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..."Tears are meaningless for sorcerers," she said in her deep, husky voice:
"When you joined the sorcerers' world you were made to understand that the designs of
fate, no matter what they are, are merely challenges that a sorcerer must face without
resentment or self-pity."
She paused for a moment, then in her familiar, relentless manner she repeated what she
had said to me on previous occasions.
"Isidoro Baltazar is no longer a man but a nagual.
"He may have accompanied the old nagual; in which case he'll never return. But then, he
may not have."
But why did he..." My voice died away before I had asked the question.
"I really don't know at this time," Florinda said, raising her hand to forestall my protest:
"It is your challenge to rise above this; and as you know, challenges are not discussed or
resented.
"Challenges are actively met.
"Sorcerers either succeed in meeting their challenges, or they fail at it.
"And it doesn't really matter which, as long as they are in command."
Irked by the prosaicness of her feelings and attitudes, I said resentfully, "How do you
expect me to be in command when the sadness is killing me? Isidoro Baltazar is gone
forever."
She retorted sternly, "Why don't you heed my suggestion; and behave impeccably
regardless of your feelings,"
Her temper was as quick as her brilliant smile.
"How can I possibly do that? I know that if the nagual is gone the game is over."
"You don't need the nagual to be an impeccable sorceress," she remarked:
"Your impeccability should lead you to him even if he's no longer in the world.
To live impeccably within your circumstances is your challenge.
"Whether you see Isidore Baltazar tomorrow, in a year, or at the end of your life should
make no difference to you."...
Every night since my arrival, I had dreamt the same dream, which I had forgotten about
until that very moment.
I dreamt that all the women sorcerers came to my room and drilled me in the sorcerers'
rationales.
They told me, on and on, that dreaming is the secondary function of the womb- the
primary being reproduction and whatever is related to it.
They told me that dreaming is a natural function in women; a pure corollary of energy.
And given enough energy, the body of a woman by itself will awake the womb's
secondary functions; and the woman will dream inconceivable dreams.
The dreaming energy needed, however, is like aid to an underdeveloped country: It never
arrives.
Something in the overall order of our social structures prevents that energy from being
free so women can dream.
Were that energy free, the women sorcerers told me, it would simply overthrow the
'civilized' order of things.
But women's great tragedy is that their social conscience completely dominates their
individual conscience.
Women fear being different and don't want to stray too far from the comforts of the
known. The social pressures put upon them not to deviate are simply too overpowering.
And rather than change, women acquiesce to what has been ordained: 'Women exist to be
at the service of man.'
Thus, women can never dream sorcery dreams although they have the organic disposition
for it.
Womanhood has destroyed women's chances: Whether it be tinted with a religious or a
scientific slant, it still brands women with the same seal:
Women's main function is to reproduce, and whether they have achieved a degree of
political, social, or economic equality is ultimately immaterial.
Post je objavljen 01.01.2014. u 18:40 sati.