A little bit about everything
nedjelja, 24.02.2008.
Ovo će biti malo duži post...
Ah, eto, stoga, nego, zbog čega ti, to, tako, upravo na taj način?
Ah, pa, eto, stoga, jer smatrah da, ono, razumiješ ne?
Ah istina shvaćam, naravno, da, ima smisla, slažem se, daljnja rasprava je nepotrebna.
Hmm.. zamislite da sve rasprave ovako izgledaju...
Nego, da ja počnem s onim što sam želio..
A što sam želio početi... neznam... zašto pišem onda... jer mi je dosadno.. a zašto mi je dosadno.. jer trošim vrijeme bespotrebno... a zašto.. a nemam pametnijeg posla... to nije istina, ima mnogo pametnijih stvari za raditi... ali nekada treba i ljenčariti... istina nekad treba i lijenčariti... ali kada to postane jedina preokupacija u životu.. onda imamo problema... nije li tako?... pa je.. ali ne raditi ništa je zabavno.. ma jeli?.. zbilja ti je zabavno ne raditi ništa u životu cijelo vrijeme... jadan ti... a dobro nije zabavno ne raditi ništa stalno, ali nekada je odlično ne raditi ništa... slažem se nekada je, samo da ne lijenčariš više nego što radiš... ali tako je teško početi, put je tako velik... ali svako putovanje počinje prvim korakom, ako posustaneš zbog same veličine puta nigdje nećeš stići... ali stvarno je daleko, nikada neću stići... kako mala beba stigne, padne stotinu puta ali se svaki put digne i hrabro nastavi dalje, zar to nije hrabrost?.... zašto bi to bila hrabrost, pa beba nezna što radi?.... kako nezna, zna da mora prohodati, svjesna je otprilike što mora raditi i iako padne tisuću puta svaki put se digne i nastavi, nema veće hrabrosti....
Ah eto nakon ove bizarne rasprave koju sam napisao mogao bih i nešto smisleno dodati.
a što reći, kupio sam knjigu o Zenu koja sadrži Zazen, što me jako obradovalo da sam našao, zadnja kopija na nekoj polici bogu iza nogu. Nisam još stigao početi čitati, ali imam namjeru što prije.
Kao što obećah jedan meni drag citat. Makar ovo je pjesma, a ne citat.
Ova pjesma je počela kružiti internetom prije koju godinu, mislim da joj se nezna autor.
U svakom slučaju evo samo da kopiram.
What do you see, nurse, what do you see?
What are you thinking when you're looking at me?
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit, with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles her food and makes no reply
When you say in a loud voice, "I do wish you'd try!"
Who seems not to notice the things that you do,
And forever is losing a stocking or shoe....
Who, resisting or not, lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding, the long day to fill....
Is that what you're thinking? Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse; you're not looking at me.
I'll tell you who I am as I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, as I eat at your will.
I'm a small child of ten...with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters, who love one another.
A young girl of sixteen, with wings on her feet,
Dreaming that soon now a lover she'll meet.
A bride soon at twenty--my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vows that I promised to keep.
At twenty-five now,
I have young of my own,
Who need me to guide and a secure happy home.
A woman of thirty, my young now grown fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last.
At forty, my young sons have grown and are gone,
But my man's beside me to see I don't mourn.
At fifty once more, babies play around my knee,
Again we know children, my loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me, my husband is dead;
I look at the future, I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing young of their own,
And I think of the years and the love that I've known.
I'm now an old woman...and nature is cruel;
'Tis jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles, grace and vigour depart,
There is now a stone where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells,
And now and again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I'm loving and living life over again.
I think of the years... all too few, gone too fast,
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, nurses, open and see...
Not a crabby old woman; look closer...see ME!
