Ludlud climbs onto the table. It occurred to him to preach from his desktop.
It is interesting when you have to act from a position of weakness. At one time, I always started from a position of strength. It decreases slowly, you get used to a different pace. Like when you drive, security gives you the skill to reserve strength by napping at the wheel. To start up every damned everyday activity from a position of embarrassing weakness is terrible, but it is interesting and gives a new perspective. You see yourself in a new light, but you see the world as well.
For example, suddenly everyone is paying considerate in their behaviour with you. Very quickly you notice what is needed to be in front of everybody, always. You notice how you were and to whom and why. It all shames me, in fact. Moreover I cannot remember the real reason behind all of that “unnecessary use of strength” so often in life. I know, surely it was always some good reason, but now it seems no more than mere wantonness. Utterances more than I remember, just this feeling of wantonness. To be strong leads to wantonness. And in the face of that anybody who knew me would probably say that I was behaving more or less like a civilised being, or even a gentle man. If I feel wanton, how must it be in really stupid people?
The world encourages heedlessness. Capitalism and all that shit that generally does not interest me. We all lie about the same fabric of lies and also know that we lie blatantly and lie more, but mendacity is terribly gruelling. It is gruelling for the individual with his little, familiar, if you like, banal lies, and then you also load the already tired individual with the infinite burden of civilised lies, bitter illusions of the history of mankind, that he carries and that he carries with him from the cradle to the grave, or which is nowadays popularly called “lifelong learning”.
The world encourages recklessness, to be strong is the real thing, and everyone is already weak since he is carrying a burden, thus the need to lie, to lie about your strength. So he gets even more tired under the burden of still bigger lies.
To start from the bottom, through weakness, may be an empowering experience. There are no lies and strength returns, but strength purifying and purged from illusions, from folly and pride, and it has a new quality.
Once I was strong, and I did not know that I am truly weak. Now that I am weak, I have received a new, true, strength. What all men learn as throughout life?! But all that is already written, I know, all that has been said, but you have not always eyes which read nor ears that hear.
It is a deaf time. Sunday. I wish everybody peace in heart, to all strong peace in heart, but to all weak, peace in mind.
20.09.2007. (13:09)
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Ludlud climbs onto the table. It occurred to him to preach from his desktop.
It is interesting when you have to act from a position of weakness. At one time, I always started from a position of strength. It decreases slowly, you get used to a different pace. Like when you drive, security gives you the skill to reserve strength by napping at the wheel. To start up every damned everyday activity from a position of embarrassing weakness is terrible, but it is interesting and gives a new perspective. You see yourself in a new light, but you see the world as well.
For example, suddenly everyone is paying considerate in their behaviour with you. Very quickly you notice what is needed to be in front of everybody, always. You notice how you were and to whom and why. It all shames me, in fact. Moreover I cannot remember the real reason behind all of that “unnecessary use of strength” so often in life. I know, surely it was always some good reason, but now it seems no more than mere wantonness. Utterances more than I remember, just this feeling of wantonness. To be strong leads to wantonness. And in the face of that anybody who knew me would probably say that I was behaving more or less like a civilised being, or even a gentle man. If I feel wanton, how must it be in really stupid people?
The world encourages heedlessness. Capitalism and all that shit that generally does not interest me. We all lie about the same fabric of lies and also know that we lie blatantly and lie more, but mendacity is terribly gruelling. It is gruelling for the individual with his little, familiar, if you like, banal lies, and then you also load the already tired individual with the infinite burden of civilised lies, bitter illusions of the history of mankind, that he carries and that he carries with him from the cradle to the grave, or which is nowadays popularly called “lifelong learning”.
The world encourages recklessness, to be strong is the real thing, and everyone is already weak since he is carrying a burden, thus the need to lie, to lie about your strength. So he gets even more tired under the burden of still bigger lies.
To start from the bottom, through weakness, may be an empowering experience. There are no lies and strength returns, but strength purifying and purged from illusions, from folly and pride, and it has a new quality.
Once I was strong, and I did not know that I am truly weak. Now that I am weak, I have received a new, true, strength. What all men learn as throughout life?! But all that is already written, I know, all that has been said, but you have not always eyes which read nor ears that hear.
It is a deaf time. Sunday. I wish everybody peace in heart, to all strong peace in heart, but to all weak, peace in mind.
20.09.2007. (13:09) - - - - - promjene spremljene- uredi komentar - obriši komentar - prijavi ovaj komentar kao spam - zabrani komentiranje autoru ovog komentara- učitavam...