Ptitchitza u niskom letu

Something strange

I mean, really strange happened today.

Marcel, "Maria's brother" as he referred to himself, a guy that was helping his father roll joints when he was age eight, to sell on a , and who's on Metadon (as a former heroine junkie, from what I understood) appeared in Thirsty Garry's tonight, when I was there, but the same, always very, very friendly and special guy told him to go away. And he did.

Previously, I saw him fall asleep (under the influence of who knows what) at the bar and nothing.

In recent times, I made it known that I'd like to try the smallest Metadone pill. The same guy (M.) told me it's like heroine. I'm scared of heroine and I never tried anything more serious than canabis but since metadone comes in 'state-regulated' pills and "it's like heroine" and heroine is "like sex times 1,000 times" (as I heard in some memorable, british, film)... well, that's it.

I also met Nikita today, for the 3rd time.

When I'm happy, I'm ultramegahappy. When I'm unhappy, I'm fucking miserable.

Let's not chat about Despair, said Diamanda Galas.
Let's not.

Let's all be Sweetness & Light.
"Happiness is a warm gun".
"War is over if you want it. I want it."

Or "give me sodomy or give me death": again Diamanda. Well, yes: Diamanda is one tough woman, like "my" Maria.

I'm one sensitive guy, hahaha.

It's all about friction, baby, eigenlijk. Ying & yang: a man in you, mi amor, is the woman in me. Sachem once said: Let them never meet.

But I want them to meet and be the best friends, and good lovers. Because they can. Sachem is an alpha-female. I'm not an alpha-male, I'm not even interested in being one. Sachem is a bully, really, because her father was one toward her. My father was kind to me. My mother was busy being a Diva.

So much on amateur psychology for the day.
Over & out. I go sleep now. And dream some pleasant: that's a new phenomenon, since they've fired me (I don't have to worry about work anymore: I know I'm fucked in the Netherlands, for the time being.)