Sve oko nje bilo je vise-manje sivo. Sivocu je razbijala bjelina posteljine i nekoliko crvenih ruza koje su mamile u sredistu sobe. Prisla im je i ostala omamljena njihovim slatkim mirisom. Bile su sjajne i boja im se jos vise isticala u sivilu u kojem se zatekla.
Pazljivo je iz kristalne vaze izvukla jednu i prinijela licu. Barsunastu mekocu njezinih latica natopila je suza. Pogled je skrenula na svoju ruku kojom je drzala ruzu i vidjela nekoliko kapi krvi koje su blistale na njezinom prstu. Vratila je ruzu u vazu, a prst stavila u usta kako krv ne bi zaprljala sobu u kojoj se nasla.
Krenula je prema masivnim vratima, a jedini zvuk koji ju je pratio bilo je suskanje njezine spavacice. Objema rukama obuhvatila je kvake i nasla se u plesnoj dvorani. Usla je u sobu i zagledala se u oslikani strop. Promatrala je sklad boja koje su tvorile sliku tako zivu da je imala osjecaj kao da ce svaki cas ti ljudi zaplesati. Krenula je natraske i zabila se u zid. Tu su maloprije bila vrata.
Obisla je cijelu sobu, ali nije bilo vrata. Zidovi su bili oblozeni bijelim drvenim oblogama, a pod je krasio crveni mahagonij. Dosla je do sredine dvorane i sjela na pod. Zbunjenost u njoj je rasla. Legla je na ledja i usmjerila pogled prema slici. Gledala je mlada lica koja s osmijehom prate zvuk glazbe, starije gospodje koje sjedeci izazivaju postovanje.
Gledajuci sliku izgubila se u mislima. Zacula je prekrasnu glazbu, smijuljenje, suskanje haljina. Otvorila je oci i ustuknula. Cijela dvorana je bila prepuna ljudi koji plesu, sjede, razgovaraju, a ona je stajala sa strane u haljini koja joj je izmamila uzdah. Prisao joj je mladic kojega je bila zapazila na slici i laganim naklonom zamolio za ples. Ne shvacajuci svoje postupke, uzvratila je naklonom i pruzila mu ruku. Njezina rukavica spojila se s njegovom i uskoro su se stopili u masi ucenih koraka. U njegovim rukama je lebdjela i osjećala se zasticeno.
Nakon nekog vremena plesuci ju je odveo do balkona. Svjez zrak joj je godio, iako nije znala odakle se stvorio balkon. On cijelu vecer nije progovorio ni rijeci nego je gledao u njezine oci. Pažnju joj je odvratio cvrkut ptica i pogled je usmjerila na auto koji je dolazio putem. Bio je vedar dan pa se obradovala i potrcala van. Zagrlila je gospodju koja je upravo izlazila iz automobila. Bila je u haljini s crnim sesirom i prekorila ju je pogledom. Ona se samo odmaknula i pomogla vozacu da uzme kovcege.
Nebo se odjednom naoblacilo i započela je kisa. Pogledala se. Stajala je u trapericama i svojoj najdražoj majci na asfaltiranom puteljku. Znala je gdje je. Nekoliko metara odavde nalazilo se groblje. Skrenula je za zavoj i ugledala povorku. U njoj su, svi odjeveni u crno, hodali ljudi koje je voljela, s kojima je plakala, za kojima je ceznula. Pratila ih je do jednog groba. Na krizu koji je bio utaknut u zemlju nalazila se njezina fotografija. Pala je na koljena i zaplakala. Slusala je iskrene rijeci koje su dolazile iz srca, pracene suzama, a trebale su opisati zalost za njom. Vrijeme se stopilo i ni sama nije znala koliko dugo je sjedila tamo, na praznom grobu, kada je pokraj sebe zapazila dnevnik. Dnevnik na cijim je koznim koricama bilo otisnuto njezino ime.
Moje ime. Tada sam shvatila sve. Uvidjela sam igru sudbine. Trcala sam kroz svoje zivote, kroz one koje sam sama vec jednom ispisala. I sada sam gledala kraj jos jednog. Kraj poglavlja jos jedne price. Otvorila sam stranice koje su bile ispisane krvlju i pocela pisati novu pricu. Onu koju sam prozivjela i koja jos uvijek nema smisla. Pitanje je hoce li ga dobiti kada je zavrsim…
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.faded prima donna...
Morbidne, groteskne svima odvratne, besmislene u jednom u drugom trenutku savrsene misli, predpostavke i ideje.
MSN: adornaa@hotmail.com
Mail: adornaa@hotmail.com
Moj Daemon.
Snow Leopard Daemon, named Pelloneus.
Spontaneuos, modest, fickle, assertive, and humble.
Pelloneus is a male Daemon, as human and daemon pairs are typically the opposite sex.
DEAD BEAT.
Šime.
Bloody Mary.
Mrle.
MINE.
MySpace.
Facebook.
Slusam:
1.Annihilator.
2.Aborym.
3.Iced Earth.
4.Dark Funeral.
5.Burzum.
6.Gorgoroth.
7.Borknagar.
8.Immortal.
9.Skid Row.
10.Cult.
11.Slayer.
12.Evanescence.
13.Behemoth.
14.Guns 'n' Roses.
15.Hammerfall.
16.HIM.
17.Hypocrisy.
18.Iced Earth.
19.Iron Maiden.
20.Korn.
21.Lordi.
22.Linkin Park.
23.Limp Bizkit.
24.Lamb Of God.
25.Machine Head.
26.Marilyn Manson.
27.Metallica.
28.Nightwish.
29.Psyclon Nine.
30.Pantera.
31.Bal-Sagoth.
32.Rage Against The Machine.
33.Veyš my šina.
34.Rasmus.
35.Sepultura.
36.Slipknot.
37.Static-X.
38.System.
39.Coal Chamber.
Words that mean everything.
Dark Funeral - Goddess of Sodomy
Come forth, the goddess of sodomy.
My body is the source of pain, bow.
Worship me.And suck my soul.
Every single hole in you is mine, so now.
Obey.
Deep inside, you feel me pulsate.
More and more and more.
I hear you groan, you want me inside.
Again, again, again, again.
You give me pleasure, I offer you pain.
The highest level of ecstasy, sexually insane.
Behind my mask of pretending, I hide.
In my dominion of pain.
I am your god, I am your believes.
I control your desire, with my godlike white salted wine.
Behind my mask of pretending, I hide.
In my dominion of pain.
I am the way to the land of your pleasure.
I am the way to your eternal lust.
Metallica - Master of Pupptes.
End of passion play, crumbling away
I'm your source of self-destruction
Veins that pump with fear, sucking darkest clear
Leading on your deaths construction
Taste me you will see
More is all you need
Dedicated to
How I'm killing you
Come crawling faster
Obey your Master
Your life burns faster
Obey your Master
Master
Master of Puppets I'm pulling your strings
Twisting your mind, smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master
Needlework the way, never you betray
Line of death becoming clearer
Pain monopoly, ritual misery
Chop your breakfast on a mirror
Taste me you will see
More is all you need
Dedicated to
How I'm killing you
Come crawling faster
Obey your Master
Your life burns faster
Obey your Master
Master
Master of Puppets I'm pulling your strings
Twisting your mind, smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master
Master, Master, where's the dreams that I've been after?
Master, Master, you promised only lies
Laughter, laughter, all I hear or see is laughter
Laughter, laughter, laughing at my cries
Speak to me!
Hell is worth all that, natural habitat
Just a rhyme without a reason
Neverending phase, Drift on numbered days
Now your life is out of season
I will occupy
I will help you die
I will run through you
Now I rule you too
Come crawling faster
Obey your Master
Your life burns faster
Obey your Master
Master
Master of Puppets I'm pulling your strings
Twisting your mind, smashing your dreams
Blinded by me, you can't see a thing
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master
Just call my name, 'cause I'll hear you scream
Master
Master.
Aborym - Suffer Catalyst.
Betrayal - a lone soldier
Prepared for the last call
Solitude - the highest fate
Conclude everything and all
Death in the wastelands
Herald the last standing
Obey the first born
Our world will be torn
Conflict - a movement of free
Signal the coming
Gratification - a battered fight
I think you better sharpen the knife
Master and Slave
Increase, full on
Stupid or brave
Shrieking
Hardcore - for legends
Rise from ashes
Semigod - end of days
No more praise
Suffer no more
Catalyst for once and for all
Stop dreaming
A will to be free
[Fabban latin chorus:]
Omnia munda mundis
Death in the wastelands
Herald the last standing
Obey the first born
Our world will be torn
Conflict - a movement of free
Signal the coming.
Hypocrisy - All turns black.
[Verse 1]
I've been searching for the peace in my mind
It's nowhere to be found.
Your soul with me
Resting under my skin.
I see no point of living the life I lead
It hurts me too much.
Can you feel what I feel?
It must go deep.
My own soul is my enemy.
[Chorus]
It seems like everything I do just crashes down
It leaves an open scar that I know will never heal.
Broken promises now run through my head
I can't see the future and it all turns black.
[Verse 2]
What's the point of being here
When this whole life is dragging me down?
Is this how we'll be?
I don't want to be part of it.
It must go deep.
My own soul is my enemy.
[Chorus]
It seems like everything I do just crashes down
It leaves an open scar that I know will never heal.
Broken promises now run through my head
I can't see the future. It all turns black.
[Verse 3]
If there's another way
You can live another day
Then you'll know just when pressure's getting stronger.
I can hear voices calling my name
I guess they are over my head.
[Chorus x2]
It seems like everything I do just crashes down
It leaves an open scar that I know will never heal.
Broken promises now run through my head
Skid Row - Wasted time.
You and I together in our lives
Sacred ties would never fray
Then why cant I let myself tell lies
And watch you die every day
I think back to the times
When dreams were what mattered
Tough talking youth naivete
You said you never let me down
But the horse stampedes and rages
In the name of desperation
Is it all just wasted time
Can you look at yourself
When you think of what
You left behind
Is it all just wasted time
Can you live with yourself
When you think of what
You left behind
Paranoid delusions they haunt you
Wheres my friend I used to know
Hes all alone
Hes buried deep within a carcass
Searching for a soul
Can you feel me inside your heart
As its bleeding
Why cant you belive you
Cant be loved
I hear you scream in agony
And the horse stampedes and rages
In the name of desperation
Is it all just wasted time
Can you look at yourself
When you think of what
You left behind
Is it all just wasted time
Can you live with yourself
When you think of what
You left behind
You said you never let me down
But the horse stampedes and rages
In the name of desperation
Is it all just wasted time
Can you look at yourself
When you think of what
You left behind
Is it all just wasted time
Can you live with yourself
When you think of what
You left behind
The sun will rise again
The earth will turn to sand
Creations colors seem to fade to grey
And youll see the sickly hands of time
Will write your final rhyme
And end a memory
I never thought youd let it get
This far, boy