smoo

utorak, 20.11.2007.

People are looking the wrong way. The next Buddha isn't going to be a bald boy wearing an orange robe in a secluded monastery in Tibet. He's going to be a 23-year old animal shelter volunteer from St. Petersburg who writes a blog via a 56k modem. The blog will be made of seven lines of html code and will consist only of text and a beige background. It is from there that enlightenment will stem. In cyrillic. He will be killed at the age of 33 on the street by an ultranationalist who will take offense at his "Communist Party" t-shirt. All 42 of his readers will mourn his passing. They will spread his teachings to the world, where they will evolve inevitably to the point where evolution will turn to corruption, and the whole cycle will begin again. It remains to be seen whether my head will end up on a platter.


silly quasifurry art!

legos!

myspace suicide!

Life has immense replay value.

Inzistiranje pojedinaca na poštivanju tajnosti glasovanja unutar kruga poznanika je retardirana relikvija doba kada je nepodobnost odluke vodila reperkusijama. Sama institucija tajnosti glasovanja potiče na toleranciju netrepeljivosti, a o netransparetnosti da ne govorimo.

Strgana mi je kvaka sobnih vrata. Ispala je iz samih vrata, naime. Zanimljivo je primjetiti kako je dio kvake koji je potreban da bi se vrata otvorila ostao na unutrašnoj strani. Pa u slučaju da su vrata zatvorena a kvaka strgana, nitko ne može ući, već moraju čekati da netko izađe. Ultimativno, iako bazirano u stvarnosti, ovo bi trebala biti loša analogija za ljude zatvorenog uma.

Božićne dekoracije su izvješene, što bi me užasno smetalo da izlazim iz sobe. Ali nedavno je izašao Call of Duty 4. Pa ono.

I am terminally uninspired.

ponedjeljak, 12.11.2007.

my heart is full of hate for hellgate london. i am a force to be reckoned with, with my giant rifle that fires countless legions of bullets in spaces of time too short to comprehend. i delight in running through the drearily monotonous levels, keeping the left mouse button depressed throughout. yet i cannot kill it. it is an abomination, a trivial being undeserving of the nomenclature challenge! and yet it keeps me from my goal. thank you flagship, for your utterly retarded mechanic of regeneration! as we all know, the regeneration mechanic in every video game since pong works as such: the life force of regenerating individual is restored at a certain rate superior to the rate of restoration of those individuals lacking restoration. but no! flagship studios thinks outside the mold! their regeneration is such: 1.)monster goes to 10% health. 2.)monster has 100% health. now i'm no expert, but it seems to me that what we have here, besides a failiure to communicate with common sense, is what is known in the community as an "endless loop". the problem with endless loops is that, well...they're endless. they have no end. they go no forever. like the rolling stones. except most endless loops aren't quite as sexy. so now i have this perfectly mediocre game that i want to play, but cannot. because i cannot kill something i have to kill. such a thing angers me greatly.

i've been seriously underdoing the homoeroticism lately. don't get me wrong, i fucking love the haka. it just feels really wrong when it's not being done by burly 250-pound men with brain damage who are minutes away from hurting people.

speaking of how much i hate hellgate london, i hate it marginally less now. acting on a hunch, i abandoned my misguided path as a person who shoots things, and changed my ways. i am now a large person with big glowy swords of death. which is to say, the game still sucks, but i now have pretty colors to keep me amused while i click tirelessly.

the first chapter of the witcher is immeasurably better than the prologue. to clarifiy, the first 20 lines of dialogue in the first chapter are immeasurably better than the prologue. the game is not unlike ice cream, with the prologue being the plastic wrapper on the outside. were someone to lick the wrapper and then give up, they would be convinced that ice cream is atrociously bad, and they would in all likelyhood never eat ice cream again. which would be a shame, since ice cream is great. albeit not as great as cake.

i really feel that the song "all tomorrows parties" speaks to me on a primal level. since i haven't been endowed with a decent halloween costume since i was five. although, in all fairness, the amount of kickassery i posessed as a musketeer does offset the lack of suitable costumes in the following years. take that guy who made a big daddy costume, for example. obviously titanic effort aside, the man does not deserve to have a big daddy costume. actually, since he made this video, he doesn't really deserve to live either. had he actually set fire to his hand, and then lit the candle with his charred stump, he might have made something of himself.

oh yeah. this is a really good idea. all of you indigo child elf larpers should get these. that way i can recognise you more easily, streamlining the "hurting you" process.

navodno će uskoro past snijeg. ovo je odlična stvar jer mi daje priliku da, kada netko odluči da je pametna stvar pozvati me van, uzvratim sa ponudom da se idemo sanjkati. na ovo će više-manje svatko odgovoriti negativno, bivajući sasvim zbunjen samom idejom da bi se netko moje muževnosti želio ići sanjkati. što mi dakako daje priliku da se ili odem sam sanjkati (pritom skroz ownajući njubovsku malo djecu koja se tamo također sanjkaju) ili da nastavim igrati witchera.

na temu muževnosti, kontemplirao sam načine na koje bih mogao svoju bradu učiniti muževnijom. do sad sam došao do nekoliko ideja: zapaliti ju, zaliti vodom i zatim zamrznuti tako da vise sige sa nje, obliti krvlju tako da povremeno krv kapa s nje, pofarbati u rozo. dakako otvoren sam prema novim sugestijama i komentarima na postojeće ideje.

prošli put nisam zapravo shvatio koliko je odlična osoba asistent koji drži vježbe iz elektrotehnike. isprva sam mislio da je manijak koji se bezveze dere na ljude i priča na talijanskom sa ljudima preko mobitela jer šverca ilegalne imigrante i drogu. ali se pokazalo da je zapravo sasvim savršen pedagog i omogućuje mi da shvatim gradivo iako nisam ništa pratio kroz mjesec dana predavanja. štoviše, ima bradu i sasvim spontano dijeli informacije koje, iako nemaju neke veze sa elektrotehnikom, su zapravo naskroz korisne i od paraživotne važnosti. ali svejedno mislim je dio nekakvog narkokartela. također, ovo. i ovo.

ponedjeljak, 05.11.2007.

being the spoiled brat that i am, having nothing to play is slowly driving me insane. maybe if i killed myself, with the explanation that it was the low replayability and overall low quality of today's games that made me do it, it would drive the industry to review its standards, giving gamers everywhere the chance to partake in vastly superiror fare. unfortunately for you, i'm not going to kill myself, because at best it would lead to fifa summer 2009/fifa winter 2009, etc. well. there's this, i guess.

essekon je bio kao dvodnevni house party. ali sa predavanjima umjesto kegova. naravno, sve poteškoće su se sasvim isplatile samo zbog prilike da se u 5 ujutro u nedjelju na kolodvoru može slušati velvet underground-sunday morning.

to je važno, zato što sada provodim dane browsanjem youtubea. ha! hoo!. No penises. I promise.

Odbijam pihvatiti google kao božanstvo. dobro čuvana tajna je ta da google zapravo ne koristi nikakve algoritme za pretraživanje, već je od lucifera kupio nebrojene pale duše koje sada sjede u podrumu googleovog kampusa i pri svakom unosu u google traže stranice koje najviše odgovaraju unesenom pojmu. širenje guglovih područja djelovanja je samo rezultat sve većeg broja zaposlenih duša. duše sljedbenika gugla su osuđene na vječnost u tim uvjetima.

Vrijeme je za novi ciklus internetskih prijatelja. Vi ste postali prezahtjevni. Ne slinite nad svakom mojom rečenicom i ne refreshate kompulzivno moj blog danima bez prestanka u isčekivanju novog posta. Ne mogu pisati uz tako malo entuzijazma čitateljstva. I novu višku pitu. Novi tjedni zadatak! Nađite mi višku pitu u Zagrebu!

Ali svakako je lagano deprimirajuće kada ideš brisat sms-ove jer ti je inbox pun, i shvatiš da je 24/29 njih od vlastite majke.