smoo

srijeda, 27.02.2008.

RFID tags in penises. the only way to go. rape attempt? deploy the 10000 volt vagina taser! this will, however, make potential rapists start using EMP grenades instead of rufies. I'm not gonna lie, I'd kill for RFID tags in penises to become the norm. locked door? *pelvic thrust* *door opens*. random traffic stop! "sir, please insert your penis into this tube for identification." exchanging contact info? "let's rub our penises together so I can get your fax number." that last one actually has nothing to do with RFID tags, I just wanted to write about people rubbing their penises together.

i dunno. being a monk would be pretty cool. a lifetime of ascetism and drudgery balanced with contemplation and self-improvement. as opposed to a lifetime od drudgery balanced with...lesbian porn, i guess. freaks wit da butts, and all that. and orange robes. orange robes are pretty badass. shaved heads go without saying. on that note, must inquire into the status of remaining body hair as a monk.

i tako sinoć odem rano spavati, kao što mi je postao običaj pošto mi je život postao šuplja ljuska onog što je bio, i nekih x sati kasnije me probudi pjevanje. ono što je bilo čudno u tome jest to da me obično probudi vikanje pijanih likova na klupicama ispod prozora. ono što me pogodilo u tom trenutku je bilo to koliko su likovi jebeno dobro pjevali.

so right now i'm all like 'it's all chill. maxin' and relaxin'.' and it's really awsome because frank miller is writing this sorta-spinoff batman, and batman is this really insane guy who keeps saying:"i'm the goddamn batman!" and similarly goofy things. also, i'm very chill about the whole birthday thing. people are all like:"ohmyfawkinggawd! i'm one year closer to dying! lol omg help! :((((". but it's really not like that. you're actually just one day older, just like on any other day. really it's mostly like:"hm. birthday. the-day-of-guilt-tripping-people-into-being-nice-to-me. cool." and then go listen to some lou reed.

but creationism. everyone's like:"haha, look at those silly bible thumpers, thinking some omnipotent being created everyone! how ridiculous! ho-ho-ho!" but then i look at people and it's like:"man. god's androids. crazy-ass algorithms." and i see cancer and i think to myself:"god either has a terrible debugger or he's a really lazy coder." what it comes down to is "some guy thought it would be neat to make us so he did." isn't all that different from "a bunch of molecules assembled themselves into a self-replicating organism which then also magically developed all sorts of neat abilities, just for the heck of it."

nja.