purdue boilermakers

(related: butch jones, central michigan, chippewas, purdue boilermakers, )

While most experts would have you believe that the fate of the NCAA tourney depends on the skills of the players on the court and the coaches on the sideline and how much money the deans pay off the refs to give them the calls I have a different theory.

The NCAA March Madness tourney can be predicted properly simply using the mascot names and the famous alumni and several other factors that will be fed into a computer giving me the proper picks.

Follow me for todays team previews of the Midwest region

1. Florida Gators

Famous Alumni- Bob Vila, Apprentice Winner Kendra Tod, Mel Tillis, Stephen Root, Buddy Epsen, The baseball player with so much grit and hustle I dont have to list his name, Rich Fields, Faye Dunaway, Todd Barry,

Mascots Ability To Win a Fight- 8/10

Interesting Factoid- Xhosa Language is a class offered

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iIqc6M-wHjQ

2. Wisconsin Badgers

Famous Alumni- Brooks Bollinger? Joan Cusack? Micheal Mann, Joyce Carol Oates, the salesman from the Connan O Brien sketches, Butch Vig,

Mascots ability to win a fight- 5/10

Interesting Tidbit- Can be heckled using lines from UHF

Best Youtube Video

3. Oregon Ducks

Famous Alumni- Ken Kesey, that QB they had who played classical piano?

Mascots purdue boilermakers -1/10

Tidbit- They do not wear color changing basketball uniforms as far as I know

Best Youtube Video

4. Maryland Shellbacks

Famous Alumni- Bonnie Bernstein, Len Bias, Connie Chung, Larry David, Giuliana DePandi,

Mascot fighting - 1.5/10

Tidbit- Promotes cocaine use

Best Youtube video

5. British Butler Bulldogs

Famous Alumni- Peter Lupus.. you know the guy from Muscle Beach Party.

Mascot Fight- 11/10. No one fucks with the British Bulldog.

Tidbit - March 21 is a special seminar about gays and lesbians in the media

Best Youtube video

6. Norte Dame Fighting Irish

Famous Alumni- Jesus Christ, George Wendt. Many confuse these two as the same person

Mascot Fighting - Depends on how drunk the Irishman is

Tidbit- Rudy is not listed as a starter for the tourney

Best Youtube video

7. UNLV Running Rebels

Famous Alumni - Suge Knight.

Mascot Fighting - I fear Suge Knight. 125/10

Tidbit- Suge Knight is a scary man

Best Youtube Video

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8. Arizona Wildcats

As part of my rebellion against the name Wildcats all team having this name will instead of the following as a preview

9. Purdue Boilermakers

Famous Alumni- Orville Redenbacher, Neil Armstrong, Drew purdue boilermakers Mole, and the inventor of fiberglass

Mascot Fighting Ability- 3/10. He could throw the boilers he makes I guess. 

Tidbit- Naming your team the Boilermakers is still better than the Wildcats

Best Youtube purdue boilermakers href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=hav-VXJkBfs">

10. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets

Famous Alumni- Jeff Foxworthy has a college degree?

Mascot fighting- Well bees can sting but kennedy center honors tend to die after they do so. I guess that makes it a -2/10

Tidbit- They admitted Jeff Foxworthy

Best Youtube Video

11. Winthrop Golden Eagles

Famous Alumni- That one guy& and that other guy who knew that first guy

Mascot Fighting- How can you get through the gold plating of a golden eagle? 10/10

Tidbit- The PIKE Fraternity has been placed on probation due to the rape of a girl after high amounts of alcohol were consumed

Best Youtube Video

12. Old Dominion Monarchs

Famous Alumni - Justin Verlander, the band Mae

Mascot Fighting - Monarchs have full power over everyone not named Suge Knight. 21/10

Tidbit- Nearly purdue boilermakers percent of its students are from the state of Virginia

Best Youtube video

13. Davidson WILDCATS

Episode 2

14. Miami (OH) Redhawks

Famous Alumni - Bad motorcycle driver, Jessica Simpsons ex-husband

Mascot Fighting- Im not sure how much purdue boilermakers hawk being red really helps. 7/10

Tidbit - NOT in Florida

Best Youtube video

15. Texas A&M Corpus Christi Islanders whose Mascot is Named Izzy

Famous carlos sousa jr. That guy from Winthrop came and got his graduate degree here

Mascot Fighting- Islanders are a fairly lame mascot, this coming from the kid whose schools nickname is the Trailblazers. 4/10

Tidbit- Has a long name

Best Youtube Video

16. Jackson State Tigers

Famous Alumni- I hear Walter Payton was a good football player

Mascot Fighting- Better than the actual odds of the team winning

Tidbit- 97% percent of the students are black
Best Youtube Video

My predictions?

Florida, Purdue, Butler, Maryland, Norte Dame, Miami (Of Not Floria), UNLV, Wisc

Second Round: Florida, Butler, Notre Dame, UNLV

Third Round: Florida, UNLV

Finals: UNLV