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nytimes, Monday, May 31, 2010. This is a part of a photo essay the first part of which I didn't copy because I hadn't seen this one. I guess the very first uncopied pic was one of the sltribs human interest stories about returning national guard personnel in which the male soldier was met my his young wife who [[a distant female voice commented "hmmm". [[[There were 3 or four gargoyles here when I arrived. One coughed at me vigorously. A shaved head attacked me with fair aggressiveness as I contemplated taking a nytimes from the asuu stand which someone had left open. They're free for students with cards to open the door but the stand won't let civilians pay cash to open it. A dark skinned Indian or Mexican came and plugged in a lap top at mcds. These kins of gargoyles use laptops in places where the black and whites won't let me. There are always lots of them tapping away with occasional laughter in the flash mobs at Sugarhouse Coffee. The night before last a Karen voice loudly and continuously tormented me as I read my newspaper. I thought about trying to give it her kind of humorous tone but it wasn't funny. It was painful and insulting. It engendered in me intense feelings of anger and hatred, emotions I believe are sinful and destructive to whatever is good in my soul. There is a gargoyle that is punctuating what I am writing with loud coughs and mucus sucking. He just punctuated this last with 2 mucus sucks. As I was trying to call my brother the other night, he changed his answer machine so it would respond after 2 rings instead of after four. It had responded after 4 the first time I called. They nearly always interfere with the phone in various ways when I try to call my brother or sister. My brother still has it set to respond after 2 rings. When I use a pay phone, of course, I lose my quarters. I believe they demonstrated that the phone operates on a computer chip cough cough cough whisper and can be set not to keep the quarters but I'm not sure. Last night the Karen voice began to torment me but it stopped shortly after starting. When I arrived, I sat by myself but as I settled down a young back person arrive and sat in front of me. He didn't do anything to draw my attention or distract me. It's just that he seemed to be there, like the gargoyles in the "guest" section, for me. A couple arrive the female part of which wore a head scarf so I thought they must be MUSLIMS. The man left while the woman set up a laptop which seemed like a foil. I thought, "...just happened to drop in to use your laptop while your husband cough cough went downstairs to do whatever, huh?" When He got back she took down the laptop and they set up a chess board. That didn't seem realistic to me either. It was just after the Karen voice had appeared and I think had already disappeared. I forgot about them until after I had finished reading my newspaper. There was something I had read that connected them and this complex flash mob with Larry but I guess I [a whispered "right"] I've forgotten. It may have been a well written editorial about a photographer who said his career had come to an end because of digital equipment and the internet. It made me think of Larry and the little Minox camera he [a back pack person arrived wheeling carrying with several pieces of luggage including one or mre backpacks. When he got behind me I heard a male voice sort of sigh with a bored sound. The black and whites have tormented with the idea that I am boring for a long time---decades. They fall asleep and yawn while I talk to them among other things. Sharon kept doing it---in a Jehovah's Witness sense---on Memorial Day. She also sicked her little dog on me but only the once today. It's the skier with the catbird smile that is coughing at me. He sounds very much like the black bearded Barnes and Noble security guard but less aggressive and more genuine. A Harward gargoyle just arrived and sat next to me.] carried on is mission to Argentina. When the Black and whites told me that Larry had written that National Geographic article on Montana Mennonites I loved and have mentioned several times, I had wondered who took the photos and since then they have inexplicably setting flash fuse bombs for a long time. When she was in college here, Staci, my sister's first daughter by Dennis, her second husband, had me take her up to Mill Creek Canyon to take some photos for a college class and the other day they did something to me or showed me something to tell me that this trip was part of a black and white vignette that had something to do with how Sharon and Larry and so on had defeated me with respect to journalistic photography and how I had proven to be a failure in this area as much as in any other, but I can't think right now of what it was. I recall that years ago they told me that Dennis' little brother had opened a photography studio and I had a very hard time with the idea. I've tried to explain how

Kamalakar Mishra bl1281.154 m57 1993 lc books, They seem to be leaving books out for me. I have kept on wondering about the central point of Tantraism since I was first titillated by it. I've always thought it, the point, was orgasm shared with a consort although many authors try to gloss over the sexual aspects while saying the emphasis is in the destruction of the illusory ego and self realization in the universal self. [[[When I arrived this morning about 5 minutes after opening the inmate and about 4 other gargoyles were waiting for me. I went to collect my books and had diarrhea so it took quite some some. I thumbed through this book while I was sitting on the toilet and found this paragraph and decided to copy it like a picture. I think there must be a way to get this format into a text format cough but I haven't figured out what it is. They were pretty quiet until I got to the place where I put the left hand bracket above and then one of them coughed loudly at me. I think it was the inmate cough himself. They've cruised me a time or two and I think I can hear a voice way in back. The ringing in my ears sometimes sounds like a voice, though, and even like a small band. inmate cough. They've been pretty hard on me all morning although I have been able to function somewhat through the vibes. The Catholic priest who died of cancer, the colleague of Darrel Williams from the Hotte Shoppes came in. He hasn't been there for a while. A tiny little Asian woman came...when I first started seeing her I couldn't have called her an "older woman". One of the gargoyles just cruised me. He was a baseball cap with a curved brim and a gray sweatshirt person. I mention the curved brim because they have started using people who wear inmate cough a baseball type cap but with a high front ones they sometimes use to advertise a tractor company or a beach resort and a brim on which the wearer has apparently expended some effort to make perfectly flat. I think it is a New York hip-hop style. There was one of these types of gargoyles in the flash mob they tormented me with in Smith's last night. This one included a Martin Heimlich security guard and a "cheerful" Mark Jardine. They introduced this flash mob a Jim Gutierrez who was aggressively and happily striding in my direction in the tire store window and a nose fart way in back and an inmate cough and the cruiser returned pursuing cough inmate suck mucus distant throat clear I have that "pursuing back there. I don't know where it came from. One of the gargoyles suck mucus just cruised me. I didn't recognize him. He's the skier. He has his hair cut short and is wearing a red plaid shirt. ( I added this and the coughs and so forth within these parenthesis belong to this addition. At a glance, I was going to say he looks like a Mormon. I've never really looked at his face, but I think it has the look of a handsome, dissolute alcoholic.I think he just breathily chortled but I can't be sure. The others coughed variously, throat cleared and commented verbally. I went back and added these parenthesis and they're still talking. cough.) He has returned now and with a nonchalant look has sat suck mucus behind me down in a carrel opposite and kitty corner from me. suck mucus behind me with a throat clear and now another suck mucus and a telepathic voice that told me in an angry tone I better get used to it . These gargoyles always seem contemptuous in a different way than what I just called "angry". It's more of an insensitivity. I don't mean to be insulting.] I think she may be a Jehovah's Witness with whom I have had some contact but I don't remember for sure. Or, she might be one of those Koreans who used to to come to mcds on 23rd and talk and laugh loud and pray earnestly. There is that Korean church down the street and I connected them with it without any other evidence than that they looked Asian. A loud cough cough. I think it was the skier. Another cough way in back and a throat clear from the inmate. This Asian woman asked me if there was a place to get a newspaper and when I tried to explain where the vending machines are and that they haven't gotten today's paper yet, she brusquely ignored me. It was very stressful.It's something they often do. They might ask for directions they don't need, for instance, then start raining on me. then r I Here is another insertion I can't explain but there was a loud laugh as I started this sentence and it came from an area from which such sounds come when they have disabled a function on my word processor or sabotaged my work in some other way. A bit later she came over and asked me if I am "Caucasian". I Couldn't hear her, of course, and made her repeat it, cough cough, maybe twice but I'm not sure. After she was sure I knew what she had asked she gave me a piece of caramel with a white nougat center cough cough by the inmate wrapped in cellophane and said something about how "we"

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