Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable.
In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
You've achieved success in your field when you don't know whether what you're doing is work or play.
I wrote myself a check for ten million dollars for acting services rendered and dated it Thanksgiving 1995. I put it in my wallet and it deteriorated. And then, just before Thanksgiving 1995, I found out I was going to make ten million dollars for Dumb & Dumber. I put that check in the casket with my father because it was our dream together.
The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities.
Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted.
The art of dining well is no slight art, the pleasure not a slight pleasure.