Trenutak TUGE
četvrtak , 27.07.2006.Prokleta. Ne mogu reći što mi je na umu. Svaka moja riječ može povrijediti nekoga. Svaka moja riječ uništava stvoreno povjerenje. Svaka moja riječ uništi sretni trenutak.
Stvorena sam da uništavam.
Osjećam se glavnim krivcem. Nezadovoljstvo je tu. Trebala bih promijeniti sebe cijelu.
Plačem jer uvijek griješim. Plačem, uvijek napravim sranje. Zaboravila sam da moram pazit šta govorim. Iskrenost mi je uvijek bila najveća vrlina. Svojom iskrenošću izgubit ću drage osobe, bojim se.
Problem je što ne znam drugačije. Prihvati me takvu ili nikako. Ne znam što u meni toliko pogađa «živce». Ne znam ni što to u meni uvijek sjebe nekoga… Ne znam šta još da učinim da udovoljim svima?!
Jebena pogreška, uvijek udovoljavam ljudima…Tako je bilo i bit će!Na kraju uvijek ispadnem jebeni kreten! Na kraju uvijek udovoljim krivoj osobi…drugi se osjećaju nevoljeno…Na kraju bih se trebala podijeliti na više osoba, TAKO ĆU UDOVOLJITI CIJELOM JEBENOM SVIJETU!!!
I push my fingers into my eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the things I have to take
Jesus it never ends, it works it's way inside
If the pain goes on...
I have screamed until my veins collapsed
I've waited as my time's elapsed
Now all I do is live with so much fate
I've wished for this, I've bitched at that
I've left behind this little fact
You cannot kill what you did not create
I've gotta say what I've gotta say
And then I swear I'll go away
But I can't promise you'll enjoy the noise
I guess I'll save the best for last
My future seems like one big past
You're left with me 'cause you left me no choice
(I push my fingers into my) eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
IF THE PAIN GOES ON, I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT!
Put me back together or separate the skin from bone
Leave me all the pieces, then you can leave me alone
Tell me the reality is better than the dream
But I found out the hard way - nothing is what it seems
(I push my fingers into my) eyes
It's the only thing that slowly stops the ache
But it's made of all the things I have to take
Jesus it never ends, it works it's way inside
IF THE PAIN GOES ON, I'M NOT GONNA MAKE IT!
All I've got - all I've got is insane
Ovim putem htjela bih se ispričat svim blogerima što ih malo zapostavljam, problem je u nedostatku vremena, broj obaveza mi se povećava, zbog zdravstvenih i poslovnih problema. Post napišem za 5 minuta, ali za vaše postove mi treba malo više...treba se pročitat s osjećajem, ne samo preletit, trebat će mi vremena, ali ostat ću vam vjerna, kao i vi meni. Pusa svima
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I miss you
ponedjeljak , 17.07.2006.Znaš onaj osjećaj kada ti netko toliko fali, da bi preletjela sve samo da dođeš do nje! Samo da ju vidiš poklonila bi godine svoga života…Da ju čuješ, haha, potrošiš par bonova tjedno…Da čavrljate satima…cijeli dan. Pogotovo prije spavanja, kada ste već oboje u doživljajima dana…Kada je najljepše zaspati uz njen glas…Sada kada nije tu.
I onda sjetim se…znam kako će biti. Znam da ću ju razočarati, da ću ja biti kriva ako sve pukne! Da ju ostavim ovdje, jer moram nešto napravit od sebe! Jer sam dobila savršenu, jebenu priliku! I boli me…Već me sada boli, kraj nje…kako će tek biti kada odem? Kada me ne bude ovdje? Kako ću zaspati, a da ne čujem njen glas…Kako će biti teško. Već je i sada teško. Već i sada voljela bih plakati, voljela bih otići od odluka, jer ih ne znam donositi…Voljela bih pobjeći s njom. Da, sada ja moram ići…
Od početka sam slutila da će tako biti…da ću morati otići. Bojala sam se…započeti bilo šta. Znala sam da ću ju razočarati. Sebe i nju. Nisam to htjela. Ali i ove dane…pa makar ovo malo, ne bi moglo zamijeniti ništa! To su bili najljepši dani moga života…Ne žalim. Nije mi žao ni jedne sekunde! Žao mi je što neću vidjeti njeno lice dugo…predugo. Ovo je nešto što se ne zaboravlja…nikada. Ti dani koji će mi uvijek ostati u srcu…
Ja ću uvijek biti «tu». Možda ne blizu…ali cijelim srcem bit ću s njom…Zauvijek
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone...
She said "Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,"
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the trips always feel so long,
And, I find myself tryna stay by the phone,
'Cause your voice always helps me when I feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, workin' my day around the call,
But when I pick up I don't have much to say,
So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
You know the place where you used to live,
Used to barbeque up burgers and ribs,
Used to have a little party every Hallowe'en with candy by the pile,
But now, you only stop by every once in a while,
Shit, I find myself just fillin' my time,
Anything to keep the thought of you from my mind,
I'm doin' fine, I plan to keep it that way,
You can call me if you find you have somethin' to say,
And I'll tell you, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you and your career,
Me and the rest of the family here singing "Where'd you go?"
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.
Where'd you go?
I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone,
Please come back home...
I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', no longer debatin',
Tired of sittin' and hatin' and makin' these excuses,
For while you're not around, and feeling so useless,
It seems one thing has been true all along,
You don't really know what you got 'til it's gone,
I guess I've had it with you and your career,
When you come back I won't be here and you'll can sing it...
Where'd you go, Fort Minor
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SVE MI TVOJE IDE NA ŽIVCE
utorak , 11.07.2006.Najljepše «sjedne» Slipknot
Kad te pukne onaj jebeni bijes!
Kad silno želiš razbit nešto!
Kad zajedno s mozgom prohujaju i sve pozitivne misli
Kad te stvarno ništa ne drži na tom mjestu
Odakle želiš pobjeći što prije!!!
But i guess i don't care anymore!
You are wrong, fucked, and overrated
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault
This is the end of EVERYTHING
You are the end of EVERYTHING
I haven't slept since I woke up
And found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker
This is the end of EVERYTHING
You are the end of EVERYTHING
Shallow skin, I can paint with pain
I mark the trails on my arms with your disdain
Everyday it's the same - I LOVE, YOU HATE
But I guess I don't care any more...
Fix my problems with the blade
While my eyes turn from blue to gray
God, the worst thing happened to me today
But I guess I don't care anymore...
You are wrong, fucked, and overrated
I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault
This is the end of EVERYTHING
You are the end of EVERYTHING
I haven't slept cince I woke up
And found my whole life was a lie, motherfucker
This is the end of EVERYTHING
You are the end of EVERYTHING
My flaws are the only thing left that's pure
Can't really live, can't really endure
Everything I see reminds me of her
God I wish I didn't care anymore
The more I touch, the less I feel
I'm lying to myself that it's not real
Why is everybody making such a big fucking deal?
I'm never gonna care anymore
What the hell am I doing?
Is there anyone left in my life?
What the fuck was I thinking?
Anybody want to tell me I'm fine?
Where the hell am I going?
Do I even need a reason to hide?
I am only betrayed
I am only conditioned to die
Everything Ends , Slipknot
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Voljela bih umrijeti u snu....sanjati da sam na njenim rukama...
nedjelja , 09.07.2006.Volim ju
Volim ju toliko da će daljina samo još više
Urezati crte njenog lica
U misli
Volim ju
A moram otići
Moram sagraditi budućnost
U svijetu čudnih tijela
U svijetu daleko od osjećaja
Usamljenom kutu beskraja
Toliko ju volim
Da ću suze liti još godinama!
I neću vidjeti lica u prolazu
Dok tugu ubijam u samoći
Bože. Volim ju previše
Da bih tek tako ostavila sve
Iza sebe,
Da bih okrenula leđa
Kako bi sebi ugodila
I ne marim što će meni biti
Tek ne želim vidjeti suze na njenom licu
Ne marim ako propuštam priliku
Kakva mi je poklonjena
Ja ću uvijek samo vidjeti nju
I njeno lice
I osmijeh
Ako je sutra samotno
Ja želim danas umrijeti
Pokraj nje
Slika : H.Bresinsky
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