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JA SAM...:.
malo dijete,nažalost samo u duši,
..iako ni fizički nisam puno dalje od toga,..
uglavnom,..zovem se monika,ne mogu vam reći koliko sam stara jer se to mijenja svake sekunde,
ali ove godine imam 16,..
rođena sam 10.dana u 3.mjesecu,..davne 1991 godine,..osim toga,jos sam i lijevak (ak se to pise sa ije),..a sta mogu-luda pa zivim...
iam i mamu i tatu,ali nažalost ne zajedno,..imam i malog polubrata i malo veću sestru,
i mogu vam reć da sam ko srednje dijete prilično sretna,baš mi je neki dan rekla
frendica da u životu nije upoznala osobu koja se više smije od mene, ..a,staću... ..
.,sta se tiće ljubavi,ah,...slobodno sretna,..hahaha,pa vi mislite,..
...ŽIVIM...: na puno mjesta-u snovima ,u kući,u školi većinu dana,nekad na oblacima,,...neću se žalit,uredu mi je,...
neznam kaj da vam još kažem,..iam i meil adresu i msn,..pa ak će vam trebat pitajte me,..
...neznam,...to je sve ,...valjda...
- Enrique Iglesias Lyrics
STVARI KOJE VOLIM...
-SEBE-samo zato što kažu da moraš naučit voljet sebe da bi mogao voljet druge
-SVOJE STARCE,ipak bez njih ne bi bila ovdje zabavljala vas
-SVOJU JEDINU SEKU,kojoj bi nekad najrađe oči iskopala,ali ipak je ne bi mjenjala
-SVOGA MALOG BRACU,isti razlozi
-DORU,NATU,GRCu,MAYU,STELLU,
I SVE DRUGE FRENDOVE,LJUDE KOJE POZNAM,I ONE KOJE NE POZNAM
A ŽELE BITI SPOMENUTI,
-ŽVAKE I BOMBONE
-ČOKOLINO I NUTELU
-JEDNOG MALOG DEČKA-dobro nije bas mali,al ono... 
-BRADA RENFRA,...nemojte me tjerat da vam objašnjavam,
on je samo jedan od milijun glumaca na svijetu,to je ko da vam objašnjavam
zašto ljudi vole brada pitta,samo ja ovog brada ipak volim više...
-JURETA I ŽANA,...daaa,..hmm,
..lol-i to iako ih više nema ,..bar ne blizu..
-TV
-KIŠU
-MOJ KOMP
-FRODAD....band
-SVOJ BICIKL
-KREVET,SAN I NOĆ,.....
-MOJE SLIKICE NA ZIDU,
-MOJ MP3 I DVD-ove
-LONDON,PARIZ,L.A.,KNOXVILLE,KALIFORNIJU,
-AVIONE
-SMIJEH
-PROSLOST
-NEIZVJESNOST
-BAZENE
-SVOJU KUCU NA MORU
-VOLIM LJUBAV
- I JUŽNJAČKI NAGLASAK,...
...STVARI KOJE NE VOLIM...
-nepravdu
-zločestoću
-zavist
-školu
-rasizam, više od sveg na svijetu
-rano ustajanje
-rastave
-zimu
-čekanje u redu satima,pa čak i u šoppingu
-bolnice,osjećam se depresivno
-DIZALA I IGLE,..imam fobije
-skučene prostore,....klaustrofobija...
-nepoznate ljude,....loša iskustva.
-morske pse
-vlakova se užasavam
-pauke i zmije
-dubine,jer se bojim utapanja
-dosadu i samoću
-umišljene glupače,previše sam ih se nagledala
-etiketiranje ljudi
-ograničenost u nekim stvarima......
ne znam šta još,kad se sjetim dodat ću...
..malo slikica da vam uljepšaju dane,..lol...
..."when youre gone" by: avril lavigne...
I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
they lie on my floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
And when you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were
Yeah Yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me
Yeah
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it OK
I miss you
..."tears and rain" by:james blunt...
How I wish I could surrender my soul;
Shed the clothes that become my skin;
See the liar that burns within my needing.
How I wish I'd chosen darkness from cold.
How I wish I had screamed out loud,
Instead I've found no meaning.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
How I wish I could walk through the doors of my mind;
Hold memory close at hand,
Help me understand the years.
How I wish I could choose between Heaven and Hell.
How I wish I would save my soul.
I'm so cold from fear.
I guess it's time I run far, far away; find comfort in pain,
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
Hides my true shape, like Dorian Gray.
I've heard what they say, but I'm not here for trouble.
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words: it's just tears and rain.
ahhh..
tears and rain
(x2)
Far, far away; find comfort in pain.
All pleasure's the same: it just keeps me from trouble.
It's more than just words:
it's just tears and rain.
..."painted on my heart" by:The Cult...
I thought you'd be out of my mind
And I'd finally found a way to
Learn to live without you
I thought it was just a matter of time
Till I had a hundred reasons
Not to think about you
But it's just not so
And after all this time
I still can't let go
I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Scrawled upon my soul
Etched upon my memory baby
I've got your kiss
Still burning on my lips
The touch of my fingertips
Is love so deep inside of me
I was trying everything that I can
To get my heart to forget you
But it just can't seem to
I guess it's just no use
In every part of me
Is still a part of you
I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Scrawled upon my soul
Etched upon my memory baby
I've got your kiss
Still burning on my lips
The touch of my fingertips
Is love so deep inside of me
I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Painted on my heart
Painted on my heart
Something in your eyes keeps haunting me
I'm trying to escape you
And I know there ain't no way to
To chase you from my mind
I've still got your face
Painted on my heart
Scrawled upon my soul
Etched upon my memory baby
I've got your kiss
Still burning on my lips
The touch of my fingertips
Is love so deep inside of me, baby
I've still got your face
I've still got your face
painted on my heart
painted on my heart
painted on my heart
..."dio tebe" by: Nola...
Grad je danas tako pust, grad je danas tako siv
Tebe nema pred tobom je put, kilometre brojim kao i ti
Tvoje ruke osjećam, tvoje usne još me ljube
I sutra bit ćeš tu znam te, i biti moj, i biti moj, biti moj
Miris tebe ja nosim
Dio tebe ja želim biti
Kao šapat koji čuješ rado
Dio tebe
Vjerujem da me čuje i molim da te pazi
Put ti treba put te nosi, baš kao srce, križ i sidro
I sutra bit ćeš tu znam te i biti moj, i biti moj, biti moj
..."malena" by:sandi...
Malena, nocas srusio se svjet
Malena, sve je tako glupo bez tebe
Sad kad je stvarno kraj, Boze snage mi daj
samo da prodje ova noc.
Tako prokleto sam, Cekam novi dan
Prvi cetvrtak bez tebe.
Malena, oduvjek si znala tko sam ja
Malena, ne mogu ja bez tvoji oblaka
Sad sve su iste tko ti, i sve se smiju tko ti
Kako su ljepe samo da znas.
I sve me ljube tko ti, i sve me lazu tko ti
Sve su moje, a tako sam sam.
Malena, Kako cu bez tebe sutra
Malena, Falice mi s'tobom jutra.
Ima drugi ima bolji ali nebo zna.
Sam ti si moja.
Malena, Kako cu bez tebe sutra
Malena, Falice mi s'tobom jutra.
Ima drugi ima bolji ali nebo zna.
Samo ti si moja malena.
Malena, nocas strusio se svjet.
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Dnevnik.hr
Gol.hr
Zadovoljna.hr
Novaplus.hr
NovaTV.hr
DomaTV.hr
Mojamini.tv
DEsINg WOrkS
,,,moj život,moji prijatelji,moja obitelj i sve ostalo što je moje,upravo je postalo dostupno i vama,,,
..ja i mala dorica.. =)
ajde da ne kazu da ne mislim na njih,..nek im bude,...¨¨!!..LiNkOvLjE..!!¨¨...
gRcA-BeBoLiNa
HrC-LeGenDa
SteLLa
ReTa & RiNa
If you're asking if I need you,
the answer is forever...
If you're asking if I'll leave you,
the answer is never...
If you're asking what I value,
the answer is you...
If you're asking if I love you,
the answer id I do...
Život je lijep kad se živjeti zna,
uzmi sve lijepo što život ti da!
Sreća je kratka i živi zbog nje, ne
tražiš li previše, dobit ćeš sve!
Vjerujem...
Vjerujem da je mašta jača od znanja.
Da je mit moćniji od povijesti.
Da su snovi snažniji od činjenica.
Da nada uvijek pobjeđuje iskustvo.
Da je smijeh lijek za tugu.
I vjerujem da je ljubav jača od smrti.
...theres so many different worlds,
so many different suns,
and we have just one world,
but we live in different ones...
...coward dies a thousand times,
but a brave man dies only once,...
...you dont stop laughing
because you grow old,
you grow old
because you stop laughing...
...Sometimes we must get hurt
in order to grow
we must fail
in order to know.
Sometimes our vision
clear only after our eyes
are washed away
of tears...
...ajme njih prosto obožavam,..ko i nebi kak je slatka,..zapravo neznam koja je ovo,..briem ashley,..lol
...voljam ih,.i sad i zauvijek...
..."always" by: jon bon jovi...
This romeo is bleeding
But you can't see his blood
It's nothing but some feelings
That this old dog kicked up
It's been raining since you left me
Now I'm drowning in the flood
You see I've always been a fighter
But without you I give up
I can't sing a love song
Like the way it's meant to be
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore
But baby, that's just me
And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always
Now your pictures that you left behind
Are just memories of a different life
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry
One that made you have to say goodbye
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair
To touch your lips, to hold you near
When you say your prayers try to understand
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man
When he holds you close, when he pulls you near
When he says the words you've been needing to hear
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine
To say to you till the end of time
Yeah, I will love you baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
If you told me to cry for you
I could
If you told me to die for you
I would
Take a look at my face
There's no price I won't pay
To say these words to you
Well, there ain't no luck
In these loaded dice
But baby if you give me just one more try
We can pack up our old dreams
And our old lives
We'll find a place where the sun still shines
And I will love you, baby - Always
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind
And I'll love you - Always
..."big girls dont cry" by:fergie
La Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
You're probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself and Center, Clarity
Peace, Serenity
[CHORUS:]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
The path that I'm walking
I must go alone
I must take the baby steps 'til I'm full grown, full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they?
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay
[CHORUS:]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightening out to do
[Big Girls Don't Cry lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and UNO cards
I'll be your best friend and you'll be mine Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if you want to
'Cause I want to hold yours too
We'll be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But it's time for me to go home
It's getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself and Center, Clarity
Peace, Serenity
[CHORUS]
I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, myself and I
We've got some straightening out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
It's time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
Don't cry
La Da Da Da Da Da
..."somebodys me" by:enrique
You, do you remember me?,
Like, I remember you?
Do you spend your life, going back in your mind to that time?,
Cause I, I walk the streets alone,
I hate being on my own, and everyone can see that,
I really fell, and I'm going through hell.
Thinking about you with somebody else.
Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you.
Somebody dreams about you every single night.
Somebody cant breathe, without you it's lonely.
Somebody hopes that one day you will see, that somebody's me.
That somebody's me. yeaa...
How, how did we go wrong?
It was so good, and now it's gone,
And I pray at night, that our path's soon will cross.
What we had, isn't lost.
Cause you are always right here in my thoughts..
Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you.
Somebody dreams about you every single night.
Somebody can't breathe, without you it's lonely.
Somebody hopes that someday you will see,
That somebody's me. Oh yeah...
You will always be in my life, even if im not in your life.
Cause you're in my memory...
You, when you remember me?...
And before you set me free, oh listen please...
Somebody wants you,
Somebody needs you.
Somebody dreams about you every single night.
Somebody cant breathe, without you it's lonely.
Somebody hopes that someday you will see, that somebody's me.
That somebody's me.
Somebody's me...
That somebody's me...
That somebody's me...
Oh yeah...
..."please forgive me" by:brian adams...
It still feels like our first night together
Feels like the first kiss and It's getting better baby
No one can better this I'm still hold on and you're still the one
The first time our eyes met it's the same feelin' I get
Only feels much stronger and I wanna love you longer
You still turn the fire on
So If you're feelin' lonely.. don't
You're the only one I'd ever want
I only wanna make it good
So if I love ya a little more than I should
Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me This pain I'm going through
Please forgive me If I need ya like I do
Please believe me Every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you
Still feels like our best times are together
Feels like the first touch We're still gettin' closer baby
Can't get close enough I'm still holdin' on You're still number one
I remember the smell of your skin
I remember everything I remember all your moves
I remember you yeh,I remember the nights ya know
I still do So If you're feelin' lonely.. don't
You're the only one I'd ever want
I only wanna make it good
So if I love ya a little more than I should
Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me This pain I'm going through
Please forgive me If I need ya like I do
oh believe me Every word I say is true
Please forgive me I can't stop loving you One thing I'm sure of Is the way we make love
And the one thing I depend on Is for us to stay strong
With every word and every breath I'm praying thats why i'm sayin' Please forgive me I know not what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you
Don't deny me This pain I'm going through
Please forgive me If I need ya like I do
babe believe me Every word I say is true
Please forgive me if I can't stop loving you now believe me I don't know what I do
Please forgive me I can't stop lovin' you,can't stop loving you
..opće nemam inspiracije,...za niš,..nemojmo se zavaravat pa reć da nie kriva škola za sve,..naravno da je,..jer da nie nje sjedila bi sad sama u svojoj sobi,na svom krevetu i čitala svoju knjigu,..il pričala sa svojim prijateljim na svom emesenu,.al ne radim to -pišem vama post,jer me dužnost obvezuje... idem Mateji danas,...bash sam happy,nicam je vidio 100 godina,...
...neću vam vise pričat o bradu čisto zato jer niste zaslužili,..al bio je on poseban,.
.a kak je prof. Stanković reko da je njemu ljepo voljet francusku jer nie u modi,tak je meni ljepo voljet njega jer niko drugi ne zna za njega,bar ne meni poznat,.,osobno......jooj,...
..di sam stala,...sad ću vam napisat kratak pregled mojih opsesija,.
.mislim imam ja i strahova,..al to ću drugi put,.ovo su uglavnom ljepe stvari,.....da me bolje upoznate,...
***čEgA jA OboŽaVaM-OsIm NjeGa***
-brada-naravo --čak ima čast zauzimat 1. mjesto..
-svog tatu i mamu
-svoju seku i malog bebacha..
-svoj novi iPod
-pileću juhu..hehe
-mamine kolače,..
-čokoladu,..od keksa..
-muziku..
-filmove
-dječji smijeh..
-crvene i plave ruže..
-mojih ruku djelo,..daklem,sve ono što ja sama napravim..
-tvojih ruku djelo-sve što mi ti pokloniš..
-rođendane..
-školu popodne..
-smajliće,..
-osmijehe,..tako puno daje a niš ne košta,.
-latinske izreke,.. npr,.. DUM SPIRO,SPERO,..
-sjećati se prošlosti,..i dobre i loše,.
-volim što pamtim,..
-zagrljaje,..čak više od pusa..
-kad mi neko kaže da će bit tu,..uvijek,..
-..i kad je taj tu,..
-volim nesavršenost..
-..prvo proljetno cvijeće,..
-prvu zraku sunca..u proljeće,..
-miris ljeta,..
-volim one stvari što me pocjećaju da je "nekad bilo"..
-..obožavam se vozit u autu ne znajući kud idem,..samo sjedim,gledam kroz prozor i slušam muziku..
-volim onaj prvi osjećaj kad se godišnja doba počnu mijenjat..
-crno-bijele fotografije,..
-volim znat da postojim,..
-miris pokošene trave i zvuk kosilice u proljeće,..
-volim ne znati što će se dogoditi,..
-volim osjećaj pripadanja,..
- plakati,..možda zato toliko često to i radim,..
-hodati,..
-volim sladoled od čokolade i višnje..
-čut zrikavce u kasno ljeto,..
-stajat na balkonu i gledat u more,..
-volim ljubav,..
-spavati,..
-tuširat se u vrućoj vodi,..
-sanjati,..
-volim svoje igračke i svog najdražeg leopardića,..
-gledati tuđe oči,..
-pogled i osmijeh svoga brace kad me vidi,..
-sreću,..
-boje,..i šareni svijet,..
-igrati se "boja" ..
-volim njih,...
-putovati,..
-pjevati pjesme na stranim jezicima,..
-španjolski,..
-ameriku ..
-hodati plažom i osjećaj mekanog pjeska pod prstima...
-obožavam tatin đip,..
-voli osjećaj da mogu..
-reflektore koji mi pilje u facu svaki put kad se popnem na pozornicu..
-znati da će nešto uspjeti,..
-lupanje po bubnjevima,..
-zvuk klavira...
-briana adamsa..
-čitati ..
...i na kraju ..vOliM TeBe,VaS i NjiH,..VoliM ŽivOt i Volim zNaT Da pOsToJi SuTrA...
...Istina je što kažu da najbolji odu najranije,...zapravo se ne sjećam kad sam ga prvi put vidjela i počela voljeti,..ako se takva vrsta privlačnosti može zvati ljubav uopće,...mislim da sam imala nekih 12-tak godina i nešto sitno,...ne da mi se i nemam volje trenutno vas zamarat onim nekim opće poznatim stvarima i činjenicama iz njegovog privatnog života,...jedino što ću vam reć je ono što već vjerojatno i znate a to je da je imao 25. godina,..drugim rječima bio je premlad da umre na bilo koji način a kamoli na onaj na koji je otišao,..nie prvi kojemu je droga uzela život,..nie ni prvi ni zadnji koji je malo skrenuo s onog puta kojeg ljudi smatraju normalnim i dobrim,..ako su ljudi plakali kad je lennon umro,kad se janis joplin ubila i kad je otišao kurt cobain ko onda meni brani i smatra nepotrebnim da ja plačem,ako mi je toliko značio,..očito onda neznate koliko sam ga voljela,.makar na taj svoj čudan način platonske ljubavi,..
...ako nekome nie jasno o kom pričam podignite pogled na dečka s dizajna,..e pa on je "taj",..odnosno više nie niko,..stella je rekla da su duhovi duše koje nisu našle svoj mir pa lutaj i dalje našim svijetom,..neću se u to uplitat,ali se iskreno nadam da on nie jedan od njih,i kad je već umro nek ode zauvijek,...mala dora me pitala zbog čega plačem kad mi je tak i tak svejedno jer ga ionako nisam poznavala,pa mi niš ne znači što je umro,..i ja to znam,..al negdje je u meni valjda još gorila nada da ću ga jednom vidjeti-koliko god to glupo vama zvučalo,il bar da će me i dalje uveseljavat sa svojim filmovima i pričama,...mama me pitala jel može ona dobiti za sebe onu ljubav koju sam poklanjala i tako sebično čuvala za njega,.na što sam ja odgovorila da može dobiti samo dio ljubavi,..onu ljubav kojom sam tako predano voljela tu nadu koju sam čuvala u sebi,..zakopanu i skrivenu od svijeta,...maya me tješila na čemu joj iskreno i od srca zahvaljujem,..grca i nata su isto tako na neki svoj način pridonjele mom malom duševnom miru,a marko me i dalje zove neudanom udovicom i valjda je prvi i jedini koji mi je zapravo izrazio sućut,..iako neznam zbog čega,al mi je bilo drago,..a kad sam rekla tati samo je prokomentirao da zašto onda ne plačem na što sam ja rekla da plačem u sebi,..i znam da zvuči klišej,al me zbilja nie briga,..
..ja samo znam da ću ga voljeti uvijek i zauvijek i vjerovati da je još tu makar dok ne nađem način da se sama pomirim s činjenicom da ga više nema,...ne znam koliko će mi vremena trebati,ali to nie ono čime se zamaram,....možda se s njim oprostim u snovima,..a dok se ne vidimo "tamo-gdje-vlada-veliko-svijetlo"=sanjat ću da je tu,...
.....nEmOjTe Me pItAti kAkO sAM,.....
BrAd RenFrO
(25.07.1982.-15.01.2008.)
R.I.P.
..."nOtHinG CaN ComPaRe To wHeN YoU RoLe ThE DicE AnD SwArE YoUr LoVeS FoR mE"....
...He WaS My SunShInE,My OnlY sUnShInE,He MaDe mE HaPpy WhEn SkYs WeRe GraY,He'Ll NeVeR kNow Now How muCh I lOvEd Him---WhY dId yOu TaKe mY sUnShInE AwAy??....
...e,pa dragi moji da vam se ja malo javim,buduci da sjedim doma sama i glumim neke teske boleštine koje nemaju veze s ničim,..pita mene maja da kaj mi je,kazem ja-imam neda-mi-se-dić-iz-kreveta-u-ranu-zoru-sindrom,..pa vi mislite,..ma nie to neg me fakat sve nesto svasta boli i onda se osjecam ko debil cijeli dan i hodam po školi ko da živim u zemlji živih mrtvaca i tak sve nešto,pa mi se neda,....
...da nastavim,...priđe meni moj dragi papito (čitaj:otac) i gurne mi u ruku neki časopis s nekretninama i kaže :aj mi izdiktiraj ovaj broj.Pitam ja-nebudi lijena-a tatko što će ti zaboga taj broj kad vidiš da je to časopis u kojem bogataši prodaju,a još bogatiji kupuju,i sad il sam ja samo neupucena il mi jednostavno niko nie spomenuo da mi propadamo toj vrsti ljudi,..na što će meni tata-pa,dušo,samo gledam i razmišljam da stavim kuću na prodaju (da pocjetim ne upućene,ja ne zivim u toj kuci,jer je tatina a ja zivim s majkom),..mane lagano znoj oblijeva...t-t-t-tata,a koju kuću,hmm,ti mislis metnut na prodaju,..a on mrtav hladan-pa dušo,kuću na Pagu.....(nastane muk,teska mucna tisina),..ja progovaram na malko povisenim decibelima---PA JESI TI NORMALAN??? TA KUĆA JE SVE ŠTO JA JADNA U ŽIVOTU IMAM I ŠTO ME SPRIJEČAVA DA SI NE PROSVIRAM MOZAK SVAKI DAN!!!!! AK TA KUĆA IKAD PADNE U RUKE NEKOM AROGANTNOM,UMIŠLJENOM,RASTAVLJENIM-I-OŽENJENIM-S-NEKOM-MLADOM-TREBOM-KOJA-BI-MU-KĆER-MOGLA-BIT- BOGATAŠU ISPOBAT ĆU MAJKE MI JAPANSKI HARAKIRI NA SEBI I SVIMA KOJI MI SE NAĐU U BLIZINI!!!! misleći da je shvatio kolko mi znaci ta kuca,..usutim i pustim njega da pljune koju pametnu,.nista,...nula bodova,...nastavim ja jednakim tonom,..TATA,ODRASLA SAMU TAMO,SVAKE GODINE PA PAR MJESECI SAM TAMO,SVE LJEPE USPOMENE ME VEŽU ZA TOM USRANO MJESTO,KOJE BI TI SAM TAKO PRODAO,..napokon progovara moj dragi otac,...šta ti misliš da imam izbora,šta misliš da ja to ŽELIM napravit,..-PA ČINI MI SE DA DA,NE PONAŠAŠ SE BAŠ DA TI JE JAKO TEŠKO,..onda je ponovio onu poznatu rečenicu koju slušam od kad pamtim da postojim,...i niko da mi je objasni cijeli život,.."SHVATIT ĆEŠ JEDNO KAD NARASTEŠ".....i sad se ja jadna pitam,..a da meni neko samo kaže koliko se godina to od mene očekuje da imam kad ću bit "narasla" i sposobna vodit razgovore za odrasle ljude bez da me neko ušutkava tom rečenicom,..al niko da mi pomogne,....
....***jesam spomenula da sam nakon tog malog incidenta uzela u ruke časopis s nekretninama i strgala ga na komadiće i na kraju izrezuckala sa škaricama za nokte svaki komadić veći od 2mm i spalila,...da se više ne nađe u rukama mog papita jer ko zna kakve bi mu prljave misli opet mogle past na pamet....***
....."misli svako da je meni lako,da je meni lako,ne daj Bože nikome ovako,nikome ovako......"
...za pocetak ocu vam svima cestitat SRETNU NOVU GODINU,..i blablablabla,..sva ona sranja kaj ide uz cestitku,.neda mi se sad pisat,...i htjedoh se ispicat svima kojima nisam cestital jer neam naime mob,..nema mi roming i ne prihvaca mrezu tak da nemogu ni citat poruke nit ih dobivam nit ih mogu slat,..pa,.....sry,......kmeeee....
....e,da,..jel vam se ikad dogodilo da sanjate i kad se probudite ne znate jeste sanjali il se to dogodilo,..il nesto jaaako zelite da na kraju sami sebe uvjerite da je to istina i sami pocnete vjerovat u to,...neznam,...zovite me ludom al meni se to cesto dogada,...pocnem vjerovat u nesto,....sto uopce nie istina,...npr. vjerujem da ce se neki ljudi vratiti koji su otisli,..i da ce ponovo bit dio mog zivota,..sto moze al i nemora bit istina,..al ja vjerujem da ce doc,..il stovise-da su vec tu...stvarno nisam normalna,jel da....??
....nie da sam to ikad za sebe tvrdila,..daleko sam ja od one norme koju ljudi smatraju normalnom,...neda mi se vise pisat,..stvarno neam inspiracije....ljudi su okrutni,..ja osobno smatram da je najgore sto se moze nekome dogoditi u zivotu je da ostane sam il bez dragih mu ljudi,...a kako je krenulo,...i jos nesto za moje ljude i ljudice-ne mislim skupljat i ljepit ponovo krhotine onoga sto je nekada bilo i sad samo ostalo,...ostatke bilo chega pa tak i ljudskih i medju-ljudskih odnosa...il kako bi gibboni reko: "ovo mi je skola,i drugi puta cu pametnije"....
...volim vas sve...
....grca je napisala jednu jako ljepi recenicu,..al ja cu je malo promijenit pa cu rec..
....zajedno djelimo proslos,a dok te ne vidim ponovo,sanjat cu da si tu...
.......even in my dreams I know Im an idiot whos about to wake up to reality....
....heaven crys sometimes....
..."Ovo mi je škola
I drugi puta ću pametnije
Jer fališ mi do bola
I znam da bit će još i bolnije
Jer svaka ljubav nova
Ruši vjeru u tebe
Ovo mi je škola
I drugi puta ću pametnije
Oooo ooo
Koje su to riječi
Što su meni sišle s usana
Ne poznajem ni jednu
Što bi kazni ovoj bila jednaka
Jer su osveta i ponos
Dvije sestre blizanke
Rođene u ponoć
Jedna malo prije, a druga kasnije
Oooo ooo
Ako ikad vratim vjeru u tebe
Oooo ooo
I onda lažna nada nikne za mene
Na poljima od snova
Ne pušta se korijenje
Ovo mi je škola
I drugi puta ću pametnije
Oooo ooo
Ovo mi je škola
I drugi puta ću pametnije
Jer fališ mi do bola
I znam da bit će još i bolnije
Jer su osveta i ponos
Dvije sestre blizanke
Rođene u ponoć
Jedna malo prije, a druga kasnije"....
