subota, 07.06.2014.
"Ne mogu se snaći, padoh iz oblaka"
Pričaš, otvaraš i zatvaraš usta iz kojih navodno izlaze riječi. Riječi koje ja ne čujem. To nije ništa osobno, ne znači da mi nije stalo do toga što govoriš, ne znači da mi nije stalo do tebe. Moj svijet je postao tako beživotan i tih, gotovo kao da nitko ne živi u njemu. Osoba sa kojom pričaš više ne postoji, njen hologram panično traga za svemirskim brodom kojim je došla na ovu planetu.
Čim provirim van oblaka u kojima mi je redovito glava, postanem svjesna stvarnosti i preplavi me osjećaj običnosti rutine života u kojem ne želim sudjelovati. Svaka misao boli, poput kiseline izjeda mozak koji više nije sposoban normalno funkcionirati. Ne mogu brzo i efektivno razmišljati. Plaši me koliko mi nije stalo ni do čega. Ponekad ne mogu pratiti ni normalan razgovor jer mi misli paraliziraju cijelo tijelo, ne dopuštajući mi da se pomaknem. Imam potrebu zaroniti, ohladiti mozak koji gori i taknuti svaki kamen na dnu mora dok plivam među travama, iako me hvata jeza od njih jer ne vidim što skrivaju. Zanima me puno stvari, želim naučiti puno toga, ali me ništa ne motivira da se pokrenem i zato ostajem vječito sporedan lik u knjizi koju nitko ne čita.
Ništa ne poduzimam, samo čekam olakšanje poput saznanja da noćna mora nema uporište u stvarnosti. No koliko puta se još moram probuditi kako bih napokon došla do prave stvarnosti?
07.06.2014. u 00:15 •
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I used to live in a room full of mirrors,all I could see was me
“It's so hard to forget pain, but it's even harder to remember sweetness. We have no scar to show for happiness. We learn so little from peace.”
Where I'm from, time doesn't exist
Seconds turn into hours,
Years are made of short moments that have already flown away
And our deceptive words are replaced
By music and the colours
That drift like perfumes in the amber air
Are these people real or just ghosts in the wind?
People once believed that when someone dies
a crow carries their soul to the land of the dead…
…But sometimes something so bad happens
that a terrible sadness is carried and the soul can’t rest
then sometimes, just sometimes,
the crow can bring that soul back
to put the WRONG things RIGHT…
Znam da ponekad ostavljam mizantropski dojam ali zapravo imam potrebu pomagati ljudima makar ih ne poznajem i ako ne odgovorim na komentare nije ništa osobno nego mi se jednostavno ne priča ni sa kime ...kasnije ću već odgovoriti ;) I znam da mi naslovi često nisu povezani s tekstom. To ionako napišem prvo što mi pada na pamet. Ne treba se uzrujavati. :)
Woke up to another day in this hellhole.
My mind fucks up my soul.
Sitting in this rubber cell of mine
With nothing sharp whatsoever.
But the mind is as good as any knife
That cuts to the bone.
I don't know what has happened to me
Or how I've sunk so low
I'm trying not to look back
Trying not to remember
I'm sober today
And it's raining again
“Written on Eve’s grave by Adam: “Wherever she was, there was Eden.””
http://www.7cupsoftea.com/1106704
“I hope there are days when you fall in love with being alive.”
— Anonymous
"In the end, we are all alone. It’s not who loves you, but who you love and you’ll always have that whether that love was reciprocated or not. In the meantime we live this bleak life and modern times of grey skies and electric light. We wait. We pass the time. We listen to music."
-David Gold.
“Start now. Start where you are. Start with fear. Start with pain. Start with doubt. Start with hands shaking. Start with voice trembling but start. Start and don’t stop. Start where you are, with what you have. Just … start.”
— Ijeoma Umebinyuo
