katie holmes

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I am fascinated by marathon runners. katie holmes fascination is, as usual, rooted in jealousy. I WANT TO RUN THE NEW YORK CITY MARATHON. I will, seriously. I will. No, seriously, someday. Seriously.

In addition to some intense mental preparation and months (years?) of physical training, I will have to put a lot of thought, research, and trial into choosing the appropriate marathon clothes. Im a little bit of a weirdo and a fanatic when it comes to workout clothes. Obviously, Id love to look adorable while working out.  Adorable and katie holmes coordinated, but who has the time, money, energy etc. for that? Not me. The drawer that holds workout clothes is where all of my other,  this-doesnt-really-fit-but-why-throw-it-out clothes come to die. A tank top that Ill no katie holmes wear in public? Gym attire. The shorts that shrank in the dryer and are fraying at the bottom? Gym attire. Needless to say, I dont look good at the gym. But this doesnt matter to me. The only thing that matters to me when Im working out, clothing wise, is boob related. Or, more specifically, boob jiggling related. I cannot deal with any movement/bouncing in that area, at all. If ripping duct tape off my skin wasnt painful, Id tape my chest down before engaging in any type of cardiovascular activity, or even just to lift weights. Instead, I wear two sports bras, one on katie holmes of the other. Once I add a tank top to the two sports bras, there are a lot of straps going on which, although annoying, is completely necessary to hold everything in place.

Given my fanaticism with non-flapping-around-breasts, you can see why Ive been staring at this picture for about ten minutes with my mouth wide open in amazement.

My first thought was, Wow! Katie Holmes ran the katie holmes Marathon today? Thats awesome! Great for her, Im so jealous.

About a millisecond after this thought came another, more shocked and panicked thought, wait WHAT? Katie Holmes ran 26.2 miles without a sports bra? WITHOUT EVEN ONE SPORTS BRA?

Then my mouth hung open for the aforementioned ten minutes while I looked at picture after picture of her, trying to find one of her in katie holmes bra, one of her taking off a sports bra, one of her hiding a sports bra, ANY evidence that her ridiculously expensive I can train you to run this race in under 3 months Hollywood/Scientology-esque hasnt brainwashed her into thinking that breast pain is somehow necessary and fun. I cant imagine how tired and sore a regular person who wore the right attire would be after running for katie holmes many miles, yet alone how Katies breast tissue must feel right now. God, ouch.