Pregled posta

there were days when i would get up in the morning with a smile on my face. i'd look out the window and i would hear the birds cry. i would always somehow manage to find a flock of robins all red and fiery singing. a nightingale would put me to sleep at night and i would wake to the robins. the feeling i would wake up to would be of peace and tranquility. all that manages to get accumulated and welled up inside during the day and night was washed out by the robins' song. my body and soul cleared of all imperfection, ready for a new day, moral high, nothing hidden inside, just a fresh start.

funny, how short ago that was but the pictures are so foggy, so misty, just as if it all didn't really happen. as a matter of fact now, i can't seem to remember when i didn't get up on the wrong side of the bed. so many times i questioned my self, i wondered why the sudden turnaround. the answer never hit me, and it still hasn't, but i'm writing about if for god knows what reason. where have the robins and the nightingales gone? no one seems to know the answer. so yesterday i asked a swallow to bring a robin over for a minute so i could at least get a part of the answer. she told me she'd try but she couldn't promise anything. well, the robin still hasn't arrived and i'm still digging around in the dark.

my name is narcia. i used to laugh a lot. now i don't. it's all gone and i don't know why. at least not yet. today i woke up to a perfectly lovely morning. the skies were gray, covered with clouds, gray raindrops were very insistent on dropping from the gray sky. there were few people in the streets. all were running so i gathered it had started raining quite unexpectedly on them. i smiled a half smile and hoped the rain would not go as quickly as it came. i really enjoyed the rain now days. it seems that it agrees more with me than the sun. the gray goes better with my perfectly dull mood. there weren't any robins out there today and there were no nightingales to put me to sleep last night either. still the morning was quite lovely.

i turned around and him next to me. breathing. slowly. quietly. i couldn't remember when i made the decision to let him stay. i turned to him, and smiled another half smile. he was sleeping like a baby. in my bed. in my room. in my life. i reached over to touch him. he turned on his back, his hair covering his face. i pushed it back, god he looked funny when he was asleep. is it really possible to know someone for years, to have a semblance of a relationship for almost a year, but to never actually see him sleep? i'd seen him smile, laugh, scream, yell, be serious, but i have never seen him sleep. he looked like most of us, a baby, pretending to be an adult.