i got up put on the water for a cup or two of coffee and lit a cigarette. i looked out the window. it was still raining. no robins out there today. a door slammed somewhere in the building. he stirred in his peaceful sleep. i couldn’t care less. i turned to the plants in my room and said hi to each one of them so they wouldn’t be jealous of each other. the last thing i needed in my life is a bunch of jealous plants bothering me with their silly problems. in a few minutes the rich aroma of the coffee filled the whole apartment. i went back into the bedroom and sat at the edge of the bed. it was after the first sip that i noticed he was gone. then on second thought i wondered if he was even there or was it just my imagination. it took another sip to notice the splitting headache i was harboring. i closed my eyes and lay back.
everything is purple. a conversation was coming together in my head.
“let’s go for a swim” that was me, i couldn’t hear the answer. i could only hear myself. funny. “no. a swim in the oceans of pink and violet. or green if you prefer....i thought you liked me...oh...well that was nice, yes, very nice...i don’t think, if i did i’d miss too much fun...oh yes i can imagine this. the picture is quite clear. you and me, entangled. in a kiss. in white this time. swimming. riding on feelings...look out the window, the time has stopped for us...what? oh you like my nails...yes, i suppose they could do a lot of damage if they wanted to.”
i opened my eyes suddenly feeling someone moving around the room. so i didn’t just imagine waking up next to him! he looked kind of embarrassed, standing there in the middle of the room in his jeans looking for his shirt. i closed my eyes hoping to catch the rest of the conversation and leaving him to the search knowing that he will never find his shirt because i remember vividly we threw it outside watching it fall to the ground like a parachute.
again i butted into the conversation which had gone on without stopping while my eyes were opened.
“but please, you’ve already had enough...yes i know that you can rarely control yourself, but please try, at least while you’re with me...o.k....what do you think about flying?...come on, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”