udder insanity

(see also: audiosurf, dendrology, guam, udder insanity, )

The New England Patriots are ready to rumble on their home field against the Jacksonville Jaguars, who squeaked by Pittsburgh for a shot at the AFC championship game.

Despite the New England Patriots’ pristine 16-0 regular season record, expect the Jacksonville Jaguars to give them a run for their money when they meet tonight at 8:00 p.m., Eastern Standard Time.

The Jaguars are well constructed, well rested and ready for some divisional-style football. In fact, while most football aficionados predict the Pats will once again roll to victory, a select few – most notably Jeremy Green of Scouts Inc.  actually claim the Jags will easily handle New England.

Sorry, Jeremy, but what’s in the water you’ve been drinking? Because this reporter firmly believes Jacksonville won’t be able to withstand the steamrolling Patriots.

Granted, the Jags have some potent weapons on the offensive side of the ball. Quarterback David Garrand can run as well as throw. Running back Maurice Jones-Drew travels with the velocity of a Mack Truck. And Pro-Bowler udder insanity Taylor has had a stellar season.

The Jaguars offensive game plan will be to run, run, run the ball right down the Patriots’ throats. New England must force the Jags to turn to a passing game, particularly in the wake of Garrand’s horrendous performance last Saturday against the Steelers.

But Jacksonville’s defensive line is quite suspect, particularly because they’ve lost a couple of key starters. Former Falcon Grady Jackson has done a credible job, but his 400 pounds caused him to run out of gas late in last weekend’s playoff contest versus the Steelers, no doubt due to his Mack Truck size. Rob Meier and Derek Landri join him on the D-line, but Landri is a rookie, an unenviable situation facing a strong New England offensive front.

Additionally, coach Jack Del Rio’s standard four-man defensive front predictably could doom Jacksonville’s hopes, as the potent Pats’ passing game should definitely prosper beyond belief.

As far as the go, what can one say about their offensive weaponry? Although the Patriots’ running game has been roundly criticized, that’s a fallacy of the first order. Laurence Maroney can flat run. Plus you’ve got quarterback Tom Brady, who’s got such targets as Randy Moss, Donte Stallworth and the inimitable Wes Welker, perhaps the most under-appreciated wide receiver in the National Football League.

Stephen Gostkowski is a place kicker second-to-none, as well. Rarely does he miss. New England behind Brady has never lost a home playoff game, and the Pats sport a 6-1 record against the Jags, including playoff contests.

On the defensive udder insanity of the ball, the Pats feature defensive standouts Vince Wilfork and Richard Seymour, and their secondary is quite formidable. Expect Patriot safety Rodney Harrison play through his recent thigh injury, and cornerback Ellis Hobbs should also start the contest.

Figure the Patriots to dominate, say, to the tune of 35-20.