You asked the doctor if you would be diabetic forever. You still don't know what forever feels like, but after all of the years you have had to cope with this disease, you will never be comfortable with it. It is your own private condition that no one will ever understand or experience the way you do. You can be an amateur expert and scoff at others' well-meaning ineptitude. Of course you realize the irony in this feeling; no one else would want to experience diabetes so closely as to be diab.