Evo dobila san ponešto pohvala o mome postu o rock glazbi...al i dobila san nečija mišljenja o tome kako mi je blog previše misaon...Sad se doma glupiran a oću da se i vi malo nasmijete pa evo van malo viceva za buđenje jer ipak je nedilja...ČAPLJA...
Vila rece bracnom paru - " Za uzoran brak od 35 godina, ispuniti cu
vam svakom po jednu želju" " Želim putovanje oko svjeta sa svojim najdražim mužicem"- rece žena Vila zamahnu svojim štapicem, i abrakadabra! - dvije karte se
stvoriše u njenoj ruci. I dode mužev red. On razmisli na trenutak i rece: "Dakle ovaj
trenutakje vrlo romantican, ali prilika kao ova se pruža samo jednom u životu.
Dakle... žao mi je moja ljubavi ali moja želja je da imam ženu 30 godina
mladu od mene". Žena je bila duboko razocarana ali, želja je želja. Vila zamahnu štapicem, i abrakadabra!...Odjednom muž postade star 90 godina...
Muškarci su možda pokvareni, ali Vile su ipak ........ ŽENE!!
Zašto je Severina izvadila 4 zuba ?
Da proširi poslovni prostor.
Na pocetku puta kroz africke države turisticki vodic objašnjava važne pojedinosti i iznosi pravila kojih se na putu treba pridržavati , pa uz ostalo kaže:
- Nemojte zaboraviti, gospodo, da u nekim krajevima 70% stanovništa boluje od side, a 30% ima tuberkulozu.
- O cemu ovaj tu prica - pita Štef prijatjelja Juru na kraju vodiceva izlaganja od kojeg gotovo ništa nije razumio. Ovaj mu odgovara:
- Ukratko, rekao je da smijemo ševiti samo one koji kašljaju.
Došla djeca kod Boga. Stigne prvi bijel i nedužan, a Bog ne zna šta ce s njim. Kaže mu Bog: -Evo ti krila pa budi andeo! Klinac sav sretan odleti. Dode tako i drugi i ista stvar. Nakon nekoliko stotina djece dode i mali crnac. Bog sav u cudu pogleda ga i rece: -Evo ti krila pa budi šišmiš!
Prije svoje prve mise jedan mladi svecenik bio je tako nervozan da nije mogao ni rijeci progovoriti pa upita biskupa za savjet...
Ovaj mu rece: "Popij cašu vode s 2 kapljice votke i odmah ceš se osjecati slobodnije."
Nakon što je primijenio recept, mladi se svecenik osjecao tako dobro da ga više ništa nije moglo uznemiriti. No, nakon povratka s mise, pronade poruku od biskupa...:
"Poštovani svecenice, sljedeci put stavite nekoliko kapljica votke u vodu, a ne obratno. Osim toga, evo još nekoliko savjeta kako se neki ispadi više ne bi ponovili:
1. Nije potrebno stavljati kriške limuna na rub pehara. 2. Ormar pored oltara je mjesto za ispovijed, a ne W.C.
3. Ne oslanjajte se više na statuu Blažene Djevice Marije, ne grlite ju više i ne ljubite.
4. Postoji 10 zapovjedi, a ne 12. Apostola je 12, a ne 7. Nijedan od nijh nije bio patuljak.
5. Isusa i njegove ucenike ne zovemo J.C. i kompanija 6. David je pobijedio Golijata prackom i kamenom. Nije ga umlatio i prosuo mu mozak.
7. Judu ne nazivamo kurvinim sinom.
8. Papu ne moramo nazivati El Padrino.
9. Bin Laden nema veze s Isusovom smrcu.
10. Sveta vodica je za posvecivanje, a ne da bi se osvježavali ispod pazuha.
11. Nikada se ne smijete tako moliti, da pri tome sjednete na stepenice ispred oltara i stavite nogu na Bibliju.
12. Hostija nije grickalica uz vino vec za vjernike.
13. Griješnici idu u pakao, a ne u p.m.
14. Poziv na ples nije loš, ali ne polka trceci kroz crkvu.
15. Onaj, u cošku pored kora, kojeg ste nazvali pederom, kontrašem i transvestitom u suknji, bio sam ja.
Nadam se da ce iduce nedelje ove greške biti ispravljene."
Dobila Marica prvu mjesecnicu, uplašila se, a nigdje nikog da pita što je to.
Tata radi, mama na frizuri, kud ce nego prvom susjedu Ivici...
Gleda Ivica, gleda i zakljuci:
- Marice, ja ti nisam neki strucnjak, ali kak' se meni cini, tebi su odrezali pimpeka!
Došao mucavac kuci i pod prozorom nade mrtvog konja. Brže bolje uzme telefon i nazove komunalno:
- dddddoooob...bar veec...er, jelli kommmunalno?
- jest - odgovori glas s druge strane - kako vam mogu pomoci?
- maaa, cuj.... ujte, issspod mo.. mo.. mo.. mog
prooozora je mrtav kkkk konj, tttrebbalo bi ggga od..od.. odnijet!
- dobro, a koja je to ulica?
- s... s... s... s... s... s...
- jeli strosmajerova?
- ma nnne neego s... s... s...! i kako nije mogao izgovoriti mucavac poklopi slušalicu.
Malo se smiri, a potom ponovno nazove.
- ddddobbbar veeeceeer, jjjj jeli kom komunalno?
- jest recite!
- ma immma mrrrtav kkkkonj na uliccci i tre.. tre.. trebalo bi ga
od..od..od.. odnijet.
- a koja je ulica?
- s... s... s... s...
- je li strosmajerova?
- ma nije negggo s... s... s...! i opet mucavac poklopi.
Nakon pola sata nazove ponovno sad vec totalno ljut.
- dddddobbbaarr vee.. vee.. veceer, imma mr.. mrtav konj tu na na na ulici, tttrebbbalo bi ga od.. od.. odnijet.
- a koja je to ulica?
- ma ova s... s... s... s...
- je li strosmajerova?
- da!
- pa kako sad strosmajerova kad do sada nije bila!!!
- ma dovukkkko sam ga, u p.m.
Jedne tmurne noci, desila se provala u samostan... Glavna sestra sazove
zbor Casnih sestara i kaze:
- Otkrili smo provalu!!!
99 casnih sestara: - Oooo!!!! (zaprepašteno), 1 casna: - Hi, hi, hi...
- Smatramo da je provalnik bio muškarac!
99 casnih sestara: - Oooo!!!! (zaprepašteno), 1 casna: - Hi, hi, hi...
- Ujutro smo pronasli jedan krevet razbarušen i prezervativ na podu!!
99 casnih sestara: - Oooo!!!! (zaprepašteno i sa zgražanjem), 1 casna: - Hi, hi, hi...
- Prezervativ je bio probušen! 99 casnih sestara: - Hi, hi, hi... (prigušeno), 1 casna: - Oooo!!!!
Vodila se rasprava o tome u kojoj je zemlji najveca jeka.
Amerikanac: Kada mi sa Kipa slobode viknemo "zivjela sloboda", po tri dana
odjekuje "Zivjela!", "Zivjela!".
Francuz: Kada mi sa Ajfelovog tornja uzviknemo "zivjela ljubav", po sedam
dana odjekuje "Zivjela!", "Zivjela!".
Crnogorac: A kada mi sa Lovcena uzviknemo "zivio rad", po mjesec dana
odjekuje:
"odjebi
Dode covjek doktoru: "Doktore, mene je majka rodila na perilici rublja dok
je centrifugirala, pa se bojim da možda imam kakve posljedice?" A doktor
strucno odgovori: "Nemate problema, ja sam roden na gramofonu pa nemam
posljedice, pa nemam posljedice, pa nemam posljedice, pa nemam
posljedice..."
Ovo našla na nekom srpskom siteu i nije mi se dalo "prevodit" na hrvatski:
KOMUNIZAM: Imas 2 krave. Vlada ti uzme obe i da ti malo mleka.
FASIZAM: Imas 2 krave. Vlada ti uzmr obe i proda ti malo mleka.
NACIZAM: Imas 2 krave. Vlada ti uzme obe i strelja te.
BIROKRATIZAM: Imas 2 krave. Vlada ti uzme obe, strelja jednu, pomuze drugu i
baci mleko.
TRADICIONALNI KAPITALIZAM. Imas 2 krave. Prodas jednu i kupis bika. Tvoje
stado se mnozi i prihodi
rastu. Prodas ih sve i penzionises se sa velikom zaradom.
AMERICKA KORPORACIJA: Imas 2 krave. Prodas jednu i teras drugu da proizvodi
mleko kao cetiri krave.
Kasnije zaposlis eksperta da ispita zasto je krava crkla.
FRANCUSKA KORPORACIJA: Imas 2 krave. Stupas u strajk zato sto hoces 3 krave.
JAPANSKA KORPORACIJA: Imas 2 krave. Redizajniras ih da budu velicine desetog
dela obicne krave
i da daju dvadeset puta vise mleka. Onda napravis lukav crtani koji nazoves
Kravomon i reklamiras ih po celom svetu.
NEMACKA KORPORACIJA: Imas 2 krave. Prepravis ih tako da zive 100 godina,
jedu jednom mesecno i
same sebe muzu.
BRITANSKA KORPORACIJA: Imas 2 krave. Obe su lude.
ITALIJANSKA KORPORACIJA: Imas 2 krava ali ne znas gde su. Odes na pauzu za
rucak.
RUSKA KORPORACIJA: Imas 2 krave. Prebrojis ih i shvatis da imas 5 krava.
Ponovo ih prebrojis i shvatis da imas
5 krava. Ponovo ih prebrojis i shvatis da imas 42 krave. Ponovo ih prebrojis
i shvatis da imas 2 krave. Prestanes da brojis
i otvoris novu flasu vodke.
KINESKA KORPORACIJA: Imas 2 krave. Imas 300 ljudi da ih muzu. Tvrdis da je
zaposlenost 100%, visoki prinosi
mleka, i uhapsis novinara koji je objavio cifre.
INDIJSKA KORPORACIJA: Imas 2 krave. Obozavas ih dok ne krepaju.
napomena, obilje prostota, ne čitati, tko je osjetljiv, (ne pokazivati klincima-nije pedagoški)
Prvi školski dan u jednoj američkoj srednjoj školi. Učiteljica
predstavlja novog učenika Cakira Suzukija iz Japana.
Počinje sat i nastavnica ispituje: "Sada ćemo vidjeti koliko
poznajete američku povijest. Tko je rekao "Slobodu ili smrt."
Odjednom tišina >i samo Suzuki digne ruku: "Patrick Henry godine 1775
u Philadelphii."
"Vrlo dobro Suzuki". A tko je rekao"Država je narod i kao takva ne
smije nikada umrijeti" Suzuki ustane: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863 u
Washingtonu."
Nastavnica strogo pogleda učenike pa reče: "Sramite se. Suzuki je
Japanac pa poznaje američku povijest bolje od Vas"
Tihi glas iz kraja razreda: "Jebite se, posrani Japanci"
"Ko je to rekao" - vikne učiteljica. Suzuki digne ruku i reče "
General MacArthur, 1942 u Guadalcanalu, i Lee Iacocca 1982 na
skupštini dioničara Chryslera, Detroit."
Razred je u tišini samo se iz pozadine čuje "Puši kurac!" >Učiteljica
sva izvan sebe: "Sad je kraj. Tko je to bio?"
Suzuki: "Bill Clinton Monici Levinsky, Oval Office, 1997 u
Washingtonu. "
Drugi učenik se prodere: "Suzuki je sranje!"
Suzuki: " Valentino Rossi u Rio de Janeiru na moto Grand-Prix Brazila
2002."
Razred pada u histeriju, učiteljica u nesvijest a na vrata ulazi
ravnatelj
škole: "U pičku materinu, još nikad nisam vidio takav kaos".
Suzuki: "Premijer Hrvatske ministru financija prilikom predstavljanja
državnog proračuna, Zagreb 2003."
ETO LJUDI NADAN SE DA STE SE BAREM MALO NASMIJALI U OVOME JEBENOME ŽIVOTU...JA JESAN...STAY ČAPLJA...PUSAAA...ČEKE is me!
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Dnevnik.hr
Gol.hr
Zadovoljna.hr
Novaplus.hr
NovaTV.hr
DomaTV.hr
Mojamini.tv
FILMOVI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HEHEHEHEHEEHHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE...pucaju me filmovi pa van ovo pišen bezveze...Inače imate
doli ka opis osobe po njenome imenu...hahahahaha...its okej...mmmmmmmmmmm...2 kune....opet
filmovi...Ja volin:Nirvanu,Deep purple,prijatelje...ma imate sve opisano u jednome od prošlih postova...
a ne volin:Jednu osobu...ka ni pola tg-a...hahahahahahahahahahahahaha...aj aj...ostanite mi tako
puknuti i lipih izjebanih živaca...ka pola tg-a...i upamtite:
vi ste stvarno mislili da ja iman neku misaonu rečenicu za savjetovat da upamtite???hahahaha
Aj aj iman:I LOVE YOU FOR WHAT I'M NOT...Ima smisla kad je bolje skužite...al to nije za praznoglave supove...hahahaha...aj eto...Nek su đavli uz vas i volite jedni druge ka šta vas bokte voli....eto...
Čeke is me!
Iman nekoliko najprija koje su tu uvik za mene!:VALE,GRGA,MARE,VESE,IVANA,
JELE,EMA...HVALA IN ZA TO I OVIN IH PUTEN PUNO POZDRAVLJAN...BOKKTE..
IMA VAS KRCATO DO KOJIH MI JE STVARNO STALO I KOJE PUNO VOLIN...AL
STVARNO...NAJISKRENIJE VAN GOVORIN DA MI SE NE DA PISAT...I SPOMENILA
BI JOŠ I RILJU KOJI JE NAJBOLJI PRIJATELJ KOJEG ČOVIK IKAD MOŽE IMAT...
par blogova koje vridi posjetit:
emma moja srodna duša
(PERVERZIJA)
osoba koju vridi imat u životu...
grga VINKA (skužaj!!), jedna od
meni najbitnijih osoba u životu
vlaDka legenda
ves osoba koja gleda realno na svijet
i zbog toga mi je jedna od najprija
hit Counter
Evo van nekoliko mojih najdražih pisama::::::::::::::::
Scoff
In my eyes, I'm not lazy
In my face, It's not over
In your room, I'm not older
In your eyes, I'm not worth it
Gimme back my alcohol
Give me all your... (live: Still a failure)
Give me your
Love
Fuck

Sifting
Afraid to grade
Wouldn't it be fun?
Cross, self-loss
Wouldn't it be fun?
Wet your bed
Wouldn't it be fun?
Some fear none
Wouldn't it be fun?
Your eyes... Teacher said
Your eyes... Preacher said
Don't have nothing for you
Spell the smell
Wouldn't it be fun?
Search for a church
Wouldn't it be fun?
Wet your bed
Wouldn't it be fun?
Cold and coals
Wouldn't it be fun?
Burn
(Blackmore/Coverdale/Lord/Paice)
The sky is red, I don't understand
Past midnight I still see the land
People are sayin' the woman is damned
She makes you burn with a wave of her hand
The city's a blaze, the town's on fire
The woman's flames are reachin' higher
We were fools, we called her liar
All I hear is
"Burn!"
I didn't believe she was devil's sperm
She said, "Curse you all, you'll never learn
When I leave there's no return!"
The people laughed 'til she said, "Burn!"
Warning came, no one cared
Earth was shakin', we stood and stared
When it came no one was spared
Still I hear
"Burn!"
You know we had no time
We could not even try
You know we had no time
You know we had no time
We could not even try
You know we had no time
The sky is red, I don't understand
Past midnight I still see the land
People are sayin' the woman is damned
she makes you burn with a wave of her hand
Warning came, no one cared
Earth was shakin, we stood and stared
When it came no one was spared
Still I hear
"Burn!"
Don't Make Me Happy
(Gillan/Glover/Morse/Lord/Paice)
You stare into the room, nothing there but space
No sign of any message gone without a trace
But I don't want your pity, if that's what you think
I'll take my comfort from this hole I'm sinking in
Waste my time, drink my wine, take my money
That's alright, I don't mind but don't try to be funny
Don't make me good
Don't make me mad
Don't make me fly
Don't make me happy
It's nice here in this room, you would like it, yes you would
It's got a bed, two chairs and a table, I'd live here if I could
There's a man standing up who's down on his knees
Outside the cold wind sends a shiver through the trees
On the line, left behind, under pressure
It's so bad, leave me be, I don't want to get better
Don't make me good
Don't make me mad
Don't make me fly
Don't make me happy
I don't care what you think but think about this
It could have been somebody else, beware of what you wish
Now the door is closed, locked and sealed
And now you think you know how rejection feels
Waste my time, drink my wine, take my money
That's alright, I don't mind but don't try to be funny
Don't make me good
Don't make me mad
Don't make me fly
Don't make me happy
Demons eye
I don't mind just what you say
I never heard you, baby, never heard you anyway, yeah
I don't care what you do
Just so long as it ain't me and you
Sly, sly, oh, like a demon's eye
Everything's good, I said, everything's fine
You don't know, don't know it's the end of your time
How does it feel to be turned away
I've known it, baby, almost every daySly, sly, mm, like a demon's eye
I don't need you anymore
I don't want you, baby, here 'round my door
You slip and slide 'round my brain
You think you're so clever, yeah, but you know you're insane
Sly, sly, like a demon's eye
I d-d-don't mind just what you say
I never heard you, I never heard you anyway, no I didn't
Everything's good, everything's fine
You don't know it's the end of your time
Sly, sly, like a demon's eye
Like a demon's eye
Oh, oh, yeah
You're so sly, baby, yeah
Ooh, yeah
You make me feel upside down
Yeah, like a demon's eye
Sometimes I feel like screaming
While you were out...
The message says
You left a number
And I tried to call
But they wrote it down
In a perfect spanish scrawl
In a perfect spanish scrawl
Yet again
I’m missing you
King size bed
(in a) hotel someplace
I hear your name
I see your face
I see your face
(the) back street dolls
And the side door johnnies
The wide eyed boys with their bags full of
Money
Back in the alley
Going bang to the wall
Tied to the tail
Of a midnight crawl
Heaven wouldn’t be
So high I know
If the times gone by
Hadn’t been so low
The best laid plans
Come apart at the seams
And shatter all my dreams
Sometimes I feel like...
Screaming
Close my eyes
It’s times like this
My head goes down
And the only thing I know
Is the name of this town
Is the name of this town
Yet again
I’m missing you
Won’t be long
O’ coming home
Until that distant time
I’ll be moving on
I’ll be moving on
Speed king
Good golly, said little miss molly
When she was rockin’ in the house of blue light
Tutti frutti was oh so rooty
When she was rockin’ to the east and west
Lucille was oh so real
When she didn’t do her daddies will
Come on baby, drive me crazy--do it, do it
I’m a speed king you go to hear me sing
I’m a speed king see me fly
Saturday night and I just got paid
Gonna fool about ain’t gonna save
Some people gonna rock some people gonna roll
Gonna have a party to save my soul
Hard headed woman and a soft hearted man
They been causing trouble since it all began
Take a little rice take a little beans
Gonna rock and roll down to new orleans
When a blind man cries
If you’re leaving close the door.
I’m not expecting people anymore.
Hear me grieving, I’m lying on the floor.
Whether I’m drunk or dead I really ain’t too sure.
I’m a blind man, I’m a blind man and my world is pale.
When a blind man cries, lord, you know there ain’t no sadder tale.
Had a friend once in a room,
Had a good time but it ended much too soon.
In a cold month in that room.
We found a reason for the things we had to do.
I’m a blind man, I’m a blind man, now my room is cold.
When a blind man cries, lord, you know he feels it from his soul.
What's Goin' On Here (Blackmore/Coverdale/Lord/Paice)
Roll me over slowly I've been drinkin' all night
Help me make a move, I can't stand the light
Wake me, shake me, don't slam the door
I ain't been so bad, I just can't recall
Spent the night chasin' up a listed old flame
Lyin' on the floor I can't remember her name
I can't stay here
There's something wrong here
What's goin' on here?
Went downtown had a long way to go
How I got there I don't know
Found myself sittin' in a west-side bar
Tried to leave but I could not go far
High class woman tryin' to give me a line
Should have left early when I felt so fine
I can't stay here
There's something wrong here
What's goin' on here?
When they closed up the bar
You know they left me for dead
And I can't remember a thing that I said
Must have called the police to take me away
They said "Forty days", now I've got to pay
Spent the night chasin' up a listed old flame
Lyin' on the floor I can't remember her name
I can't get together why they're messin' with me
Keep on lookin' round, tell me where can I be
I can't stay here
There's something wrong here
What's goin' on here?
You know I'm not
your lover now
it might as well be said
and then you say
you're leaving
Or maybe I'm just
hanging on a thread
When I gave you everything
it didn't seem that much
You gave me your opinion
with the usual
heavy handed touch
What can I do
About the rain that falls on you
I'm not your lover now
I'm not your lover now
What can I do
About the rain that falls on you
I'm not your lover now
I'm not your lover now
My head is spinning endlessly
My sense won't react
Then I'm falling through a black hole
Part of me is never coming back
How you can lose a thing
you never really had
And you always hurt the one you love
and you just love to hurt me bad
What can I do
About the rain that falls on you
I'm not your lover now
I'm not your lover now
What can I do
About the sky that falls on you
I'm not your lover
You really must be going now
By god, is that the time?
Let me put you out
of my misery
They call it being cruel
to be kind
I only insult my friends
my friend
The rest can go to hell
You can read it
anyway you want
oh well, you're not so bad yourself
What can I do
About the rain that falls on you
I'm not your lover now
I'm not your lover now
I am alone
On the lonely road I'm travelling on
The road that leads nowhere
As the ground and the sky have been wondering why
I'm alone, so alone
I've been rolling on for just two years
The sun is my only friend
With the wind on the bend and my back in my hand
I'm alone, so alone
I'm alone, so alone
I'm alone, so alone
I'm alone, so alone
And I feel like going home
With my money spent, my clothes all torn
My spirit hanging low
I ain't got no friends where the highway ends
I'm alone, so alone
I'm alone, so alone
I'm alone, so alone
I'm alone, so alone
And I feel like going home
Going home
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