Nimitur in vetitum
četvrtak, 22.06.2006.
Vapaj iz nevolje
Nedjeljno jutro-probudim se u pola devet i vidim poruku na stolu: "ručak ti je u hladnjaku." Moja draga mama...ni volim te,ni vidimo se kasnije,ni doći ću u 10...ništa! Nema veze,naviknut sam na to! Skuham si neku bljutavu kavu i sjednem na terasu. Palim jednu za drugom i dopuštam jutarnjem suncu da se igra po mom blijedom licu. Kad odjednom...zazvoni telefon. Dok sam bezvoljno i tupo šetao prema njemu nisam puno razmišljao o tome tko je. Pa dobro se zna tko je...mamin dečko nije zato što je ona trenutno s njim,e onda je baka. Već spreman za njene priče koje otprilike uvijek zvuče isto: "Etiene dušo tvoja baka je! Znam da si opet sam doma..ti treba nešto?"(e pa da bako treba mi novi život!!!)I nakon što 15-ak minuta nabraja sve šta misli da mi treba počne srat: "Joj Etiene pa ti lijep dečko šta si ne ošišaš tu kosurinu,svuci tu crninu..." Uvijek joj sklopim. E kako sam je zajebo!!! Da sam znao tko je nebi se bio nikada javio. Nakon dugih 13 godina usudio se javiti MOJ TATA! Počo mi je davat neke jadne razloge zašto se tek sad javlja i kako me želi vidjet. Ponovo se doselio u grad i sad želi da se odjednom počnem družiti s njim i njegovom novom degeneričnom djecom! E pa odbijam! Imap sam pet godina kad se pokupio i moja stara se ubijala svaki dan da bismo imali kakav takav život...i danas nakon što je uspjela u tome i nakon što smo već zaboravili da on postoji-sotona se vratila! Mrzim ga i ne želim ga više nikada vidjeti! |
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- JA sam ovdje mračne duše
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prezirem ovaj odvratni svijet
A kad prođe tisuću godina, sotona će biti pušten iz svoje tamnice. Izići će da zavodi narode na četiri kraja zemlje-Goga i Magoga-da ih skupi za rat tako mnogobrojne kao pijesak morski.
Otkrivenje 20-7
look into the mirror of society
you will see a face that's signed by sins
the physionomy of a conscious cruelty
not touched by the fears of the innocent
who cry for help
end amen
end amen
end amen
saetia
God of lies,
Slaughter and sacrifice
We spit in his face
And laugh as we die
...Where life ends
Mother Christ -
Your son we crucified
On a path to hell -
We choose to live our lives
...Where life ends
Where is the gate
To heaven of glory bright?
Vanished in the dark,
Where is the promised light?
unleashed
Because it cuts so deep to see myself wishing upon melting stars
I cut the cord I finally give in...
Beyond visions of wretched smiles
And the dread that they've befriended
I have seen an end to you and I
(when did "we" begin)
And a warped sense of being that I embrace must exist
And we with whole hearts yet broken words
We dream of wisdom but I yearn only for you
You will destroy me with words that you have never spoken...
I've drawn a picture of us twisted within
Yet below this world I absorb life from portraits
As long as we remain abreast of one another we will never meet each other
As long as we whisper to one another we will never fully hear each other
As long as my eyelids are weighed down by desire and one dying wish
unleashed
- Two worlds are within me
They live together just as one
Giving the feeling of existing
And the means of ruling
I despise them both
Refusing to belong to something
As a dying slave
I have been reduced to nothing
Why do I still believe in this love?
This pathetic silly love
Selfish, coward and pitiless
This I've been
I believe in this love
Stronger by your treachery
Coward and pitiless
This is who I used to be
I feel human
Can't this love defeat you
You rule this world
And you pretend to set your people free
Leave me
Release me
Let me
Blossom for eternity
I'll show you the way
To free your soul
From these idols
Shall I reveal the truth
Or leave them in ignorance
These puppets want to be like you
And decide on their destiny
I despise them both
Refusing to belong to something
As a dying slave
I have been reduced to nothing
Your empire is but a shroud
By pure appearance
So deadly in the end
So morbid
So devastating
I believe in this love
Stronger by your treachery
Coward and pitiless
This is who I used to be
penumbra