so happy birthday... (6:24, Laurie Anderson, Talk Normal: The Laurie Anderson Anthology (Disc 1), 2000)
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It was a dark and stormy night. Jučer je mom blogu bio prvi rođendan. Iako je vrijeme za neke osvrte na prošla pisanja ili barem za statistike nisam stigao prevrtiti postove, a statistika mi se čini bedastom. U petak 29.og srpnja bio je sysadmin day. Imam link na genijalni video vezan za to: http://www.deadtroll.com/index2.html?/sysadmin/sysswf.html~content. Vjerujte mi morate tamo svratiti i vidjeti taj spot. In other news: prije neki dan je završen natječaj za "worst opening in literature". Kako je neprecizno to bilo preneseno u medijima ne radi se o najgorem paragrafu u literaturi u protekloj godini nego govorimo o najgorem početnom paragrafu neke knjige. Pobjednike svih kategorija, poneke runner-ups ali i dishonorable mentions možete pronaći ovdje. A moja selekcija slijedi: It was high noon in the jungles of South India when I began to recognize that if we didn't find water for our emus soon, it wouldn't be long before we would be traveling by foot; and with the guerilla warriors fast on our heals, I was starting to regret my decision to use poultry for transportation. The woods were all a-twitter with rumors that the Seven Dwarves were planning a live reunion after their attempted solo careers had dismally sputtered into Z-list oblivion and it was all just a matter of meeting a ten-page list of outlandish demands (including 700-threadcount Egyptian cotton bedsheets, lots of white lilies and a separate trailer for the magic talking mirror) to get the Princess Formerly Known As Snow White on board. When Mr Bilbo Baggins of Bag End announced that he would shortly be celebrating his eleventy-first birthday, his children packed his bags and drove him to Golden Pastures retirement complex just off Interstate 95. It was a dark and stormy night, although technically it wasn't black or anything -- more of a gravy color like the spine of the 1969 Scribner's Sons edition of "A Farewell to Arms," and, truth be told, the storm didn't sound any more fierce than the opening to Leon Russell's 1975 classic, "Back to the Island." "Why does every task in the Realm of Zithanor have to be a quest?" Baldak of Erthorn, handyman to the Great Wizard Zarthon, asked rhetorically as he began his journey began to find the Holy Hammer of Taloria and the Sacred Nail of Ikthillia so Baldak could hang one of Zarthon's mediocre watercolors, which was an art critique Baldak kept to himself unlike his predecessor, whom Zarthon turned into the Picture Frame of Torathank. The dragon cast his wet, rheumy eyes, heavy-lidded with misery, over his kingdom-a malodorous, rot-ridden swamp, with moss cloaking brooding, gloomy cypresses, tree trunks like decayed teeth rising from stagnant ponds, creatures with mildewed fur and scales whom the meanest roadside zoo would have rejected--and hoped the antidepressants would kick in soon. Long, long ago in a galaxy far away, in General Hospital born I was, and quite happy were my parents, but when a youngling still I was, moved we did. Derwin Thoryndike vowed to place a 14-carat engagement ring on the finger of Glenda-Sue Ellington, so now all he had to do was save up enough money to buy the ring, get it inscribed, and then locate a person named Glenda-Sue Ellington and convince her to marry him. Misao dana: Long, long ago in a galaxy far away, in General Hospital born I was, and quite happy were my parents, but when a youngling still I was, moved we did. |
