Pregled posta

Marketing

I love these lyrics by Motion City Soundtrack, but I wish I could say they were true. In fact, for most aspects of my life the opposite is true: the present freaks me out.
You see, I have lived my entire life for the future. And with the goals I have in mind that makes sense. However, it stops me from taking risks. Sometimes it’s a good thing like I don’t go out and do drugs, party, or have sex with random guys because I live for my future. Heck! I’m not even going to get my nose pierced even though I really want to because it may stop me from being able to get the job that I want in the future. But at the same time it stops me from taking risks that may be a good thing. I mean, I can’t predict the future! I don’t know what’s going to happen and if a risk I’m too afraid to take now might make my future better or worse.
For instance, if there’s this boy: he’s nice, I love his family, and he isn’t into any bad things. But will I ever take the risk and do something about it? Probably not. I will instead just sit here and continue to worry about my future (in case you haven’t figured it out yet, this is the area of my life in which this quote actually does apply) thinking to myself: “what if I find someone better looking?”, “what if there’s someone that better suits me?”, “what if our futures don’t align?” Oh, but in case you’re wondering, once I do discover that or futures would align I find other excuses. And while I do speak my mind generally in situations like this if I want to say something chances are that I won’t actually say it until it’s too late and is no longer relevant. See the risk in that? I don’t.
I just worry so much about how my present will affect my future. It doesn’t help either that I have my family saying “oh don’t get attached to anyone or anything for the next couple of months since you’ll be leaving and will have a whole wide array of opportunities in front of you down in Irvine.” Really now? I know you guys just care about me, but advice in this area of my life is not what I need. Considering you all have done something like this for the one you care about. So let me make my own path, and stop saying things that make me freak out even more about my future.
God has only guaranteed me this one day to live, He has not given me tomorrow yet. So why do I continue to live for my tomorrow instead of for today?

awesome. so awesome.
I know.

My hair stylist did such a great job with his hair for this shoot too. Makeup could've been better though.

standard disclaimer for those that don't recognize wide angle photos:
no his nose and chin aren't really that big