I am sure I've included this short story ("Carobna kuglica", by Davor Slamnig from his collection of short stories, "Cudoviste", i.e. "The Monster") before, but now I've personalised a little bit and included it in my amateur translation.
I like it because it implies the beautiful world(s) children can inhabit. When adults do it, it usually means trouble. But I've seen the child in Maria, how she can start drawing something on an empty side of a beer coaster and keep at it, I've always enjoyed watching it. Or, when we're in a cafe, sitting silently, smoking and listening to the music, and she would just say, "I LOVE this song."
I also like it, because the story is actually a lovely variation on neurotic knots we all have in some shape or form. Ronald Laing's Knots is full of (semi)abstract (semi)poetic neurotic and/or psychotic knots he noticed in his patients to be most common.
In all truth, I'm much fuller of such knots that Maria. Maria has that One, but it's really a big knot. "Why don't you pass that one exam that separates you from a pilot's licence, get some more hours on an aircraft and start working as a pilot?", I've asked her, knowing how she enjoyed flying (something I can very much relate to). "I can't", she answered. Why not? "It's my brain." she said. But I've seen her on medication, off medication, I've heard a lot from her and about her, and the worst I've seen were here La Bomba moments when she would explode and become rather aggresive. Now I even cherish those moments, I am just disappointed that I've never learned how to handle them better (to leave her in peace until she cools down, not talk to her patiently -- it only made things worse) or learned to pick up on hints (if she ever made any, which I'm still not sure) that there's frustration building up in her.
And she said it herself, that all the therapists, all the psychiatric care she's been exposed to, the best they could come by was that she is "depressed". How wouldn't she be? I wonder if she ever was that open with them to start tackling the one big issue she has, her abuse as a child. I cannot believe doctors would not pick up on that. It's possible they never found a way of addressing it without making Maria's condition worse.
I know her much better than she thinks. I know. I feel. I love. I love her as she is. I just wasn't happy with myself, as I was.
11.03.2008. (10:38)
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I am sure I've included this short story ("Carobna kuglica", by Davor Slamnig from his collection of short stories, "Cudoviste", i.e. "The Monster") before, but now I've personalised a little bit and included it in my amateur translation.
I like it because it implies the beautiful world(s) children can inhabit. When adults do it, it usually means trouble. But I've seen the child in Maria, how she can start drawing something on an empty side of a beer coaster and keep at it, I've always enjoyed watching it. Or, when we're in a cafe, sitting silently, smoking and listening to the music, and she would just say, "I LOVE this song."
I also like it, because the story is actually a lovely variation on neurotic knots we all have in some shape or form. Ronald Laing's Knots is full of (semi)abstract (semi)poetic neurotic and/or psychotic knots he noticed in his patients to be most common.
In all truth, I'm much fuller of such knots that Maria. Maria has that One, but it's really a big knot. "Why don't you pass that one exam that separates you from a pilot's licence, get some more hours on an aircraft and start working as a pilot?", I've asked her, knowing how she enjoyed flying (something I can very much relate to). "I can't", she answered. Why not? "It's my brain." she said. But I've seen her on medication, off medication, I've heard a lot from her and about her, and the worst I've seen were here La Bomba moments when she would explode and become rather aggresive. Now I even cherish those moments, I am just disappointed that I've never learned how to handle them better (to leave her in peace until she cools down, not talk to her patiently -- it only made things worse) or learned to pick up on hints (if she ever made any, which I'm still not sure) that there's frustration building up in her.
And she said it herself, that all the therapists, all the psychiatric care she's been exposed to, the best they could come by was that she is "depressed". How wouldn't she be? I wonder if she ever was that open with them to start tackling the one big issue she has, her abuse as a child. I cannot believe doctors would not pick up on that. It's possible they never found a way of addressing it without making Maria's condition worse.
I know her much better than she thinks. I know. I feel. I love. I love her as she is. I just wasn't happy with myself, as I was.
11.03.2008. (10:39)
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not leave her in peace until she cools down, nor to talk to her patiently, but to fight back. smirivanje i odlaženje dok se bure ne smire je ignoriranje bijesa koji je dio nje. smirivanje i odlaženje ga ne rješavaju već bi ga usmjerili na tebe. osim toga, to je i papčinski :D
15.07.2008. (15:52)
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stepska ptitchitza
I am sure I've included this short story ("Carobna kuglica", by Davor Slamnig from his collection of short stories, "Cudoviste", i.e. "The Monster") before, but now I've personalised a little bit and included it in my amateur translation.
I like it because it implies the beautiful world(s) children can inhabit. When adults do it, it usually means trouble. But I've seen the child in Maria, how she can start drawing something on an empty side of a beer coaster and keep at it, I've always enjoyed watching it. Or, when we're in a cafe, sitting silently, smoking and listening to the music, and she would just say, "I LOVE this song."
I also like it, because the story is actually a lovely variation on neurotic knots we all have in some shape or form. Ronald Laing's Knots is full of (semi)abstract (semi)poetic neurotic and/or psychotic knots he noticed in his patients to be most common.
In all truth, I'm much fuller of such knots that Maria. Maria has that One, but it's really a big knot. "Why don't you pass that one exam that separates you from a pilot's licence, get some more hours on an aircraft and start working as a pilot?", I've asked her, knowing how she enjoyed flying (something I can very much relate to). "I can't", she answered. Why not? "It's my brain." she said. But I've seen her on medication, off medication, I've heard a lot from her and about her, and the worst I've seen were here La Bomba moments when she would explode and become rather aggresive. Now I even cherish those moments, I am just disappointed that I've never learned how to handle them better (to leave her in peace until she cools down, not talk to her patiently -- it only made things worse) or learned to pick up on hints (if she ever made any, which I'm still not sure) that there's frustration building up in her.
And she said it herself, that all the therapists, all the psychiatric care she's been exposed to, the best they could come by was that she is "depressed". How wouldn't she be? I wonder if she ever was that open with them to start tackling the one big issue she has, her abuse as a child. I cannot believe doctors would not pick up on that. It's possible they never found a way of addressing it without making Maria's condition worse.
I know her much better than she thinks. I know. I feel. I love. I love her as she is. I just wasn't happy with myself, as I was.
11.03.2008. (10:38) - - - - - promjene spremljene- uredi komentar - obriši komentar - prijavi ovaj komentar kao spam - zabrani komentiranje autoru ovog komentara- učitavam...
stepska ptitchitza
I am sure I've included this short story ("Carobna kuglica", by Davor Slamnig from his collection of short stories, "Cudoviste", i.e. "The Monster") before, but now I've personalised a little bit and included it in my amateur translation.
I like it because it implies the beautiful world(s) children can inhabit. When adults do it, it usually means trouble. But I've seen the child in Maria, how she can start drawing something on an empty side of a beer coaster and keep at it, I've always enjoyed watching it. Or, when we're in a cafe, sitting silently, smoking and listening to the music, and she would just say, "I LOVE this song."
I also like it, because the story is actually a lovely variation on neurotic knots we all have in some shape or form. Ronald Laing's Knots is full of (semi)abstract (semi)poetic neurotic and/or psychotic knots he noticed in his patients to be most common.
In all truth, I'm much fuller of such knots that Maria. Maria has that One, but it's really a big knot. "Why don't you pass that one exam that separates you from a pilot's licence, get some more hours on an aircraft and start working as a pilot?", I've asked her, knowing how she enjoyed flying (something I can very much relate to). "I can't", she answered. Why not? "It's my brain." she said. But I've seen her on medication, off medication, I've heard a lot from her and about her, and the worst I've seen were here La Bomba moments when she would explode and become rather aggresive. Now I even cherish those moments, I am just disappointed that I've never learned how to handle them better (to leave her in peace until she cools down, not talk to her patiently -- it only made things worse) or learned to pick up on hints (if she ever made any, which I'm still not sure) that there's frustration building up in her.
And she said it herself, that all the therapists, all the psychiatric care she's been exposed to, the best they could come by was that she is "depressed". How wouldn't she be? I wonder if she ever was that open with them to start tackling the one big issue she has, her abuse as a child. I cannot believe doctors would not pick up on that. It's possible they never found a way of addressing it without making Maria's condition worse.
I know her much better than she thinks. I know. I feel. I love. I love her as she is. I just wasn't happy with myself, as I was.
11.03.2008. (10:39) - - - - - promjene spremljene- uredi komentar - obriši komentar - prijavi ovaj komentar kao spam - zabrani komentiranje autoru ovog komentara- učitavam...
.
not leave her in peace until she cools down, nor to talk to her patiently, but to fight back. smirivanje i odlaženje dok se bure ne smire je ignoriranje bijesa koji je dio nje. smirivanje i odlaženje ga ne rješavaju već bi ga usmjerili na tebe. osim toga, to je i papčinski :D
15.07.2008. (15:52) - - - - - promjene spremljene- uredi komentar - obriši komentar - prijavi ovaj komentar kao spam - zabrani komentiranje autoru ovog komentara- učitavam...