Nema ih!!
Nije da se žalim...Ali u zadnje vrijeme mislim da smo imali više slobodnih sati nego onih normalno odrađenih. U petak smo imali samo tri sata, a jučer svega tri i pol (zemljopis brojim kao pola)! Netko bi rekao da smo pokvareni i da se radujemo tuđim problemima i bolestima, ali ipak trebaju to shvatiti sa naše, učeničke, strane. Kada nam je svaka obavijest o slobodnom satu jedno veliko oduševljenje! I evo još bi profesorima (kojih nema) poručio da se nikuda ne žure s bolovanja... iz čisto higijenskih razloga, da se ne bi i mi zarazili i onda morali slučajno izostati s nastave! Evo kako našu zemlju doživljavaju u svijetu: Part 1: Cro... what?” — Oscar Wilde on Croatia Croatia and the Croatian people are the ONLY ex-Yugoslavians who were right! When they don't talk about Serbs they brag about how much you can curse in Croatian. They are very proud of the fact that it is impossible to translate these curses in any other language because of their brilliancy. Every second word in Croatian is Kurac - it can mean almost anything depending on the context. When a Croatian is bored of the country he was blessed to live in he goes to Germany which is already inhabited by more Croatians than Croatia itself. When there, he will never stop saying that Croatia is the most beautiful country in the world. Geography The map of Croatia looks like the letter C, which actually also shows how hardworking Croatian people are. They are so tired after the work that they need to lie down and sleep a few more hours everyday. This happens of course to anyone if he/she doesn't manage to get the right amount of coffee/gossip that day. It creates a terrible feeling of "I-don-t-feel-like-it" and "I-don-t-want-to". The Croatian capital is called Zagreb, mostly inhabited by students and other sorts of people not born in Zagreb. There is an urban legend about people actually been born in Zagreb, but all witnesses disappeared under mysterious circumstances. There is no proof that people actually born in Zagreb are in any relation to Dodo birds. There are really two countries in Croatia, the inland country (aka Slavonia), which was part of Hungary for a thousand years and therefore thinks it is really Austria, and the coastal country (aka Dalmatia and Istria), which was part of the Venetian Republic for a thousand years and therefore thinks it is really Italy. The two parts mutually despise each other; the inlanders are despised for their pale skin and coffee addiction; the coastals are despised for their obsequiousness to foreign tourists and constant tans. The two have nothing in common except religion (they speak different dialects of Croatian) and a hostility to Serbs. The stranger can tell which part of the country he is in by trying the local gelato: if it tastes like Italian gelato, he is on the coast; if it tastes like Austrian gelato, he is in Zagreb. Economy Croatia has several major export products, mostly consisting of sunshine, dark tan, nice vacation memories and female tourist pregnancy. Minor products consist mostly of popular music, unusual clothes called "narodna nosnja", digestive problems caused by an extremely wide choice of food which involuntarily compels people to overeat and sexual diseases of a benign nature. Exclusive export products are generals, which are mostly delivered to a small town called Den Haag, if they are not misplaced in transport. Culture People Croatians are very hospitable and friendly in so much as they want to know everything about you ASAP for use in the sport "What-Did-They-Do?" Also most of the people will be very communicative: every time you ask "Do you speak English" they will answer very politely "Ne!" and keep on looking at you. You will find very devoted customer care especially in shops where people (even if you assure them that you don't speak Croatian) will continue promoting the qualities of the products they sell. Language The two most important sentences in Croatia are "We should do it" and "It should be done". Over 1300 years, those ancient sentences marked Croatian history in terms of establishing its sovereignty. However, after proclaiming independent Republic of Croatia in 1990, those sentences become a true national excuse for everything - from establishing the Law of Rights to making the ferry come on time during summer season. Sports Croatia is a very sporty nation. You may have noticed Croatian athletes on the news winning all kind of prizes, but inside the country the most widespread sports are Coffee-Cup Lifting, Smoking and "What-Did-They-Do?” All of these require a lot of exercise and this is why you'll find people in coffee places all the time, especially during working hours, as they get permits to skip work for the sake of this sport. Music Croatian popular music is considered at least good, especially in surrounding countries (except in Hungary and on Mars, whose citizens do not even try to understand our language, but they enjoy music itself). The local traditional music is sung in cafes (because that is where the Croatians are), and is of a choral nature, accompanied by the national instrument, which is clapping hands -- no doubt the origin of the name of the music, klapa. Fun Facts •Croatia is mostly known as responsible for inventing the torture device known as the tie ("kravata" in Croatian and similar languages) and as the birthplace of Nikola Tesla. •Croatia is not responsible for the extinction of Dodo birds! •A popular myth which all Croatians devoutly believe is that the white stone from the island of Brac (which is VERY white) was used to build the White House in Washington, D.C. (which was built of Virginia fieldstone and is only painted white). •Croatia is the only country in the world in which you can get drunk with a police officer |
