Bottom seeking Top

By Joey Garcia

Očekivanje Nove Godine bez partnera može nam izgledati zastrašujuće. Evo nekoliko savjeta za samce.

Host: Holidays can be a difficult time, especially if you're single. It can be depressing, and it can be lonely.

Joey: That’s absolutely true, and, with the darkness outside, the depression can feel even heavier. The good news is that this season is a time to birth light. That means it’s also a time to birth enlightenment. So, it’s a good time to get to know yourself better.

There are concrete things that singles can do during the holidays, and they have nothing to do with finding someone. Singles can use this time to work on themselves. For example, I think it’s important that singles find places where they feel they belong--whether it’s an organization, a group of friends or family members. They need to be where they feel accepted, acknowledged and appreciated.

Maybe church or civic organizations?

Absolutely.

Are holiday parties a good place to find that special person?

They can be. But it is important to go to parties by yourself, to feel the independence and strength that can develop within yourself when you are willing to do something alone and without expecting to meet a mate. If you’re going to be successful as a member of a couple, you have to be independent. We have the idea that a soul mate is a person who loves everything we love and wants to do everything we do. The reality is that your soul mate is going to have some of his or her own passions that are going to be different from yours. The sooner you learn to do things on your own, the better prepared you are to become a partner for someone else.

So, work on yourself.

Absolutely. It’s a good time to share your gifts, talents and abilities. You mentioned churches and civic organizations. This is a good time of year to give of yourself by saying, “Here’s something that I’m really good at; let me give this to my community.” Let the world be your soul mate instead of fixating on the narrow idea that a soul mate means just one person.

People always say love happens when you're not looking. What do you think of that?

It’s really good advice! I think that people look a little too hard, and I know that I have done that myself. You know, “Where is he? Where is he?” But my best relationships have happened by accident, so that is good advice.