I have come to the conclusion that politics are too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
Your parents, they give you your life, but then they try to give you their life.
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
We bear the world and we make it... There was never a great man who had not a great mother - it is hardly an exaggeration.
Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.
Make a decision, even if it's wrong.
The older I grow, the less important the comma becomes. Let the reader catch his own breath.
He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little.
We owe something to extravagance, for thrift and adventure seldom go hand in hand.
Man is the only animal that can remain on friendly terms with the victims he intends to eat until he eats them.
Never eat more than you can lift.
The habit of giving only enhances the desire to give.
I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education.
I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
Sooner or later, we've got to work at it, no matter how many other careers we've had or wanted.
Get pleasure out of life...as much as you can. Nobody ever died from pleasure.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
The toughest thing about success is that you've got to keep on being a success. Talent is only a starting point in this business. You've got to keep on working that talent. Someday I'll reach for it and it won't be there.
At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
You freeze where you are, time stops, and your heart thunders in your ears.
The first duty of a leader is to make himself be loved without courting love. To be loved without 'playing up' to anyone - even to himself.
As long as you derive inner help and comfort from anything, keep it.
When we are unhurried and wise, we perceive that only great and worthy things have any permanent and absolute existence, that petty fears and petty pleasures are but the shadow of the reality.
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.
We have really everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language.
Vigorous writing is concise.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
You should not live one way in private, another in public.
There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.
We rocked to a stop still on a downslope.
We are inclined to believe those whom we do not know because they have never deceived us.
When you have got an elephant by the hind leg, and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
I don't think about risks much. I just do what I want to do. If you gotta go, you gotta go.
A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth.
You create your opportunities by asking for them.
While we have the gift of life, it seems to me that only tragedy is to allow part of us to die - whether it is our spirit, our creativity, or our glorious uniqueness.
You could get on a boat there, get away. That fit with the terrorism hypothesis.
I was in total darkness now and I strained my ears to hear what was going on with my friends.
Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today.
When all is said and done, the weather and love are the two elements about which one can never be sure.
In all affairs it's a healthy thing now and then to hang a question mark on the things you have long taken for granted.
It is a profitable thing, if one is wise, to seem foolish.
If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.
We rocked to a stop still on a downslope.
I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty... But I am too busy thinking about myself.
The strongest possible piece of advice I would give any young woman is: Don't screw around, and don't smoke.
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
Never does the human soul appear so strong and noble as when it foregoes revenge and dares to forgive an injury.
This world is given as the prize for the men in earnest; and that which is true of this world, is truer still of the world to come.
Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well informed about the United States.
Seize opportunity by the beard, for it is bald behind.
Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.
Beware the pull on your heartstrings -- it's often the pursestrings that are actually being reached for.
I take it that what all men are really after is some form or perhaps only some formula of peace.
I daresay one profits more by the mistakes one makes off one's own bat than by doing the right thing on somebody's else advice.
All things are difficult before they are easy.
The first duty of a revolutionary is to get away with it.
Van was screaming something and Jolu was shouting and I looked at them for a second and that was when someone put a coarse.
I kept talking. "Listen -- this is some kind of misunderstanding.
The most beautiful adventures are not those we go to seek.
Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.
Where facts are few, experts are many.
I like coincidences. They make me wonder about destiny, and whether free will is an illusion or just a matter of perspective. They let me speculate on the idea of some master plan that, from time to time, we're allowed to see out of the corner of our eye.
If you think taking care of yourself is selfish, change your mind. If you don't, you're simply ducking your responsibilities.
If a cluttered desk is the sign of a cluttered mind, what is the significance of a clean desk?
Best wide-angle lens? Two steps backward. Look for the 'ah-ha'.
He will always be a slave who does not know how to live upon a little.
Experience is a good teacher, but she send in terrific bills.
If you're trying to take a roomful of people by surprise, it's a lot easier to hit your targets if you don't yell going through the door.
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
How to Raise your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children
Silent gratitude isn't much use to anyone.
The better part of valor is discretion, in the which better part I have saved my life.
Never part without loving words to think of during your absence. It may be that you will not meet again in life.
We owe something to extravagance, for thrift and adventure seldom go hand in hand.
Anything looked at closely becomes wonderful.
The first duty of a leader is to make himself be loved without courting love. To be loved without 'playing up' to anyone - even to himself.
There is nothing more dreadful than imagination without taste.
The secret of greatness is simple: do better work than any other man in your field - and keep on doing it.
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
If we fall, we don't need self-recrimination or blame or anger - we need a reawakening of our intention and a willingness to recommit, to be whole-hearted once again.
If it weren't for baseball, many kids wouldn't know what a millionaire looked like.
It felt like they used a baton or something -- it was harder than anyone had ever hit me in the head before.
Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.
Peace is when time doesn't matter as it passes by.
The average person thinks he isn't.
I ran the wrong kind of business, but I did it with integrity.
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and dated it Thanksgiving 1995. I put it in my wallet and it deteriorated. And then, just before Thanksgiving 1995, I found out I was going to make ten million dollars for Dumb & Dumber. I put that check in the casket with my father because it was our dream together.
For the most part, fear is nothing but an illusion. When you share it with someone else, it tends to disappear.
If you think you can win, you can win. Faith is necessary to victory.
Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.
You could get on a boat there, get away. That fit with the terrorism hypothesis.
So act that your principle of action might safely be made a law for the whole world.
She screamed as she went down, and I saw her thrashing to get up, but she couldn't, the crowd's pressure was too strong.
If you would be known, and not know, vegetate in a village; If you would know, and not be known, live in a city.
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
Reading well is one of the great pleasures that solitude can afford you.
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
Never fear the want of business. A man who qualifies himself well for his calling, never fails of employment.
It's very hard to take yourself too seriously when you look at the world from outer space.
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
Be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.
Shake off all the fears of servile prejudices, under which weak minds are servilely crouched. Fix reason firmly in her seat, and call on her tribunal for every fact, every opinion. Question with boldness even the existence of a God; because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason than that of blindfolded fear.
Who were these clowns?
The average person thinks he isn't.
I have enjoyed greatly the second blooming... suddenly you find - at the age of 50, say - that a whole new life has opened before you.
Exercise ferments the humors, casts them into their proper channels, throws off redundancies, and helps nature in those secret distributions, without which the body cannot subsist in its vigor, nor the soul act with cheerfulness.
What can you say about a society that says that God is dead and Elvis is alive?
The car slewed to a stop and only then did I notice that it wasn't a cop car, ambulance or fire-engine.
Be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.
Science is nothing but developed perception, interpreted intent, common sense rounded out and minutely articulated.
It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.
It's the soul's duty to be loyal to its own desires. It must abandon itself to its master passion.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.
I don't generally feel anything until noon; then it's time for my nap.
After all it is those who have a deep and real inner life who are best able to deal with the irritating details of outer life.
Our own physical body possesses a wisdom which we who inhabit the body lack.
The lesson which life repeats and constantly enforces is 'look under foot.' You are always nearer the divine and the true sources of your power than you think.
How we treasure (and admire) the people who acknowledge us!
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
If a dog jumps in your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.
Any transition serious enough to alter your definition of self will require not just small adjustments in your way of living and thinking but a full-on metamorphosis.
Nothing great in the world has been accomplished without passion.
Have you ever observed that we pay much more attention to a wise passage when it is quoted than when we read it in the original author?
Famous remarks are very seldom quoted correctly.
The average person thinks he isn't.
When they discover the center of the universe, a lot of people will be disappointed to discover they are not it.
On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done just as easily lying down.
It's innocence when it charms us, ignorance when it doesn't.
The art of dining well is no slight art, the pleasure not a slight pleasure.
When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest.
Under democracy one party always devotes its chief energies to trying to prove that the other party is unfit to rule - and both commonly succeed, and are right.
It is only possible to live happily ever after on a day-to-day basis.
I must create a system, or be enslaved by another man's.
I am not sincere, even when I say I am not.
Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn whatever state I am in, therin to be content
Never read a book through merely because you have begun it.
The best thing to give to your enemy is forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to your child, a good example; to a father, deference; to your mother, conduct that will make her proud of you; to yourself, respect; to all men, charity.
Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.
I'd learned my lesson.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
When the gods wish to punish us, they answer our prayers.
When we ask for advice, we are usually looking for an accomplice.
The best way out is always through.
The more things a man is ashamed of, the more respectable he is.
I phoned my dad to tell him I had stopped smoking. He called me a quitter.
The dead might as well try to speak to the living as the old to the young.
How we treasure (and admire) the people who acknowledge us!
The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.
Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn whatever state I am in, therin to be content
A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.
A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money.
It is common sense to take a method and try it. If it fails, admit it frankly and try another. But above all, try something.
You freeze where you are, time stops, and your heart thunders in your ears.
Lack of money is no obstacle. Lack of an idea is an obstacle.
Worries go down better with soup than without.
I like weights. You know where you stand with them. Well, sometimes you're lying under them, trying not to let them crush you, but you see, you KNOW they'd crush you if they could. There's honesty.
In the right light, at the right time, everything is extraordinary.
Early morning cheerfulness can be extremely obnoxious.
I said to myself, I have things in my head that are not like what anyone has taught me - shapes and ideas so near to me - so natural to my way of being and thinking that it hasn't occurred to me to put them down. I decided to start anew, to strip away what I had been taught.
It was enough to make a body ashamed of the human race.
The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it.
Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose.
If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches.
No great improvements in the lot of mankind are possible until a great change takes place in the fundamental constitution of their modes of thought.
Life is a great big canvas; throw all the paint on it you can.
It's wonderful what we can do if we're always doing.
When someone does something good, applaud! You will make two people happy.
Here's to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes... the ones who see things differently -- they're not fond of rules... You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can't do is ignore them because they change things... they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do.
Paradise is exactly like where you are right now... only much, much better.
I have often wished I had time to cultivate modesty... But I am too busy thinking about myself.
Arguments are to be avoided; they are always vulgar and often convincing.
I've grown to realize the joy that comes from little victories is preferable to the fun that comes from ease and the pursuit of pleasure.
Writing gives you the illusion of control, and then you realize it's just an illusion, that people are going to bring their own stuff into it.
Ordinarily he was insane, but he had lucid moments when he was merely stupid.
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let's start with typewriters.
Don't ever take a fence down until you know the reason it was put up.
Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it - what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellowmen. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.
I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business.
Peace is when time doesn't matter as it passes by.
You can only cure retail but you can prevent .
The supreme irony of life is that hardly anyone gets out of it alive.
The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.
What is the use of a house if you haven't got a tolerable planet to put it on?
There is an evil tendency underlying all our technology - the tendency to do what is reasonable even when it isn't any good.
I've gone into hundreds of fortune-teller's parlors, and have been told thousands of things, but nobody ever told me I was a policewoman getting ready to arrest her.
Funny business, a woman's career: the things you drop on the way up the ladder so you can move faster. You forget you'll need them again when you get back to being a woman. It's one career all females have in common, whether we like it or not: being a woman.
Mediocrity knows nothing higher than itself, but talent instantly recognizes genius.
Refuse to be ill. Never tell people you are ill; never own it to yourself. Illness is one of those things which a man should resist on principle.
You need only reflect that one of the best ways to get yourself a reputation as a dangerous citizen these days is to go about repeating the very phrases which our founding fathers used in the struggle for independence.
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
The scornful nostril and the high head gather not the odors that lie on the track of truth.
Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady.
We rocked to a stop still on a downslope.
Part of being creative is learning how to protect your freedom. That includes freedom from avarice.
It is impossible to walk rapidly and be unhappy.
Have patience awhile; slanders are not long-lived. Truth is the child of time; erelong she shall appear to vindicate thee.
There are no wise few. Every aristocracy that has ever existed has behaved, in all essential points, exactly like a small mob.
There is a tragic flaw in our precious Constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.
Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.
Go often to the house of thy friend; for weeds soon choke up the unused path.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes.
You create your opportunities by asking for them.
Do not weep; do not wax indignant. Understand.
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