subota, 23.01.2010.

Europe vs. USA

Na reddit-u je neki malac postavio pitanje: “European redditors! If you could, would you move to US?” na što mu je dan odličan odgovor:

Why would we? we have a stronger currency, universal health care, better social protection, better living standards, better prevention, faster and cheaper access to Internet/cellphones, a flurry of different culture and languages to discover, a richer historic background, the European Parliament is much less corrupt compared to the US Senate, also our porn is waaaaay freakier.

A onda stiže touche (i osnovni razlog ovog posta):

Nobody cares about that shit.

Here's what we got: money and options.

Money pours out of every fucking orifice and there are even more things to spend all of that money on and the tolerance for any kind of lifestyle, normal and bizarre that you want to indulge. You don't have to be smart, just be willing to work hard and you can rake cash in. Don't have cash now? Fear not, there's plenty of cheap credit available for you to hang yourself with.

Immigrants come from the world over to bust their asses, with no written English skills and set up small businesses that cater our every whim and perversion and they make fortunes.

Or you can be smart and work a little and still earn a fortune too. Whatever.

Our cars are fast and dangerous and spacious and we give licenses to anyone. Or maybe you don't want to drive ever. There are farmers that drive everywhere and city-slickers that walk everywhere. And everything in between.

Want to own a farm? Sure, have ten thousand acres and host your own demolition derbys with the rest of your redneck neighbors in Alabama. Want a shoebox apartment and a sex and the city, fashion and trendy restaurant obsessed heroin chic lifestyle? Oh man do we have a place for you.

Want to be a single mom? Nobody even notices. Want to start a family with two moms and two dads and have twisted four-somes? You don't get lynched, surprisingly.

Want to not spend your Sunday in church or at home with nothing to do because everything's closed? Welcome, sinner, the bars open at 8am. We only pretend to be religious.

Our pro-family values Republicans are all closet ass-pounding homosexuals and our moralist whining environmentalist crybaby Democrats have mansions with heated pools. TV coverage of all of this hypocrisy is endless and hilarious.

Want to name your children retarded names, yeah, we'll let you name your idiot kids Dweezil and Guthrie. Go nuts.

Want to be gay? Have we got the places for you. New York, San Francisco, Austin, TX (or San Antonio, or Dallas, etc.) will all let you get your freak on.

Want to sleep during the day and work nights? Sure, enjoy 24 hour dry-cleaning in Vegas.

Jewish? No sweat. Chinese restaurants are open on Christmas.

Concerned about the coming alien transmutation event foretold by the voices in your head? Start your doomsday cult today! Not only won't we interfere, we'll give you tax breaks.

Like Carribean warm? Live in Florida. Like the freezing cold for some reason? Live in Minneapolis.

Too lazy to get out of your air conditioned SUV? No sweat. Drive-throughs are everywhere.

Vegetarian? Yeah, not only won't we murder you for being a retard, we'll cater to your needs by selling you $15 mushroom burgers. And they'll be delicious.

America: FUCK YEAH

Riječ da bih dodao :-))))

- 18:00 - Komentari (32) - Isprintaj - #

<< Arhiva >>