Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
For the night was not impartial. No, the night loved some more than others, served some more than others.
Someone dragged me by my arms out onto the road, then shoved me, stumbling, down a paved road.
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.
Let not thy will roar, when thy power can but whisper.
For me, it's that I contributed, ... That I'm on this planet doing some good and making people happy. That's to me the most important thing, that my hour of television is positive and upbeat and an antidote for all the negative stuff going on in life.
Meetings are indispensable when you don't want to do anything.
Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire public relations officers.
More bodies were roughly shoved in beside me.
I felt the doors open near me, and then saw a confusion of booted feet moving close by.
We inhereit from our ancestors gifts so often taken for granted... Each of us contains within... this inheritance of soul. We are links between the ages, containing past and present expectations, sacred memories and future promise.
Listen. Do not have an opinion while you listen because frankly, your opinion doesn?t hold much water outside of Your Universe. Just listen. Listen until their brain has been twisted like a dripping towel and what they have to say is all over the floor.
The excellence of a gift lies in its appropriateness rather than in its value.
Rest is the sweet sauce of labor.
Do not be awe struck by other people and try to copy them. Nobody can be you as efficiently as you can.
Each body has its art...
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they're going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
Darryl wasn't in good shape -- he was white-faced and panting.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it.
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right.
The art of war is simple enough. Find out where your enemy is. Get at him as soon as you can. Strike him as hard as you can, and keep moving on.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
I guess we'd be living in a boring, perfect world if everybody wished everybody else well.
An idea is salvation by imagination.
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
I don't like composers who think. It gets in the way of their plagiarism.
I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.
The best of us must sometimes eat our words.
Anger at lies lasts forever. Anger at truth can't last.
Of all noises, I think music is the least disagreeable.
There is nothing more demoralizing than a small but adequate income.
When you want to believe in something, you also have to believe in everything that's necessary for believing in it.
I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and dated it Thanksgiving 1995. I put it in my wallet and it deteriorated. And then, just before Thanksgiving 1995, I found out I was going to make ten million dollars for Dumb & Dumber. I put that check in the casket with my father because it was our dream together.
You can have it all. You just can't have it all at once.
The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not 'Eureka!' (I found it!) but 'That's funny ...'
I like coincidences. They make me wonder about destiny, and whether free will is an illusion or just a matter of perspective. They let me speculate on the idea of some master plan that, from time to time, we're allowed to see out of the corner of our eye.
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
Our deeds determine us, as much as we determine our deeds.
There are always survivors at a massacre. Among the victors, if nowhere else.
Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.
We have too many high sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them.
You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.
Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you.
Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.
The freethinking of one age is the common sense of the next.
What some people mistake for the high cost of living is really the cost of high living.
The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
The car skidded to a stop just in front of me, and I jumped back and lost my balance and ended up on the road.
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this.
It is better to offer no excuse than a bad one.
Never read a book through merely because you have begun it.
I went up the stairs cautiously, not able to use my hands.
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Smell is a potent wizard that transports you across thousand of miles and all the years you have lived.
It is not enough to aim; you must hit.
Newspapermen learn to call a murderer 'an alleged murderer' and the King of England 'the alleged King of England' to avoid libel suits.
Depend not on another, but lean instead on thyself...True happiness is born of self-reliance.
The aim of life is self-development. To realize one's nature perfectly - that is what each of us is here for.
I ended up stepping on her stomach as the crowd pushed me past her, but by then I don't think she was feeling anything.
A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory.
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
Intimacy is what makes a marriage, not a ceremony, not a piece of paper from the state.
Normal is not something to aspire to, it's something to get away from.
Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.
I'd never really believed in terrorists before.
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me.
Maybe the most any of us can expect of ourselves isn't perfection but progress.
In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from.
Over the years your bodies become walking autobiographies, telling friends and strangers alike of the minor and major stresses of your lives.
When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
It's never just a game when you're winning.
Never despair; but if you do, work on in despair.
Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.
We owe something to extravagance, for thrift and adventure seldom go hand in hand.
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
From the moment I picked up your book until I laid it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.
You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play.
There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth.
Whatever you fear most has no power - it is your fear that has the power.
He had learned over the years that poor people did not feel so poor when allowed to give occasionally.
Go often to the house of thy friend; for weeds soon choke up the unused path.
No one gossips about other people's secret virtues.
More bodies were roughly shoved in beside me.
Set all things in their own peculiar place, and know that order is the greatest grace.
It is not much for its beauty that makes a claim upon men's hearts, as for that subtle something, that quality of air that emanates from old trees, that so wonderfully changes and renews a weary spirit.
Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted.
There's so much pollution in the air now that if it weren't for our lungs there'd be no place to put it all.
After I'm dead I'd rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Listen. Do not have an opinion while you listen because frankly, your opinion doesn?t hold much water outside of Your Universe. Just listen. Listen until their brain has been twisted like a dripping towel and what they have to say is all over the floor.
There is no nonsense so errant that it cannot be made the creed of the vast majority by adequate governmental action.
I?m telling you, things are getting out of hand. Or maybe I?m discovering that things were never in my hands.
There are plenty of good five-cent cigars in the country. The trouble is they cost a quarter. What this country needs is a good five-cent nickel.
There is surely a piece of divinity in us, something that was before the elements, and owes no homage unto the sun.
A synonym is a word you use when you can't spell the word you first thought of.
He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little.
Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?
TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.
He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little.
It's takin' whatever comes your way, the good AND the bad, that give life flavor. It's all the stuff rolled together that makes life worth livin'.
I was in total darkness now and I strained my ears to hear what was going on with my friends.
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer.
There is an applause superior to that of the multitudes: one's own.
It is not enough to aim; you must hit.
The toughest question has always been, "How do you get your ideas?" How do you answer that? It's like asking runners how they run, or singers how they sing. They just do it!
Intimacy is being seen and known as the person you truly are.
Every day you may make progress. Every step may be fruitful. Yet there will stretch out before you an ever-lengthening, ever-ascending, ever-improving path. You know you will never get to the end of the journey. But this, so far from discouraging, only adds to the joy and glory of the climb.
I didn't even breathe.
The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure.
The Americans have need of the telephone, but we do not. We have plenty of messenger boys.
A moment later, I caught my breath, but I didn't say anything.
What is the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?
The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible.
Is love supposed to last throughout all time, or is it like trains changing at random stops. If I loved her, how could I leave her? If I felt that way then, how come I don't feel anything now?
Nothing is as simple as we hope it will be.
Maybe they were terrorists!
The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
There are always survivors at a massacre. Among the victors, if nowhere else.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste.
No man remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself.
We make a living by what we get, we make a life by what we give.
To have a right to do a thing is not at all the same as to be right in doing it.
A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money.
Deeds, not words shall speak me.
Better shun the bait, than struggle in the snare.
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave.
I never vote for anyone; I always vote against.
You can't separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.
I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, "I wanna grow up and be a critic."
The problem is never how to get new, innovative thoughts into your mind, but how to get old ones out. Every mind is a building filled with archaic furniture. Clean out a corner of your mind and creativity will instantly fill it.
Go through your phone book, call people and ask them to drive you to the airport. The ones who will drive you are your true friends. The rest aren't bad people; they're just acquaintances.
The human mind treats a new idea the same way the body treats a strange protein; it rejects it.
Every man, wherever he goes, is encompassed by a cloud of comforting convictions, which move with him like flies on a summer day.
There is still a difference between something and nothing, but it is purely geometrical and there is nothing behind the geometry.
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty.
The trick is to make sure you don't die waiting for prosperity to come.
The pain of making the necessary sacrifices always hurts more than you think it's going to. I know. It sucks. That being said, doing something seriously creative is one of the most amazing experiences one can have, in this or any other lifetime. If you can pull it off, it's worth it. Even if you don't end up pulling it off, you'll learn many incredible, magical, valuable things. It's NOT doing it when you know you full well you HAD the opportunity- that hurts FAR more than any failure.
To do anything truly worth doing, I must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger, but jump in with gusto and scramble through as well as I can.
Listen. Do not have an opinion while you listen because frankly, your opinion doesn?t hold much water outside of Your Universe. Just listen. Listen until their brain has been twisted like a dripping towel and what they have to say is all over the floor.
He's simply got the instinct for being unhappy highly developed.
I am more and more convinced that our happiness or unhappiness depends more on the way we meet the events of life than on the nature of those events themselves.
Better by far you should forget and smile than you should remember and be sad.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
It's the opinion of some that crops could be grown on the moon. Which raises the fear that it may not be long before we're paying somebody not to.
A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.
The happiest is the person who suffers the least pain; the most miserable who enjoys the least pleasure.
There is only one thing a philosopher can be relied upon to do, and that is to contradict other philosophers.
Art is either plagiarism or revolution.
The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.
Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results. I know several thousand things that won't work.
Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack.
I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, "I wanna grow up and be a critic."
Maybe the most any of us can expect of ourselves isn't perfection but progress.
A doctor saves lives -- It's up to people to create lives that are worth saving.
Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.
Censorship, like charity, should begin at home; but, unlike charity, it should end there.
A mother is not a person to lean on but a person to make leaning unnecessary.
People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news.
Never despair; but if you do, work on in despair.
When you close your doors, and make darkness within, remember never to say that you are alone, for you are not alone; nay, God is within, and your genius is within. And what need have they of light to see what you are doing?
Sometimes the cure for restlessness is rest.
When we lose one we love, our bitterest tears are called forth by the memory of hours when we loved not enough.
It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.
I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.
To avoid situations in which you might make mistakes may be the biggest mistake of all.
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
A mind troubled by doubt cannot focus on the course to victory.
Never make a defense or an apology until you are accused.
Summer afternoon - Summer afternoon... the two most beautiful words in the English language.
Nothing changes your opinion of a friend so surely as success - yours or his.
A conference is a gathering of important people who singly can do nothing, but together can decide that nothing can be done.
I had no idea how much of this was making it through the muffling bag.
Like anyone else, there are days I feel beautiful and days I don't, and when I don't, I do something about it.
Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.
Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It's much sexier than any body part.
I'm glad I didn't have to fight in any war. I'm glad I didn't have to pick up a gun. I'm glad I didn't get killed or kill somebody. I hope my kids enjoy the same lack of manhood.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad to realize that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days.
The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said.
Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
I'm going to stay in show business until I'm the last one left.
I love my past. I love my present. I'm not ashamed of what I've had, and I'm not sad because I have it no longer.
No man remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself.
Always be nice to those younger than you, because they are the ones who will be writing about you.
It is better to wear out than to rust out.
I used to believe that marriage would diminish me, reduce my options. That you had to be someone less to live with someone else when, of course, you have to be someone more.
It is easier to exclude harmful passions than to rule them, and to deny them admittance than to control them after they have been admitted.
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
The mellow sweetness of pumpkin pie off a prison spoon is something you will never forget.
Darryl wasn't in good shape -- he was white-faced and panting.
Patriotism is your conviction that this country is superior to all other countries because you were born in it.
It is my hope that I can assist you in getting here too.
We cannot deny the facts of nature, but we should certainly try to improve on them.
Get pleasure out of life...as much as you can. Nobody ever died from pleasure.
Never be a cynic, even a gentle one. Never help out a sneer, even at the devil.
I think people want their illusions and writers are mostly illusion. When you read their words, you read a flattened, incomplete version of the writer.
The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.
Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it.
Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.
He who will not reason is a bigot; he who cannot is a fool; and he who dares not is a slave.
No man remains quite what he was when he recognizes himself.
It is easier to exclude harmful passions than to rule them, and to deny them admittance than to control them after they have been admitted.
The car skidded to a stop just in front of me, and I jumped back and lost my balance and ended up on the road.
The freedom of all is essential to my freedom.
Van's sweater was soaked in blood.
In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Because we don't think about future generations, they will never forget us.
I heard Jolu respond, then felt the thump he was dealt, too.
Now is the time for all good men to come to.
'Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today.' Under the influence of this pestilent morality, I am forever letting tomorrow's work slop backwards into today's, and doing painfully and nervously today what I could do quickly and easily tomorrow.
When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.
Best wide-angle lens? Two steps backward. Look for the 'ah-ha'.
Worries go down better with soup than without.
Keep on going and the chances are you will stumble on something, perhaps when you are least expecting it. I have never heard of anyone stumbling on something sitting down.
We learn and grow and are transformed not so much by what we do but by why and how we do it.
Let us so live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?
In America, through pressure of conformity, there is freedom of choice, but nothing to choose from.
A man without ambition is dead. A man with ambition but no love is dead. A man with ambition and love for his blessings here on earth is ever so alive. Having been alive, it won't be so hard in the end to lie down and rest.
Where so many hours have been spent in convincing myself that I am right, is there not some reason to fear I may be wrong?
Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.
An honest politician is one who, when he is bought, will stay bought.
Maybe they were terrorists!
I never met anybody who said when they were a kid, "I wanna grow up and be a critic."
A man can do all things if he but wills them.
Anxiety is the dizziness of freedom.
My pessimism extends to the point of even suspecting the sincerity of the pessimists.
I don't like composers who think. It gets in the way of their plagiarism.
Sometimes love will pick you up by the short hairs...and jerk the heck out of you.
A man can do all things if he but wills them.
Peace is when time doesn't matter as it passes by.
She got her looks from her father. He's a plastic surgeon.
History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.
I am more and more convinced that our happiness or unhappiness depends more on the way we meet the events of life than on the nature of those events themselves.
I've never quite believed that one chance is all I get.
Human beings have an inalienable right to invent themselves.
God creates men, but they choose each other.
A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.
Whatever you fear most has no power - it is your fear that has the power.
Now is the time for all good men to come to.
Never make a defense or an apology until you are accused.
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
Speak when you are angry--and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
Whenever you have an efficient government you have a dictatorship.
You know what's interesting about Washington? It's the kind of place where second-guessing has become second nature.
A man without ambition is dead. A man with ambition but no love is dead. A man with ambition and love for his blessings here on earth is ever so alive. Having been alive, it won't be so hard in the end to lie down and rest.
The most important thing she'd learned over the years was that there was no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.
Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.
Beware the pull on your heartstrings -- it's often the pursestrings that are actually being reached for.
Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.
As I get older, I've learned to listen to people rather than accuse them of things.
Our imagination is the only limit to what we can hope to have in the future.
Do it now. It is not safe to leave a generous feeling to the cooling influences of the world.
There is an applause superior to that of the multitudes: one's own.
You have to recognize when the right place and the right time fuse and take advantage of that opportunity. There are plenty of opportunities out there. You can't sit back and wait.
Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady.
There is still a difference between something and nothing, but it is purely geometrical and there is nothing behind the geometry.
It is a paradoxical but profoundly true and important principle of life that the most likely way to reach a goal is to be aiming not at that goal itself but at some more ambitious goal beyond it.
We rarely think people have good sense unless they agree with us.
As a well-spent day brings happy sleep, so life well used brings happy death.
The roses, the lovely notes, the dining and dancing are all welcome and splendid. But when the Godiva is gone, the gift of real love is having someone who'll go the distance with you. Someone who, when the wedding day limo breaks down, is willing to share a seat on the bus.
I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
All great truths begin as blasphemies.
Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.
Forget injuries, never forget kindnesses.
Best wide-angle lens? Two steps backward. Look for the 'ah-ha'.
Have you ever observed that we pay much more attention to a wise passage when it is quoted than when we read it in the original author?
Seize opportunity by the beard, for it is bald behind.
Sometimes love will pick you up by the short hairs...and jerk the heck out of you.
We play the hands of cards life gives us. And the worst hands can make us the best players.
You know what's interesting about Washington? It's the kind of place where second-guessing has become second nature.
I nearly fell again, but new hands grabbed me from in front and dragged me down a steel floor and then forced me to my knees and locked my hands to something behind me.
If you scatter thorns, don't go barefoot.
There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth.
I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter.
That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.
Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn whatever state I am in, therin to be content
When we are unhurried and wise, we perceive that only great and worthy things have any permanent and absolute existence, that petty fears and petty pleasures are but the shadow of the reality.
Do what you feel in your heart to be right - for you'll be criticized anyway. You'll be damned if you do, and damned if you don't.
Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.
I'd learned my lesson.
You can learn as much - or more - from one glance at a private space as you can from hours of exposure to a public face.
When I was a kid my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
You cannot be mad at somebody who makes you laugh - it's as simple as that.
It is not much for its beauty that makes a claim upon men's hearts, as for that subtle something, that quality of air that emanates from old trees, that so wonderfully changes and renews a weary spirit.
Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady.
Never let the demands of tomorrow interfere with the pleasures and excitement of today.
A smiling face is half the meal.
The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
There?s so much comedy on television. Does that cause comedy in the streets?
The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone.
I daresay one profits more by the mistakes one makes off one's own bat than by doing the right thing on somebody's else advice.
My head rang like a gong.
The undertaking of a new action brings new strength.
I've gone into hundreds of fortune-teller's parlors, and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her.
Good habits, which bring our lower passions and appetites under automatic control, leave our natures free to explore the larger experiences of life.
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
When you encounter difficulties and contradictions, do not try to break them, but bend them with gentleness and time.
I said to myself, I have things in my head that are not like what anyone has taught me - shapes and ideas so near to me - so natural to my way of being and thinking that it hasn't occurred to me to put them down. I decided to start anew, to strip away what I had been taught.
At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
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