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maytag dishwasher drain
Lauren Reid Hometown. Heather Hess The Typewriter font.

Stories I want to document:

1. Putting parmesan cheese in the dishwasher instead of soap

2. Vacuuming up the living room curtains

3. Riley decorating the cat with toothpaste

4. Coming home to sleeping kids covered with pop tarts

5. Calling the police when I thought someone was breaking in because Jeff came home early from a business trip and thought it would be fun to surprise me

6. Alex yelling “those thieves stole my blood” in the hospital parking lot

7. The $30 I loaned Jeff to pay for a marriage license

8. Zach’s electrical “experiment” at age 2

9. Finding out I was going to be an aunt

10. Mike’s scary broom face

11. Drinking a raw egg in front of my high school

12. Chasing the kids with the vacuum

13. Game dates with the Andersons

14. Quilts made by Jeff’s Grandmother

15. The 2,000 Tony the Tiger towels Alex tried to order on the internet

16. Hosting crop parties

17. Fogged in at the airport for 5 hours

18. Playing Risk with Brett and his dates

19. Drinking a raw egg at a Super Bowl party

20. Marshmallow gun fight

21. Eating lunch in the courtyard in high school

22. Alex reporting Jeff to the Oregon airport security

23. Riley drenching herself in Asian hot sauce

24. Why we joke about “minor skin irritations”

25. Riley’s warning from the go-cart operator

26. Mike’s “mild” New Mexican lasagna

27. Grandma Smith’s rolls

28. The custom Barbie Doll Alex made for Riley

29. Accidentally cutting the cable wires while doing yard work

30. Scaring my Mom with loud music in the car

31. Sleeping in a leaky tent in a rainstorm

32. Alex’s monopoly games with Kyle

33. Playing balloon volleyball in the living room

34. Lola eating our puzzle pieces

35. Alex’s Amazing Mumford tuxedo

36. The time my Mom thought she had a blog stalker

37. Winning a bet by eating octopus

38. Jeff trying to stop the New York Knicks from coming in our window

39. Riding the Matterhorn with our eyes closed

40. Riley singing “Don’t Buy the Liverwurst” in her sleep

41. Being sorted into Slytherin at Pottermore

42. Laying on my left side

Leaky dishwasher