objašnjenje :)
svi me tjeraju da napišem novi post, a ja nikako nemam inspiracije.. mislim, imam nešto, ali ako opet počnem o tome kako sam sretna, mislit ćete da sam na travi svaki put kad uđem u blog editor. pa, neznam koliko je to pametno, ali malo bih se htjela osvrnuti na neke stvari.. svi koji me duže vrijeme čitaju sjećaju se kakve sam faze sve prolazila, koliko sam pesimistična bila i tome slično. ali čini se da sam šta se nekih stvari tiče mišljenja promijenila u korijenu. Moja često izgovarana rečenica: sreća ne postoji. oko toga još uvijek imam neke dvojbe, sve ovisi o tome šta je za koga sreća. ako netko kaže da je sretan jer ima puno love, 100-tinjak fensi majica, 50 pari hlača i 40 pari skupih dizajnerskih cipela, okej, ta osoba misli da je sretna, ali u biti nije, samo si s novcem pokušava zamijeniti ono šta joj doista treba u životu. ja osobno žalim takve ljude. ja sam si prije postavljala neke ciljeve za sreću koji su mi bili nedostižni. znate ono, kad očajnički želite samo jednu stvar koju ne možete imati.. šta nije onda bolje odustati od toga ako vas sama težnja za tim čini nesretnima, koliko god vam bilo stalo do toga? neznam. valjda je. istina, na mene su utjecale i neke druge stvari zbog kojih nisam mogla biti sretna, ali kad je to doslo do faze neizdržljivosti, jednostavno sam prestala razmišljati o svemu šta me činilo nesretnom, zaključala sam ta vrata i rekla sama sebi: danas krećem ispočetka. nema više prošlosti.
u početku je malo bilo teško, još su me mučile neke stvari koje nisam mogla riješit sama sa sobom. npr. moj strah od ponavljanja pogreški. jednom sam napravila jednu grešku, i bilo mi je jako teško nositi se s tim. i mislila sam si, ako se to još jednom desi, neznam kako ću moći živjet s tim. gledano sa strane, ta je pogreška bila gotovo pa banalna. ali za osobu kao šta sam ja, koja je toliko bila nesigurna u sebe..
e, onda sam skužila da mogu cijeli život bježati od nečeg umjesto da se suočim s tim, ali da to nigdje ne vodi.. jer samo jednom se živi i trebamo radit ono šta želimo bez obzira na to šta će drugi mislit. i onda mi je krenulo . naravno, bilo je puno lakše jer su uz mene bile neke određene osobe koje su u pravom trenutku znale reć pravu stvar i tjerale me da konačno počnem živjet.
i, sad se moje mišljenje u vezi puno toga jako promijenilo. nije bitno koliko pogreški napraviš, mislim pa valjda je ljudski griješiti! samo je bitno da se nešto iz toga nauči. i treba živjeti punim plućima jer svaki dan nam može bit posljednji, a nećemo valjda dopustiti da iza nas ostanu neriješene stvari?
na kraju, najdraže mi je kad se danas sjetim neke situacije iz prošlosti koja me uvijek znala bacit u bed. znate sta danas napravim? nasmješim se i kažem sama sebi: to je prošlost, a ja živim u sadašnjosti. i milijun puta mi je bolje ovako nego onako.
možda ovaj post zvuči nekako malo, hm, kako da kažem, tužan ili šta ja znam, neznam kako da se izrazim.. ali nije takav. niti sam ja tužna. niti me lovi nostalgija za prošlosti. ovim postom sam samo htjela malo objasniti ovu veliku promjenu koja se u zadnjih mjesec i pol desila na meni. a i shvatila sam još nešto. otkad sam se ponovo počela smijati, ljudi me gledaju na drukčiji način. oni koji su me prije pozdravljali reda radi, sada kad me vide rastegnu osmijeh od uha do uha 
.. hahah, i to se desi. a da, ne bi to bilo to da ne kazem nesto o ljudima iz razreda (onaj dio koji bas ne podnosim). mislim da su me konačno odlučili pustit na miru jer su skužili da me ni najmanje ne dira sta god da naprave. ionako se po cijele dane samo smijem pa se ne stignem ni sjetit na njih. mozda misle da sad zivim u nekom svom svijetu, hahah 
ljudi, neznam po koji put to govorim, ali sad sam stvarno hepi i nitko mi ništa ne može.. koliko će trajati, neznam i niti se ne zamaram s tim..
i jos nesto.. obecavam da ce uskoro biti novi post, vjerojatno neka bolesna pricica(pisanje toga mi uzasno dobro ide), samo me treba udarit inspiracija..
28.04.2007. u 16:49 |
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Opis bloga
Bas moram pisati taj opis bloga? Dobro, pa... Blog ce, buduci da ga ne pise nitko pametan, biti pun gluposti, mozda mi izleti koja pametna, ali tesko...
jedna od meni najdrazih:
Sleeping Sun
The sun is sleeping quietly
Once upon a century
Wistful oceans calm and red
Ardent caresses laid to rest
For my dreams I hold my life
For wishes I behold my night
The truth at the end of time
Losing faith makes a crime
I wish for this night-time
to last for a lifetime
The darkness around me
Shores of a solar sea
Oh how I wish to go down with the sun
Sleeping
Weeping
With you
Sorrow has a human heart
From my god it will depart
I'd sail before a thousand moons
Never finding where to go
Two hundred twenty-two days of light
Will be desired by a night
A moment for the poet's play
Until there's nothing left to say
I wish for this night-time...
I wish for this night-time...
brojac od 10.6.2006.
MOJ BIJELI LABUDE
I bas me briga
ko te nocas vozi kuci,
briga me
I ako si i sretna ko sto kazes,
mada znam da lazes
sve to ubija me
Hmmm, grlim hladne jastuke
hmmm, moj bijeli labude
I briga me sto nisi mjesec,
a ni sunce, briga me
al' neces moci preko
blatne kaljuze
cista stic' do moje postelje
Hmmm, grlim hladne jastuke
Ref. 2x
Moj bijeli labude
kad me jednom ne bude
sve ce vode, labude
da se razbistre
I bas me briga
ko te nocas vozi kuci,
briga me
I ako si i sretna ko sto kazes,
mada znam da lazes
sve to ubija me
Hmmm, grlim hladne jastuke
Ref. 4x
Ja sam samo jedna luda romanticna dusa kojoj nema spasa... sanjar do boli... ako se ikad promijenim, znaci da mi se nesto gadno desilo... jer nisam osoba koja je sposobna nosit masku...
White Night Fantasy
Enchantress came to me and said:
Meet me at the lake tonight
I hummed this song to the white
Through the shroud of snow I saw
Paradise
Peace
No more lies
Crestfallen soul
Rest for this night
Love is here
Right here under my wings
I dream of wolves with them I run
For me she lengthened the night
I am home
I am in peace
Crestfallen soul
Rest for this night
Love is here
Right here under my wings
Molim vas, pomozite Zeki!!!
(__/)
(O.o)
(> < )
Ovo je Gothik - Sado Mazo - Zeko. Kopirajte ga na svoj blog i tako mu pomognite na njegovom putu do World Domination!!!
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Naj blogovi:
:: marriana ::
Vedrana
Jelena
Marija
unforgettable lady
Amy
heretik
V4MP1R3
Bestia
panic queen
nivblf
ledena kraljica
..kaya..
cat
Lambalicious
Lakeisha
Broken Crystal Doll
honorina
Kika
Laura
Sara
Anita
pjesma za mene:
Papa Roach "Sometimes"
I'm dreamin about tomorrow, I'm thinkin of yesterday, I consume myself in sorrow this moment in time is what I betray, I
am searching for the answers
[Chorus]
I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause I don't know which way to go, I look around sometimes I get sad, 'Cause my life
is spinning out of control
I never know what you want, I never know what you need, it was different from the start, when you cut me in two I never
thought I would bleed, but I am searching for the answers
[Chorus]
I will go this alone I don't need nobody's help, I've got to do this myself, Alone, Alone, Alone, Alone
[Chorus x2]
LET 3 - Dijete u vremenu
Gledam u tuznu jesenju noc
s pokisle grane lisce otpada
u daljini cujem muziku neku
i pitam sebe, gdje li si sada
Ja svakog dana proklinjem sebe
zasto te drugom prepustih lako
pjevao sam pjesme, nad'o se boljem
i bezbroj puta uz gitaru plak'o
Ref.
Nisi me voljela u ono vrijeme
a ja sam zelio samo jedno
sad kada nismo mi mladi k'o nekada
dodji da ostarimo zajedno
Da li jos pamtis ljubavi moja
kako smo ruze zajedno brali
gdje li si sada mladosti moja
zasto su tebe od mene ukrali
Achtung, Achtung
ein animalischen sex
mit die zwei penzioneren
sport und elegantisch
Oder extravagantisch
atention, atention
für die grosse erektion
liebe Penis, liebe zwei
liebe sex abnormal
Nisi me voljela u ono vrijeme
a ja sam zelio samo jedno...
nisi me voljela u ono vrijeme
a ja sam zelio samo jedno
sad kada nismo mi mladi ko nekada
dodi da ostarimo zajedno...
EPICA Dance Of Fate
When darkness will reign and blind us all
When darkness will reign and blind us all
Allegiance will bind us if we do not fall
We cannot tell when morning comes
Is there a choice to live another day?
It's hard to find a new direction in your fragile life
The precious time of your existence is now to come
Don't throw your life away by cheating time
Sugared placebos only fool your mind
Now I want the water to wash away all my sins
The wind to blow away my thoughts without meaning
The fire to burn away my thickened skin
When darkness will reign and blind us all
Allegiance will bind us if we do not fall
Novas portas pandimus
What is this pace, the type of dance?
I cannot tell which steps I have to take
I'd like to leave, just run away
My feet are tangled up
So hard to face the pace of the clock
What do you think; will it ever stop?
So will I fall and not get up?
I take it all in stride
Now I want the water to wash away all my sins
The wind to blow away my thoughts without meaning
The fire to burn away my thickened skin
Everything has a reason for its happening
Can't you tell it's your own spell and
Everyone has to dance this dance like anyone
Can't break free of destiny
We should open new doors and
Close the ones that we've left behind
Now I want the water to wash away all my sins
The wind to blow away my thoughts without meaning
The fire to burn away my thickened skin
When darkness will reign and blind us all
Allegiance will bind us if we do not fall
Novas portas pandimus
Et post nos occludimus
Nightwish - Feel For You
You were my first love
The earth moving under me
Bedroom scent, beauty ardent
Distant shiver, heaven sent
I'm the snow on your lips
The freezing taste, the silvery sip
I'm the breath on your hair
The endless nightmare, devil's lair
Only so many times
I can say I long for you
The lily among the thorns
The prey among the wolves
Someday, I will feed a snake
Drink her venom, stay awake
With time all pain will fade
Through your memory I will wade
Barely cold in her grave
Barely warm in my bed
Settling for a draw tonight
Puppet girl, your strings are mine
This one is for you for you
Only for you
Just give in to it never think again
I feel for you
Nightwish - Dead Gardens
The story behind the painting I drew is already told
No more tearstains on the pages of my diary
Tired but unable to give up since I`m
Responsible for the lives I saved
The play is done
The curtain`s down
All the tales are told
All the orchids gone
Lost in my own world
Now I care for dead gardens
My song is little worth anymore
Time to lay this weary pen aside
The play is done
The curtain`s down
"Where are the wolves, the underwater moon
The elvenpath, the haven of youth
Lagoons of the starlit sea
Have I felt enough for one man`s deed?
Or is it time to challenge the Ancient of Days
And let the virgin conceive"
All the tales...
Cradle of filth - Nymphetamine
Lead to the river
Midsummer, I waved
A 'V'' of black swans
On with hope to the grave
All through Red September
With skies fire-paved
I begged you appear
Like a thorn for the holy ones
Cold was my soul
Untold was the pain
I faced when you left me
A rose in the rain
So I swore to the razor
That never, enchained
Would your dark nails of faith
Be pushed through my veins again
Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your lowliness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
Nymphetamine girl
Nymphetamine, nymphetamine
My nymphetamine girl
Wracked with your charm
I am circled like prey
Back in the forest
Where whispers persuade
More sugar trails
More white lady laid
Than pillars of salt
Fold to my arms
Hold their mesmeric sway
And dance her to the moon
As we did in those golden days
Christening stars
I remember the way
We were needle and spoon
Mislaid in the burning hay
Bared on your tomb
I'm a prayer for your loneliness
And would you ever soon
Come above unto me?
For once upon a time
From the binds of your holiness
I could always find
The right slot for your sacred key
Six feet deep is the incision
In my heart, that barless prison
Discolours all with tunnel vision
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine
Sick and weak from my condition
This lust, a vampyric addiction
To her alone in full submission
None better
Nymphetamine
Sunsetter
Nymphetamine (Nymphetamine)
None better
Nymphetamine
KORN - Thoughtless
Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
Pushing all the mercy down, down, down
I wanna see you try to take a swing at me
Come on, gonna put you on the ground, ground, ground
Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny?
What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying with your dirty ass in front of me
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
Thumbing through the pages of my fantasies
I'm above you, smiling at you, drown, drown, drown
I wanna kill and rape you the way you raped me
And I'll pull the trigger
And you're down, down, down
Why are you trying to make fun of me?
You think it's funny?
What the fuck you think it's doing to me?
You take your turn lashing out at me
I want you crying with your dirty ass in front of me
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
All my friends are gone, they died (gonna take you down)
They all screamed, and cried (gonna take you down)
I've got my body, got my body back against the wall
I've got my body, got my body back against the wall
Gonna take you down
[repeat 2x]
I've got my body, got my body back against the wall
I've got my body, got my body back against the...
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
All of my hate cannot be found
I will not be drowned by your thoughtless scheming
So you can try to tear me down
Beat me to the ground
I will see you screaming
Missing
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
Maybe someday you'll look up,
And, barely conscious, you'll say to no one:
"Isn't something missing?"
You won't cry for my absence, I know -
You forgot me long ago.
Am I that unimportant...?
Am I so insignificant...?
Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?
[Chorus:]
Even though I'm the sacrifice,
You won't try for me, not now.
Though I'd die to know you love me,
I'm all alone.
Isn't someone missing me?
Please, please forgive me,
But I won't be home again.
I know what you do to yourself,
I breathe deep and cry out,
"Isn't something missing?
Isn't someone missing me?"
[Chorus]
And if I bleed, I'll bleed,
Knowing you don't care.
And if I sleep just to dream of you
I'll wake without you there,
Isn't something missing?
Isn't something...
[Chorus]
