We were in the open concourse where the turnstiles were. It was hardly any better here -- the enclosed space sent the voices around us echoing back in a roar that made my head ring, and the smell and feeling of all those bodies made me feel a claustrophobia I'd never known I was prone to.
The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
Never feel self-pity, the most destructive emotion there is. How awful to be caught up in the terrible squirrel cage of self.
There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.
Nothing is particularly hard if you divide it into small jobs.
I like coincidences. They make me wonder about destiny, and whether free will is an illusion or just a matter of perspective. They let me speculate on the idea of some master plan that, from time to time, we're allowed to see out of the corner of our eye.
Maybe they were terrorists!
Human beings have an inalienable right to invent themselves.
Now is the time for all good men to come to.
There is still a difference between something and nothing, but it is purely geometrical and there is nothing behind the geometry.
The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.
He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little.
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.
A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.
Where we have strong emotions, we're liable to fool ourselves.
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
The great thing about a computer notebook is that no matter how much you stuff into it, it doesn't get bigger or heavier.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success.
The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy.
He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little.
I used to believe that marriage would diminish me, reduce my options. That you had to be someone less to live with someone else when, of course, you have to be someone more.
It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
Keep cool and you command everybody.
You can't just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they'll want something new.
Intimacy is what makes a marriage, not a ceremony, not a piece of paper from the state.
Someone went upside my head again.
A rumor without a leg to stand on will get around some other way.
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.
Nothing is impossible. Some things are just less likely than others.
Do not be awe struck by other people and try to copy them. Nobody can be you as efficiently as you can.
My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
Every man, wherever he goes, is encompassed by a cloud of comforting convictions, which move with him like flies on a summer day.
When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.
That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.
There are two types of people--those who come into a room and say, 'Well, here I am!' and those who come in and say, 'Ah, there you are.'
Someone went upside my head again.
As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death.
Truly great madness cannot be achieved without significant intelligence.
Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.
Winning is important to me, but what brings me real joy is the experience of being fully engaged in whatever I'm doing.
We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us.
A tactical retreat is not a bad response to a surprise assault, you know. First you survive. Then you choose your own ground. Then you counterattack.
You always pass failure on the way to success.
Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too.
Learn the art of patience. Apply discipline to your thoughts when they become anxious over the outcome of a goal. Impatience breeds anxiety, fear, discouragement and failure. Patience creates confidence, decisiveness, and a rational outlook, which eventually leads to success.
Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can't last.
He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little.
I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and dated it Thanksgiving 1995. I put it in my wallet and it deteriorated. And then, just before Thanksgiving 1995, I found out I was going to make ten million dollars for Dumb & Dumber. I put that check in the casket with my father because it was our dream together.
The crux... is that the vast majority of the mass of the universe seems to be missing.
What if this weren't a hypothetical question?
What's another word for Thesaurus?
A good man would prefer to be defeated than to defeat injustice by evil means.
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.
Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life.
You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play.
Love is the ability and willingness to allow those that you care for to be what they choose for themselves without any insistence that they satisfy you.
The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.
It is wonderful how quickly you get used to things, even the most astonishing.
I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened.
It?s like your batteries get low, and you need to charge them on someone else?s story.
A good man would prefer to be defeated than to defeat injustice by evil means.
Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side.
You're dealing with the demon of external validation. You can't beat external validation. You want to know why? Because it feels sooo good.
Hares can gambol over the body of a dead lion.
You couldn't even prove the White House staff sane beyond a reasonable doubt.
It's the soul's duty to be loyal to its own desires. It must abandon itself to its master passion.
Before you do anything, think. If you do something to try and impress someone, to be loved, accepted or even to get someone's attention, stop and think. So many people are busy trying to create an image, they die in the process.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.
Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything.
Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope to have in the future.
Good breeding consists of concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person.
I'm moving, but don't worry! Someone once told me we're all on the same planet, so I'll be okay!
The radical of one century is the conservative of the next. The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them.
How we remember, what we remember and why we remember form the most personal map of our individuality.
The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling.
To lengthen thy life, lessen thy meals.
My eyes swam and watered and I literally couldn't breathe through the pain.
I mean, I knew that in the abstract there were terrorists somewhere in the world, but they didn't really represent any risk to me.
After the last of 16 mounting screws has been removed from an access cover, it will be discovered that the wrong access cover has been removed.
I like coincidences. They make me wonder about destiny, and whether free will is an illusion or just a matter of perspective. They let me speculate on the idea of some master plan that, from time to time, we're allowed to see out of the corner of our eye.
The summer night is like a perfection of thought.
Use what you have to run toward your best - that's how I now live my life.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it.
I am not young enough to know everything.
The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.
At the mention of the word mace, the guy looked scared and kind of melted back, though the crowd kept him moving forward.
If you don't know where you are going, you will probably end up somewhere else.
The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure.
I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
Nothing is so good for an ignorant man as silence; and if he was sensible of this he would not be ignorant.
The scornful nostril and the high head gather not the odors that lie on the track of truth.
He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave.
No one goes there nowadays, it's too crowded.
Refuse to be ill. Never tell people you are ill; never own it to yourself. Illness is one of those things which a man should resist on principle.
Keep cool and you command everybody.
Read over your compositions, and wherever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.
Sometimes love will pick you up by the short hairs...and jerk the heck out of you.
He had learned over the years that poor people did not feel so poor when allowed to give occasionally.
He who boasts of his ancestry is praising the deeds of another.
What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog.
Don't mace him!" I shouted over the din. "You'll get us all too.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
He who labors diligently need never despair; for all things are accomplished by diligence and labor.
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.
I ran the wrong kind of business, but I did it with integrity.
Worries go down better with soup than without.
You're dealing with the demon of external validation. You can't beat external validation. You want to know why? Because it feels sooo good.
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
Do not be awe struck by other people and try to copy them. Nobody can be you as efficiently as you can.
The better part of valor is discretion, in the which better part I have saved my life.
The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.
I am not sincere, even when I say I am not.
Humor is also a way of saying something serious.
That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease the people by doing what you know is right, than to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong.
The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.
We are made to persist. That's how we find out who we are.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
Try to put your happiness before anyone else's, because you may never have done so in your entire life, if you really think about it, if you are really honest with yourself.
Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable.
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
Feet, why do I need them if I have wings to fly?
Think of life as a terminal illness, because, if you do, you will live it with joy and passion, as it ought to be lived.
Music is essentially useless, as life is.
The people who are regarded as moral luminaries are those who forego ordinary pleasures themselves and find compensation in interfering with the pleasures of others.
We are made to persist. That's how we find out who we are.
The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure.
Feeling grateful to or appreciative of someone or something in your life actually attracts more of the things that you appreciate and value into your life.
The more freedom we enjoy, the greater the responsibility we bear, toward others as well as ourselves.
Science is nothing but developed perception, interpreted intent, common sense rounded out and minutely articulated.
Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.
He who is not very strong in memory should not meddle with lying.
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
Wit makes its own welcome, and levels all distinctions. No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit.
A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money.
Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.
Try to put your happiness before anyone else's, because you may never have done so in your entire life, if you really think about it, if you are really honest with yourself.
I think people want their illusions and writers are mostly illusion. When you read their words, you read a flattened, incomplete version of the writer.
I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, "I wanna grow up and be a critic."
When you close your doors, and make darkness within, remember never to say that you are alone, for you are not alone; nay, God is within, and your genius is within. And what need have they of light to see what you are doing?
Order is not pressure which is imposed on society from without, but an equilibrium which is set up from within.
Repetition does not transform a lie into a truth.
We don't get offered crises, they arrive.
I know that you believe that you understood what you think I said, but I am not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.
I don't like composers who think. It gets in the way of their plagiarism.
Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad.
Good habits, which bring our lower passions and appetites under automatic control, leave our natures free to explore the larger experiences of life.
It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
Nothing is so awesomely unfamiliar as the familiar that discloses itself at the end of a journey.
Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.
Calamities are of two kinds: misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.
To believe in God or in a guiding force because someone tells you to is the height of stupidity. We are given senses to receive our information within. With our own eyes we see, and with our own skin we feel. With our intelligence, it is intended that we understand. But each person must puzzle it out for himself or herself.
Man is only miserable so far as he thinks himself so.
The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
I believe in God, only I spell it Nature.
It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.
If there's one thing I know it's God does love a good joke.
It is wonderful how quickly you get used to things, even the most astonishing.
If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich.
If you refuse to be made straight when you are green, you will not be made straight when you are dry.
There is surely a piece of divinity in us, something that was before the elements, and owes no homage unto the sun.
Enjoy your own life without comparing it with that of another.
Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough.
I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and dated it Thanksgiving 1995. I put it in my wallet and it deteriorated. And then, just before Thanksgiving 1995, I found out I was going to make ten million dollars for Dumb & Dumber. I put that check in the casket with my father because it was our dream together.
Health consists of having the same diseases as one's neighbors.
Have you ever observed that we pay much more attention to a wise passage when it is quoted than when we read it in the original author?
Why the hell would terrorists kidnap a bunch of high school students?
A smiling face is half the meal.
Deeds, not words shall speak me.
There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
The truth does not change according to our ability to stomach it.
...happiness gives us the energy which is the basis of health.
Ask a deeply religious Christian if he?d rather live next to a bearded Muslim that may or may not be plotting a terror attack, or an atheist that may or may not show him how to set up a wireless network in his house. On the scale of prejudice, atheists don?t seem so bad lately.
I felt the doors open near me, and then saw a confusion of booted feet moving close by.
You can't just ask customers what they want and then try to give that to them. By the time you get it built, they'll want something new.
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
Do something every day that you don't want to do; this is the golden rule for acquiring the habit of doing your duty without pain.
Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter.
We don't get offered crises, they arrive.
Whoso would be a man must be a nonconformist.
I heard them shouting through the muffling canvas of the bag, and then I was being impersonally hauled to my feet by my wrists, my arms wrenched up behind my back, my shoulders screaming.
A good man would prefer to be defeated than to defeat injustice by evil means.
How we treasure (and admire) the people who acknowledge us!
Who were these clowns?
Without the capacity to provide its own information, the mind drifts into randomness.
The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind, but how to get old ones out. Every mind is a building filled with archaic furniture. Clean out a corner of your mind and creativity will instantly fill it.
It?s like your batteries get low, and you need to charge them on someone else?s story.
As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, keep it.
But be, as you have been, my happiness...
Laughter is supposed to be the best medicine, however, it should never be at the expense of someone?s feelings or ignoring truth.
You have no control over what the other guy does. You only have control over what you do.
Newspapermen learn to call a murderer 'an alleged murderer' and the King of England 'the alleged King of England' to avoid libel suits.
The next time a car appeared down Market Street, I stepped right out into the road, waving my arms over my head, shouting.
Keep cool and you command everybody.
Our problems are man-made, therefore they may be solved by man. And man can be as big as he wants. No problem of human destiny is beyond human beings.
The louder he talked of his honor, the faster we counted our spoons.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us.
The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.
A doctor saves lives -- It's up to people to create lives that are worth saving.
I like an escalator because an escalator can never break, it can only become stairs. There would never be an escalator temporaly out of order sign, only an escalator temporarily stairs. Sorry for the convenience.
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
The discovery of a new dish does more for human happiness than the discovery of a new star.
Many people weigh the guilt they will feel against the pleasure of the forbidden action they want to take.
All love that has not friendship for its base, is like a mansion built upon sand.
The ornament of a house is the friends who frequent it.
Whatever you do, do it to the purpose; do it thoroughly, not superficially. Go to the bottom of things. Any thing half done, or half known, is in my mind, neither done nor known at all. Nay, worse, for it often misleads.
Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read "President Can't Swim".
Love is that splendid triggering of human vitality... the supreme activity which nature affords anyone for going out of himself toward someone else.
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
When I came back to Dublin I was courtmartialed in my absence and sentenced to death in my absence, so I said they could shoot me in my absence.
You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious, nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave.
Wit makes its own welcome, and levels all distinctions. No dignity, no learning, no force of character, can make any stand against good wit.
Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.
You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing.
The great art of giving consists in this: the gift should cost very little and yet be greatly coveted, so that it may be the more highly appreciated.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
You should not live one way in private, another in public.
Get pleasure out of life...as much as you can. Nobody ever died from pleasure.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Dance is the hidden language of the soul.
Summer afternoon - Summer afternoon... the two most beautiful words in the English language.
The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.
Sometimes love will pick you up by the short hairs...and jerk the heck out of you.
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
At a dinner party one should eat wisely but not too well, and talk well but not too wisely.
People will buy anything that is one to a customer.
I was sick of cars driving right past me.
It had only one fault. It was kind of lousy.
Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.
The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.
Sorrow was like the wind. It came in gusts.
To achieve great things we must live as though we were never going to die.
Do not believe that he who seeks to comfort you lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life has much difficulty... Were it otherwise he would never have been able to find those words.
To believe in God or in a guiding force because someone tells you to is the height of stupidity. We are given senses to receive our information within. With our own eyes we see, and with our own skin we feel. With our intelligence, it is intended that we understand. But each person must puzzle it out for himself or herself.
Most of the basic truths of life sound absurd at first hearing.
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
Music is essentially useless, as life is.
I stumbled some, then a hand pushed my head down and I was inside the Hummer.
Read over your compositions, and wherever you meet with a passage which you think is particularly fine, strike it out.
There are more tears shed over answered prayers than over unanswered prayers.
A hobby a day keeps the doldrums away.
Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.
Everybody likes to go their own way--to choose their own time and manner of devotion.
Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power.
Therefore search and see if there is not some place where you may invest your humanity.
When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
It's the soul's duty to be loyal to its own desires. It must abandon itself to its master passion.
I think it is good that books still exist, but they do make me sleepy.
Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
For the night was not impartial. No, the night loved some more than others, served some more than others.
I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
Liberals are very broadminded: they are always willing to give careful consideration to both sides of the same side.
You can't deny laughter. When it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants.
The first vehicle that screamed past -- an ambulance -- didn't even slow down.
Who were these clowns?
We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us.
Your world is made of your memories, and your memories are given to you by your world. The whispering voice of happenstance is always in our ears. 'This is the world. This is the way things are. Look. Pay attention. Remember.'
There is an evil tendency underlying all our technology - the tendency to do what is reasonable even when it isn't any good.
Do not believe that he who seeks to comfort you lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes do you good. His life has much difficulty... Were it otherwise he would never have been able to find those words.
Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
Learning to live in the present moment is part of the path of joy.
Laughing is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one spot.
Thomas Jefferson once said, 'We should never judge a president by his age, only by his works.' And ever since he told me that, I stopped worrying.
Do not be awe struck by other people and try to copy them. Nobody can be you as efficiently as you can.
It's a dangerous business going out your front door.
He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.
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