12000 CALORIES A DAY

And the Hippos Were Boiled in Their Tanks

In the summer of 1944, a shocking murder rocked the fledgling Beats. William S. Burroughs and Jack Kerouac, both still unknown, we inspired by the crime to collaborate on a novel, a hard-boiled tale of bohemian New York during World War II, full of drugs and art, obsession and brutality, with scenes and characters drawn from their own lives. Finally published after more than sixty years, this is a captivating read, and incomparable literary artifact, and a window into the lives and art of two of the twentieth century’s most influential writers.

So, I made a weekend breakfast for my wife and my mother-in-law. My wife is delighted that I’m cooking; my mother-in-law has been caught in her dementia loop and is rereading the same page of the paper for the umpteenth time. It’s O.K., it’s just short term issues that are indeed issues; she can recall other events with great accuracy and speed. And, she appreciates my cooking, at least in the here and now.

I chose waffles. Weekends are different from our normal, be sensible, “but-yogurt-is-so good-for- you-eat-light-run-out-the-door-workday-breakfasts.” “Save the calories for the weekend”, we say, doing the unofficial weight watchers thing, counting points, saving them for a weekend splurge, saving them for now.

I use a 1940’s era waffle iron, handed down through the family, at one time belonging to my mother-in-laws sister. It’s heavy and makes perfect waffles, and not just ordinary waffles; I am, after all, an artist. Using the old iron for me was a touch of poetic synchronicity for my mother-in-law, combining the indelible memories of her past with the cloudy present. She glanced over as I plugged it in and said with a grin, “Isn’t that Bessie’s old waffle iron?” I nodded and she said “That’s great! Do you like to cook?”

I made them from scratch, with organic rolled oats, a healthy dose of molasses, and a couple of handfuls of pecans. Pretty, different textures, tasty and lots of fiber for our baby boom generation dietary sensibilities.

“Something to cut the sweet”, I thought to myself, something to go along with waffles that my mother-in-law would remember and appreciate. I take inventory in the fridge seeking the perfect accompaniment. The answer of course was right in front of me, that hiding in plain sight thing. As I moved the eggs to check out what was hidden in back, I automatically set the eggs on the counter and smiled at the obvious… 3-minute eggs, a throw back to earlier times, a glimpse of familiarity, and a novelty to cap off the celebration of the weekend.

I had no egg cups, we used to serve our soft-boiled eggs in a small bowl with butter and salt and pepper. But I wanted it done like it was when my mother-in-law was cooking. Improvisation seemed to be the order of the day, and shot glasses were just the right size. No egg cups, but I have lots of shot glasses. A man needs priorities.

Breakfast is served. My mother-in-law smiled and asked if I like to cook. My wife smiles, cracks the top off her egg with a single tap of her knife, appreciating the message of the simpler time when things were different. “After we eat, I’m going to go downstairs and see if Sky King or Fury is on the T.V.” she says. I smiled and reached for the syrup, as my mother-in-law worked on her egg with the dexterity of a surgeon. “How’s your breakfast, Nonnie?” I asked. “This is good!” she said. I smiled and dug in. “Do you like to cook? “she said. “I do” I said holding her gaze, “I really do.”

Eggs are beaten and ready

RECIPE

10 eggs
1 pound ricotta cheese
1 pound mozerella
1/2 pound mild provolone
1/2 pound swiss cheese
1/2 pound boiled ham
1/2 pound Genoa salami
1/2 pound pepperoni

Heat the oven to 390 degrees.

Get a HUGE bowl. Chop up the cheese & meat.

mix eggs and ricotta in a separate bowl.

Add egg/ricotta mixture to the chopped ingrediants in the HUGE bowl.

Mix well.

Pour into 4 8 inch pie plates.

Bake until done. Could be anywhere form 1 hour to 90 minutes.

Tatses best cold!

You may substitute Egg Beaters for real eggs. Feel free to use low fat or fat free cheese and low salt stuff. It always tatses good, no matter what. Hard to screw this one up. It isn't low calorie, so we only make it once a year on Easter.

Follow under-sexed, over-analytical university professor Dr. Benjamin Wise, fresh off a horrific break-up, on a journey to reawaken his libido. Set against the backdrop of Asian massage parlors, University hallways and West Village anarchy, Hard-Boiled Men provides an honest and hilarious account of single life in New York City. The book exposes men's secret thoughts on the nature of love, marriage, and sexuality.

Although Hard-Boiled Men is as likely to infuriate as entertain, Guy Jacobs' account of promiscuity and debauchery on the road to love speaks to our eternal quest for intimacy, home and finding out just who we are.

"Powerful, inspiring and heartfelt. Hard-Boiled Men is The Catcher in the Rye all grown up; there's a little bit of Ben Wise in every one of us." -Dr. Paul S. Lieber, Emerson College

Follow under-sexed, over-analytical university professor Dr. Benjamin Wise, fresh off a horrific break-up, on a journey to reawaken his libido. Set against the backdrop of Asian massage parlors, University hallways and West Village anarchy, Hard-Boiled Men provides an honest and hilarious account of single life in New York City. The book exposes men's secret thoughts on the nature of love, marriage, and sexuality.

Although Hard-Boiled Men is as likely to infuriate as entertain, Guy Jacobs' account of promiscuity and debauchery on the road to love speaks to our eternal quest for intimacy, home and finding out just who we are.

"Powerful, inspiring and heartfelt. Hard-Boiled Men is The Catcher in the Rye all grown up; there's a little bit of Ben Wise in every one of us." -Dr. Paul S. Lieber, Emerson College