nedjelja, 26.02.2006.
naslov:_:_:_:_:
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8:00 budim se...
8:15 spremna sam za polazak... 8:30 u escabaru uzimam nes...prebolestan nes...njami njami... 8:36 ulazim unutra prijavljujem se i... krecem lagano ucit..nemrem vjerovat da djeluje..nakon toliko mjeseci nerada nemara gluposti bljuvanja od svega ja sam sjela za knjigu i stvarno al doslovno zagrijala stolicu nakon gro vremena... idem i sutra jer djeluje....hah... al...  otisla sam opet zadnji sat... jednostavno nemogu,nezelim,necu...NEMOGU... ubija me.... ako je htio da ja prozivljavam,patim,osjecam ono sve sto je i on... mislim da je i postigao... dokle ce tako... sta ce biti... ovo mi se nikad nije happening u zivotu...(nemrem se sjetit hrv rijeci lol...) neopisivi osjecaji prozimaju moje tijelo.... kada bi samo bila u prilici dotaknuti ga... osjetiti njegovu kosu na svojim prstima... pogledi mi nisu dovoljni.... nista mi ne znace.. kad ga se bojim i pogledat.... neopisivo... on krivo shvaca.. on zeli krivo shvatiti... on ne zeli shvatiti.... on niti ne pokusava shvatiti... iznevjerila sam ljubav.... nikad zapravo nisam niti bila bliska s njom... tj ona nije s menom... ja s njom jesam... pokusavam biti... neznam... oprosti... je li lakse umrijet... oprosti... slamam se tu..... lagano... blijedim... koliko ce trajat.... zelim da ode.... umorna sam... od same sebe... od njega... od tebe... ponekad mi dode... dode mi da.... neeeznam... da tako jak osjecaj moze prozimat ovo mlado tupilo.... tako ga moze umoriti... tako je blizuu... a tako daleko.. predaleko.... jednim neopreznim potezom skliznuo mi je.... tesko ga je povratit..(ne povracati...lol...) neznam dali cu ikada i moći... samo ljubav moze neprijatelja pretvoriti u prijatelja.... iako ovo nije na takvoj razini.... dugo iščekivanje je to... jeli ima nesto ... vrjedno gledanja.. voljenja.... laganja... čekanja... življenja... umiranja.... zaintrigirano... nevidljivo... do you remember the days? did you forget those days? totalni collapse... da settam vatru i pratim tvoje tragove vrjeme ce reci....proslost se smije zadnja... klopke su bile postavljene odavno i to je promjenilo sve.. tesko je naci mjesto u tvom novom zivotu.... znam da trebam njegovu utjehu i udobnost.. ova drama mi se gadi..... i sto dulje lezim tu znam da ce mi biti teze ustati.... bez njega... hahahhahahahha.... ::::::::::::::::::::I'M WRAPPED AROUND YOUR FINGER::::::::::::::::: to si htio .... to si i dobio.... i tesko ce biti izbiti to iz mene... ako pokusavas to... nije lako....... nikad nije ni bilo.... lako takve stvari da produ........ sjecas li se stvari.... Forgotten to love you.. znas da je istina.... kotrljala sam se,prevrtala nabasala na tebe i napokon pala... istina lezi....u...ljutim ocima..punima gnjeva za mene.... ovoga puta cu ja platiti cijenu platiti cijenu da ustanem... jednostavno ovaj osjecaj mora otici,nestati.. patnja.muke bolovi samo uzimaju svoju placu...svoju taxu..trošarinu... ako me trebas reci mi....dopusti mi da znam.... tu sam za tebe....  Do you ever think of me? Where do we go to find what's within? Just let it go, always within Always in you It falls apart In caves inward I'm the only one who floats below the rest Of the angels....<3<3<3<3<3  <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 <3<3<3<3<3 <3<3<3 <3 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥ |
četvrtak, 16.02.2006.
a year from now.....and something more...<3<3<3
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eo ovo je posveceno necemu i nekome ............znam da vam se neda citat i necete mozda skuzit...al zaboli me.....kak ocete.....it's mine.,..,.,.,.,.,.,
 Complete and total adoration, My gift to you, my heart was yours, In ten weeks you shaped it, In one night you murdered it. Torn from my chest and laid at your feet, That first step that you took was the worst. Since then you've walked a thousand miles in solace and short remark, And I still have these memories, But will never see what we could have been. Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now? Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? Remember, cause that's all you can do. We'll never make another memory, We'll never make another memory. I wish I would have died in your arms the last time we were together, So I wouldn't have to wake without you today. This time I thought things were real, You said they were, What happened? You were a priority, Was I an option? I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone. Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled. Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart, I'm just sorry that it wasn't enough. So, we'll go our own ways, And hopefully you'll remember these things I've told you, Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said is in sincerity. A broken heart is not what I wanted from this, But I guess I've learned from it. But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes? I don't consider this a mistake, I just wish the story didn't end this way, CAUSE I'M STILL IN LOVE with the person who helped me write it. Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go? Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?  |
utorak, 07.02.2006.
mislim da je sve drugo bespotrebno....
 What you see is what you get (don't you know) Fishing for the answer with a line and sinker Look at me and don't forget (don't you know) Hard to get a grip with all these broken fingers Today I don't feel pretty And i'm tired of trying to fit right in Don't think they're just so great Cause being great must suck We don't always see the bright side We all need ego suicide You hung my id today But I have licked my wounds and carried on Everybody needs some sympathy Santa seemed to miss my chimney Reality is truly scaring me So set 'em straight and finally say My heart is in the right place So wipe that smurk right off your face Don't make me feel like that Cause that's just plain not nice We don't always see the bright side And I lied when I said I was fine You slammed my face today But I have licked my wounds and carried on |
četvrtak, 02.02.2006.
what we've become.....
 otiso je.... uopce mi ne fali... ne onoliko kolko bi trebao... ne onolko kolko bi mi prije.... jeli to dobro ili... zasto tako... mozda jer idemo stariji.... mozda nema vise onog medu nama sto je bilo prije.... slab je...na zivcima sjeban je... jos od malih nogu... ja nisam... mene su drugaciji tretirali.... ja sam drugacijeg duha.... jel to znaci da.... da... da vise nije kao prije... ili.. je ovako bolje.... sto li je... is it me.... or wtf... kkk(kaj koji kurac...) zasto me tako prozdire... zasto uzima od mene onaj djelić koji ga jos treba... i uvjek ce ga trebati... ali... a znam sta je jedan veliki razlog.... a jebiga..... ma i .... neznam...sta da mislim... auč...dredovi me bodu.... sta zeli... i šta sada...... a jebiga... kad riječi jednom dopustite da vam izmakne,vise je nemrete opozvati..... ovo sam malo ironije i sarkazma.... ne znaci i nista... ha...  I'll take this as easy as I can make it seem You'll keep me, me guessing Act like you still believe There's a time and place for everything The words you spoke, the words he said "How could this happen to me?" Wake up and turn around Your game's the flame, it's burning out And now you mean nothing to me... You make it so easy to just walk away You'll take me for granted As we both know you have And so replace every dream you've had And find your way back home This time you'll be on your own I'll be waiting there with your hopes The hopes of better days And a love that won't fade away And I've been feeling so lost, but I won't let it show Into your arms I've fallen once again So I wake up, wake up How could this happen to me So I wake up, wake up Don't let it burn out on me....................................... awesome....♥ |
