~*Weathered*~

~*DREAMS- Edgar Allan Poe*~

In visions of the dark night
I have dreamed of joy departed-
But a waking dream of life and light
Hath left me broken-hearted.

Ah! what is not a dream by day
To him whose eyes are cast
On things around him with a ray
Turned back upon the past?

That holy dream- that holy dream,
While all the world were chiding,
Hath cheered me as a lovely beam
A lonely spirit guiding.

What though that light, thro' storm and night,
So trembled from afar-
What could there be more purely bright
In Truth's day-star?
This is truly a beautiful poem! I love Edgar Allan Poe <3

OK, so last night really sucked ass for all I can remember. I was so fucking drunk that I passed out at the football house. I have now decided that I am not drinking anymore.
I felt like shit, I looked like shit, and I didn't get to makeout with one of the hottest guys at St. Francis because he was too busy holding my hair back as I puked everywhere.
He took care of me which was nice, He stayed by my side all night until Carolina and Jess took me home. I passed out at least three times before I went to sleep.
I can't believe that I let myself get that bad. I don't ever want to drink like that again.
But I'm so fucking stupid because I say that all of the time and I always end up drinking that much or more all the time. I think I'm turning into an alcoholic. I need to stop. I feel like a pile of shit that's been stepped in like a million times today. I just want to die.
Carolina really doesn't want to go out tonight, but I'd like to go play a little pool and then come home at like 1:30 instead of 3 am.
Maybe, then I can talk to DJ (the hottest guy at St. Francis.) and I can apologize for my behavior. I had like fifty million messages on my phone from a bunch of my friends asking me if I was okay and telling me to come out and party with them tonight.
Which is kind of contradictory but you know, all my friends, well, almost all are alcoholics themselves. I think I might go and get some dinner with Carolina and the play a little pool and then come home and sleep. And then Sunday I will go to church. I need God really bad right now.And I know that its lent and I should be going to church every Sunday, which I don't anymore. Sadly.
I am so stressed, I guess that's why I feel the need to drink so much all of the time. And that is no way to relieve stress, because now I am only more stressed out because I feel like shit.

oh well.

This song is brought to you by the letter 'C':

Weathered-Creed <3
I lie awake on a long, dark night
I can’t seem to tame my mind
Slings and arrows are killing me inside
Maybe I can’t accept the life that’s mine
No I can’t accept the life that’s mine

Simple living is my desperate cry
Been trading love with indifference
yeah it suits me just fine
I try to hold on but I’m calloused to the bone
Maybe that’s why I feel alone
Maybe that’s why I feel so alone

Me…I’m rusted and weathered
Barely holding together
I’m covered with skin that peels and
it just won’t heal

The sun shines and I can’t avoid the light
I think I’m holding on to life too tight
Ashes to ashes and dust to dust
Sometimes I feel like giving up
Sometimes I feel like giving up

Me…I’m rusted and weathered
Barely holding together
I’m covered with skin that peels
and it just won’t heal

The day reminds me of you
The night hides your truth
The earth is a voice
Speaking to you
Take all this pride
And leave it behind
Because one day it ends
One day we die
Believe what you will
That is your right
But I choose to win
So I choose to fight
To fight