golly&bossy

petak, 22.05.2009.

I konji opraštaju, zar ne? / They eat horses, don't they?

Dragi Naši,
Je li se spominjete kad smo ono živili u Nigdjezemskoj? E tamo smo blizu stana imali jednu običnu samoposlugu u kojon su se prodavali i egzotičnije stvari tipa meso od noja, krokodila i klokana. I tamo smo jedan dan kupili niku salamu. Na njoj je pisalo Paarderook. Nigdjezemski nismo znali, ali zaključili smo da je to nešto dobro i jestivo. Doma smo je jili s Cimericom
Cimerica: Dobra je ova salama.
Min: Mhm, odlična je
Cimerica: I ovo je kako dimljena
Min: E. Čini mi se da je ovo govedina, a ne svinjetina...
Cimerica: E, e. Stvarno je dobra. Moramo je ponovo kupit.
Min: Mmmmm.....
Cimerica: Mmmmmm.......

Par dana kasnije doša je jedan gladni prijatelj Musliman. Spremno smo mu ponudili salamu: “ovo ti je odlično. I čini mi se da ni svinjetina, nego govedina.” On je vaze paket i reka: “A je li ti znaš što je ovo?”. Min smo rekli “govedina, mislin”. “Ovo ti je salama od konja. Paard je konj.”
O nebesa otvorite se, Zemljo, progutaj nas. Totalno smo se zgrozili nad samima sobom, kako smo mogli jist konja, tu prekrasnu i plemenitu beštiju. I znamo da se konj ji, ali on je nama toliko visoko na piramidi prehrane da nan je to bilo stvarno svetogrđe. Prin bi pasa izili i mašku. Što je najgore, svugdi po gradu su bili plakati od Marlbora s konjima u trku koji su nas samo podsjećali na našu sramotu.

Back in the days we used to live in the Neverlands. Close to our home there was an ordinary supermarket with exotic stuff like ostrich, kangaroo or crocodile meet. One day we bought some sort of salami there. It said Parderook on the packaging but we spoke no neverlandish, so we decided it is something good. At home we ate it with our Flatmate.
The Flatmate: This is good salami.
Us: mhm, it is really good.
b>The Flatmate: It is a bit smoked, I think
Us: Yes. And I think this is beef, not pork…
The Flatmate: Right. It is really good. We have to buy it again
Us: Mmmmm...
The Flatmate: Mmmmm...

Few days later a hungry Muslim friend stopped by. We offerd him the salami: “You have to try this, it is excellent. And I think it is beef, not pork.” He took the package and asked: “Do you know what this is?”. ”Beef, I think.” He enlightened us ”This is horse meet. Paard means horse.”
Oh, no. No, no, no… We shudder with revulsion. How could we eat the horse, that beautiful and noble animal. We no that many people eat horse, but he is so high on our nutritional pyramid that it was total blasphemy for us. We’d rather eat a dog and a cat. To make things worse, everywhere around the city there were Marlboro billboards with running horses that were reminding us on our shame.

A sramota nas je progonila godinama. I tek smo nikidan uspili pogledat konjima u oči. Bili smo naime na hipodromu. Jooo, što je tamo lipo. Mir, zelenilo i konji. I restoran u kojem smo jili paštetu od ribe, buzaru od školjki i jednega pečenega arbuna. Ali s tim životinjama nemamo problema kad nan se nađu na meniju. Dapače.

The shame was with us for years. We managed to come clean before a horse just few days ago. As it happended we were at the hippodrome. It is soooo beautifull there. The peace, the green outdoors and the horses. There is also a restourant where we ate fish pate, shells and a sea-bream. But we don’t have problems if those animals are on our plate. On the contrary.

Dakle. Mir, zelenilo i konji.