ponedjeljak, 19.09.2005.

Na kraju dana

Ležeci na krevetu drhtim.Hladno mi je.Hladnoca i tuga moje sobe
me uništava,podjednako kao i moje misli.Sve vidim crno,a tako i razmisljam.
Cesto uvecer razmisljam o buducnosti,a nikada je ne vidim,a ako je nekad
ugledam,jadna je.Vidim sebe dva metra ispod zemlje,a svoje bliznje unistene
truloscu ove drzave.Vrhovni celnici se osmjehuju,a džep im je sve bogatiji
novcem i unistenim ljudskim dusama.Sve vise ima siromastva i ljudske tuge.
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Tako dok ležim pitam se cemu ovaj zivot vodi?Da budemo neciji robovi i sluge?
Mislim da se zbog toga ne isplati zivjeti.Koji je smisao zivota cesto se pitam.
Ljudi kazu sreca,obitelj,ali ja to jednostavno ne vidim.Tako razmisljajuci o
zivotu kopam po svom umu i dolazim do crnih trenutaka svoje proslosti.
Suze mi naviru na oci i tada iz mojih ociju potjece rijeka.Sjetim se svoje
teznje za smrti i opet to jos vise zelim.Shvacam da je moja bol prevelika i da
zelim umrijeti i onda kujem svoj plan.Plan samoubojstva.Sredstvo i vrijeme.
Vremena imam,ali sredstva bas i ne.Ne zelim to ponoviti,ali tama me odvuce u
jos crnije misli.Iznenada misli mi odlutaju na moju majku i svu njenu ljubav
usmjerenu na mene i tad se jos vise rasplacen.Mislim sto bi bilo s njom kad mene
više ne bi bilo?I plan onda nije savrsen,ali ipak mislim da me nitko ne voli nego
da sam samo jedno sredstvo kojim netko upravlja i hrani se tugom i gorcinom
njegove boli.I onda se sjetim da ni nemam pravih prijatelja nego samo dvolicne
osobe koje me iza leda ogovaraju i u lice mi lazu.Mislim da sam paranoicna.Poslije
se sjetim svoje sestre koju prezirem iz dubine duse.Svi me usporeduju s njom i
misle da sam isto bice kao i ona!Dok je ona savrseno djete ja sam crna ovca i
stalno me ispravljaju i moj jadni zivot usporeduju s njenim savrsenim zivotom.
E pa nece ici.U svojim mislima ima jedan posebni dio koji je odvojen za planove
kojima cu joj nanjeti maksimalnu bol od koje ce tesko pobjeci.Tek tada cu bit
iskreno sretna!Cesto lezeci i zatvorenih ociju mislim o skoli.Nisan tako losa.
Nadam se da ce sve bit u redu.Samo mi to ostaje.Nada.Napokon na kraju dana
tog mucnog utonem u san pun boli sa nadom da ce sutra ipak biti sve puno
bolje i ljepse,a ako pogledam i razmislin realno nece.Stalno ce se moje misli na
kraju svakog dana vrtit u krug do krajnje tocke.Samoubojstva.

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ABOUT ME
Iden u 2. razred MIOCA
volin:
slusat punk i ska,a nekad
rock i grunge
citat knjige
ic na koncerte
izac sa ekipon
svoje prijatelje
svirat bubnjeve
filmove
stripove
psihologiju
zapalit sa ekipon
:
:
:

The long shadow
Well I'll tell you one thing that I know
You don't face your demons down
You gotta grapple 'em Jack and pin 'em to the ground
The devil may care, maybe god he won't
You better make sure you check on the do's and the don'ts

Crawl up a moutain
To reach where the eagles fly
To show you can glimpse from the mountian top
where the soul of the muse might ride

And if you put it all together
You won't have to look around
You know you cast a long shadow on the ground

Then one day I could tell my tracks
About the holes in the soles of my shoes
And thats the day I said I'm gonna make the news

And fallen back in the garden
The days so long ago
Somewhere in the memory
The sun shines on you boy

And playing in the Arroyo's
where the american rivers flow
From the Appalachians
Down to the Delta Roads

A man can think so long
His brain could well explode
The strings runnin' through the junctions
A king comes down the road

And if you put it all together
You won't have to look around
You know you cast a long shadow on the ground

Listen to the country
The night jar and the bell
Listen to the night stream lineup
Soundin' like the wolves of hell

Head for the water
The waters of the cleansing spell
It was always our destination
On the express of the ne'ver do wells

And we rocked through Madison's city
And we didn't even know she was there
And when we hit the bumpers in Memphis
Beale street didn't have no prayer

And I hear punks talk of anarchy
I hear hobo's on the railroads
I hear mutterings on the chain gangs
It was those men who built the roads

And if you put it all together
You didn't even once relent
You cast a long shadow
And that is your testament

Somewhere in my soul
There's always rock and roll
Yeaaaah!

Redemption song
Old pirates, yes, they rob I;
Sold I to the merchant ships,
Minutes after they took I
From the bottomless pit.
But my hand was made strong
By the hand of the all mighty.
We forward in this generation
Triumphantly.
Won't you help to sing
these songs of freedom
'Cause all I ever have:
Redemption songs
Redemption songs
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our minds.
Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them can stop the time
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look
Some say it's just a part of it:
We've got to fulfill de book.
Won't you help to sing
the songs of freedom
'Cause all I ever have:
Redemption songs
Redemption songs
Redemption songs
Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery;
None but ourselves can free our mind.
Have no fear for atomic energy,
'Cause none of them can stop the time
How long shall they kill our prophets,
While we stand aside and look?
Some say it's just a part of it:
We've got to fulfil the book.
Won't you help to sing
These songs of freedom? -
'Cause all I ever had:
Redemption songs -
All I ever had:
Redemption songs:
These songs of freedom,
Songs of freedom.

Silver and gold
I'm gonna go out dancin' every night,
I'm gonna see all the city lights,
And do everything silver and gold,
I got to hurry up before I grow too old.
I'm gonna take a trip around the world,
I'm gonna kiss all the pretty girls,
And do everything silver and gold
And I got to hurry up before I grow too old.

Oh, I do alotta things I know is wrong,
Hope I'm forgiven before I'm gone,
It'll take alotta prayers to save my soul,
But I got to hurry up before I grow too old.
I'm gonna take a trip around the world,
Gonna kiss all the pretty girls,
Who do everything silver and gold,
And I got to hurry up before I grow too old, whhoooo.

Yea, I gonna go out dancin' every night,
I'm gonna see all your city lights,
I'm gonna do everything silver and gold,
And I've got to hurry up before I grow too old
WeeeeeOooooooooo.





Sinhro

Promenicu svet do kraja pesme.
Igracu pijani ples u ritmu vetra
Pusticu sunce da topi ljubav,
izmedju sveta daleko od nas.

Dosao sam da te nosim,
da se ne bojis,
da ne govoris nema me,
da zatvoris oci,
da ne zaboravis rec po rec.

Dosao sam da te nosim
u kuce mojih predaka,
da ti pricam da noci nema,
da odustanes,
da zelja je glad je vatra.

Promenicu jezik, pokret, telo.
Govoricu reci tudje pesme.
Dosao sam da ti kazem cuvaj me.
Moj korak je moje ime,
Cuvaj me!

Dosao sam da te nosim,
da se ne bojis..

Dosao sam da te nosim
u kuce mojih predaka..

Dosao sam da te nosim,
da se ne bojis..