- Don't be a whore! Be ANTI-Avril! -

How would I describe my music? I would describe my music as... Avril Lavigne."
That's really descriptive...

"Alanis and Shania are my female idols"
But if Alanis was your idol, why did you say...

"People like comparing me to Alanis. Sorry, I take baths"
Yes, I'm confused too.

-"I am so busy - I never get to eat"
Avril, look what happened to Mary-Kate Olsen...

"Modern music mostly sucks"
Well, spank my ass and call me Charlie, YOU ARE MODERN MUSIC!

"I won't let people push me around. If I did, I'd probably look like another Britney Spears."
Too late, you're already another Britney Spears...
"When things are very real and honest they don't go away."
Just like you...but replace 'real' with 'fake' and honest with 'hypocritical'...

"Oh, my God! I can't wait. I have so much to look forward to -
falling in love, getting married, having a house and family."
We don't need any clones of you, Avril, dear!

"I dress cool and I look hot so if you don't like it, SUCK IT!"
No, thank you...

"If anyone tries to kiss my butt I'll tell them 'shut the hell up'."
Who the fuck would want to kiss your ass?!


"No one actually comes up to me and says "You're not punk." but if they did I'd be like "I never fucking said I was!"
Reason: No one wants to talk to you.

Who are Nirvana, are they a rock band?"
Yes, they were a great band, and will always be, but then you said that you and Kurt were rock legends. His ghost is standing beside me, ready to pick you up and throw you into the pit of acid covered spikes. (Yes, I'm dreaming, but hey, who doesn't dream it?)

"My music is true rock."
Yeah, and JoJo is a true black R&B singer...

"No, no, no. Rock stardom. I don't like using the term pop star because that's not my personality. My personality is like a rock star. I'm hardcore."
Drawing fake tattoos is NOT hardcore. Talking shit in your songs is NOT hardcore. Therefore, you are NOT hard-fucking-core!!

"I'm as punk as they come."
For fuck's sake, people, here's the proof: Avril DID say she was punk. God, I'm so sick of people talking crap about. SHE neVA said She wAs PuNk!' She did say it. Now shut the fuck up!

"I wrote the whole album...well co-wrote it"
Someone get this girl a clue!

"Why would anyone want to watch shit like the Osbourne's?"
Maybe because unlike you, they're cool.

"I'm not a bitch or anything, but I can be a bitch. People want me to look all pretty and sexy for pictures, and it's just not my thing"
Sorry, sweetie, you're a bitch! And you've gotten*coughprettyandsexycough* a lot lately...

"Most songs out there are about banging and tits and ass and chicks"
You say 'ass' a lot in your songs...

"Why the hell does Justin Timberlake keep hitting on me? What the fuck is that?"
You know, I hate to say it, but I'd be pretty scared if that girly boy was hitting on me...

"I am the stubble queen!"
Proof she is a man in disguise.

"It's not Ahh-vril. It's Avril!"
No, it's biiii-itch! Biiii-itch!