whiskas

I am so afraid of getting old. Just the other day, while I was waiting at the bus stop, there was this elderly man who was standing too close to the road itself. It was a rainy day, snow was melting, and the streets were wet and muddy. There was a pond right in front of the old man.. He looked rather poor and was holding a cane in his hand. When the bus came, old man wasn’t quick enough to move away and he got all wet from his back all the way down to his ankles. He got in, looking very confused and lost. I can only imagine the way he must have felt. It’s raining again today. I don’t know whether this entry has anything to do with the feelings that rain evokes in myself. I was on a bus again, coming home, and there was another old man who was in the bus. He came in just one station ahead and didn’t have any place to sit. I got up and he sat on my seat. I observed him for just a while. The look on his face was confusing. It was as if he didn’t feel anything, as if he was empty from the inside. Or as he had some troubles torturing him and he’s not able to do a thing. I never want to end up like them. I never want to get old. I’d rather see myself dead then that old. I’m terrified. Terrified of death.