smoo

ponedjeljak, 12.11.2007.

my heart is full of hate for hellgate london. i am a force to be reckoned with, with my giant rifle that fires countless legions of bullets in spaces of time too short to comprehend. i delight in running through the drearily monotonous levels, keeping the left mouse button depressed throughout. yet i cannot kill it. it is an abomination, a trivial being undeserving of the nomenclature challenge! and yet it keeps me from my goal. thank you flagship, for your utterly retarded mechanic of regeneration! as we all know, the regeneration mechanic in every video game since pong works as such: the life force of regenerating individual is restored at a certain rate superior to the rate of restoration of those individuals lacking restoration. but no! flagship studios thinks outside the mold! their regeneration is such: 1.)monster goes to 10% health. 2.)monster has 100% health. now i'm no expert, but it seems to me that what we have here, besides a failiure to communicate with common sense, is what is known in the community as an "endless loop". the problem with endless loops is that, well...they're endless. they have no end. they go no forever. like the rolling stones. except most endless loops aren't quite as sexy. so now i have this perfectly mediocre game that i want to play, but cannot. because i cannot kill something i have to kill. such a thing angers me greatly.

i've been seriously underdoing the homoeroticism lately. don't get me wrong, i fucking love the haka. it just feels really wrong when it's not being done by burly 250-pound men with brain damage who are minutes away from hurting people.

speaking of how much i hate hellgate london, i hate it marginally less now. acting on a hunch, i abandoned my misguided path as a person who shoots things, and changed my ways. i am now a large person with big glowy swords of death. which is to say, the game still sucks, but i now have pretty colors to keep me amused while i click tirelessly.

the first chapter of the witcher is immeasurably better than the prologue. to clarifiy, the first 20 lines of dialogue in the first chapter are immeasurably better than the prologue. the game is not unlike ice cream, with the prologue being the plastic wrapper on the outside. were someone to lick the wrapper and then give up, they would be convinced that ice cream is atrociously bad, and they would in all likelyhood never eat ice cream again. which would be a shame, since ice cream is great. albeit not as great as cake.

i really feel that the song "all tomorrows parties" speaks to me on a primal level. since i haven't been endowed with a decent halloween costume since i was five. although, in all fairness, the amount of kickassery i posessed as a musketeer does offset the lack of suitable costumes in the following years. take that guy who made a big daddy costume, for example. obviously titanic effort aside, the man does not deserve to have a big daddy costume. actually, since he made this video, he doesn't really deserve to live either. had he actually set fire to his hand, and then lit the candle with his charred stump, he might have made something of himself.

oh yeah. this is a really good idea. all of you indigo child elf larpers should get these. that way i can recognise you more easily, streamlining the "hurting you" process.

navodno će uskoro past snijeg. ovo je odlična stvar jer mi daje priliku da, kada netko odluči da je pametna stvar pozvati me van, uzvratim sa ponudom da se idemo sanjkati. na ovo će više-manje svatko odgovoriti negativno, bivajući sasvim zbunjen samom idejom da bi se netko moje muževnosti želio ići sanjkati. što mi dakako daje priliku da se ili odem sam sanjkati (pritom skroz ownajući njubovsku malo djecu koja se tamo također sanjkaju) ili da nastavim igrati witchera.

na temu muževnosti, kontemplirao sam načine na koje bih mogao svoju bradu učiniti muževnijom. do sad sam došao do nekoliko ideja: zapaliti ju, zaliti vodom i zatim zamrznuti tako da vise sige sa nje, obliti krvlju tako da povremeno krv kapa s nje, pofarbati u rozo. dakako otvoren sam prema novim sugestijama i komentarima na postojeće ideje.

prošli put nisam zapravo shvatio koliko je odlična osoba asistent koji drži vježbe iz elektrotehnike. isprva sam mislio da je manijak koji se bezveze dere na ljude i priča na talijanskom sa ljudima preko mobitela jer šverca ilegalne imigrante i drogu. ali se pokazalo da je zapravo sasvim savršen pedagog i omogućuje mi da shvatim gradivo iako nisam ništa pratio kroz mjesec dana predavanja. štoviše, ima bradu i sasvim spontano dijeli informacije koje, iako nemaju neke veze sa elektrotehnikom, su zapravo naskroz korisne i od paraživotne važnosti. ali svejedno mislim je dio nekakvog narkokartela. također, ovo. i ovo.